To Write Is to Rest by Alan Anderson

 

My post in January reflected on “rest” as my word for 2020. Words from the book of Matthew helped plan my thoughts.

 

 Matthew 11: 28-29—"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

 

Here is part of what I said in my January post. 

 

“I admit the yoke of the world, its ways of life, can weigh me down. This yoke is too much and difficult to bear. These days, with so much sin, confusion and disorder being tolerated, I want to fade away. My thoughts taunt me by saying I don’t feel safe and I don’t fit in. The temptation to find a place to run away can be a difficult invitation to resist.”

 

Now, as the end of the year draws closer, rest is still a need. I admit as I write this post; I am tired.

 

I am tired:

• ·       Tired of not being with my family
• ·       Tired of my church family being split up for now
• ·       Tired COVID-19 cases increase daily here in British Columbia
• ·       Tired of a consequence of my diagnosis of extreme obstructive sleep apnea continues to affect my ability to concentrate
• ·       Tired of Zoom meetings and events because I find them a challenge to concentrate on
• ·       Tired of people and their agitation toward healthcare professionals
• ·       Tired of not being able to sit in a coffee shop and people watch and write
• ·       I am tired of noting things that cause my tiredness

 

I find the reality of rest found in God is a process. I am getting there, but I have not arrived. Matthew 11:28-29 speaks to me. The promised words embrace my soul. “…I will give you rest… you will find rest for your souls.” The words remind me of my deep need and a promised gentle rest. This is not an elusive emotional longing, but a stated result of an honest heart after God.

 

Throughout this tumultuous year I can still laugh, rest, love, and write. I relate several of my writing projects to emotional healing. I wrote a four-part series on writing as healing for InScribe’s, FellowScript Magazine. This offered time to reflect on the power of writing to be an aid to emotional healing. I also began a writing project that has been brewing in my mind for years. I mentioned this in my August 22 InScribe post (Plant Them a Garden: A Work of Reflection and Poetry by Alan Anderson). I look forward to sending this book into the world in 2021, Lord willing.

 

God has given me the privilege and call to be a writer. I write to give people hope in the presence of grief and hardship. I find rest when I write. I hope what I write gives God pleasure. I am tired and I have found rest.

 

InScribe family of writers, in what way does what you write impact your life?

 

 

 

https://scarredjoy.ca/

The Clarity of 2020 Vision - Tracy Krauss

In January I chose the word 'Clarity'. It just seemed to fit so well with that fact that I needed to refocus my priorities because of ongoing heart health issues in an effort to minimize my stress. I also liked the way it meshed with the whole idea of "20/20 Vision" in the year 2020. Who could pass up on such a theme?

Well, to continue the play on words, hindsight is 20/20, as they say, and now that this strange and challenging year is drawing to a close, I can see that continuing to seek clarity is still as valid now as it was eleven months ago. 

In my January post, I explained how I had chosen to step down from several long time activities in order to be able to keep up with others. I simply couldn't continue with the demands of directing an Easter Passion Play, volunteering on the local and regional Arts Councils, or substitute teaching. Little did I know that not many months from then, schools would be closed, and plays and other arts events would be shut down anyway. 

I also didn't know that just a few days after that post went live I would end up being taken by ambulance to the hospital and later flown to Vancouver to investigate the cause of even more heart problems. Two weeks later I was home again, just as Covid was starting to take hold. Again, my previous decision to let go of some responsibilities seemed providential. 

The reminder to clearly seek the Lord before taking on any activities or projects has been an ongoing process. While the first few months of the Covid crisis were an 'excuse' to lay low and not take on too much, by late summer I found myself falling back into my old habit of over committing. 

Fall Conference - and our very first ever virtual conference - was taking place in September, and as InScribe's president and part of the committee, I was very involved in making sure it went off without too many problems. 

Added to that, school started up again. As an online support teacher for a Distributed Learning School, I had parent consultations, Student Learning Plans to write, and many, many staff meetings. 

Somehow, two new books came out at the exact same time in mid-August: Tempest Tossed, book three in my THREE STRAND CORD Series and a memoir I helped my 85 year old friend write called Angels Watching Over Me. This meant I had book launches and other marketing activities along with everything else. 

And finally, a precious grandson was born on September 1. I wanted to be there for my daughter, providing meals and helping as much as possible because that's what Moms (and Omas) do, right?  

Let me backtrack just a bit - not to garner sympathy by any means, but just to make things clear. My current condition of microvascular disease on top of congestive heart failure and previous bypasses due to coronary artery disease means that I often suffer from chest pain. To put it plainly, my heart isn't very healthy. I currently take a mitt full of drugs and wear a nitro patch every day. I also never go anywhere with out another bottle of nitro just in case I need an extra shot. Over exertion can cause problems, but the biggest enemy for me is STRESS.

Somehow I managed to get through September with a minimum of 'episodes'. (What I call chest pain that stops me in my tracks.) Perhaps it was sheer willpower, but Fall Conference went off without a hitch, Student Learning Plans got written, one book became a bestseller on Amazon, and I got in lots of "Freddie snuggles". (My grandson's name is Fredrick.)

But then, almost immediately afterwards, I paid the price. The last couple of months have been a struggle for me. Too many 'episodes' too frequently have me realizing that saying I'm letting go is not the same as actually letting go. 

Another daughter had a baby boy on November 8, 2020. (Yes, we're prolific that way...!) I had to face the fact that I could not physically go and stay with her to help out like I did for her other two kiddos. Rather than be a help, I could be more of a hindrance if they had to worry about me having an 'episode'. This felt like a blow, and I shed a tear or two. I wanted to be there for this daughter, too, because "that's what Moms and Omas do". But it is very clear because of the frequency and severity of my so called episodes that I'm not that person any more. People often remark, "I hope you start feeling better soon," but my condition isn't like a cold or flu from which I will recover. Limitations are my new reality.

Which brings me to one final point. As we approached this year's InScribe AGM in September, I prayed long and hard about whether I should step down as president. With so many changes to the executive as well as other key exec members leaving for health related reasons, I felt it right to continue my term until its conclusion in September of 2021. However, I am so very grateful that God saw fit to bring alongside an amazing, skilled, efficient and larger team than we had previously. With these folks in place, I foresee a gradual stepping back from the extra duties I usually take on and plan to let the team carry the load. I know that this organization is in good hands. 

I am also looking to pass on the torch as moderator of this blog. If anyone feels the call to take it up, please contact me.  

As God continues to give me clarity about what I am to be doing right now in this stage of my life, I cannot continue to look back and long for how it used to be. I do believe I have more books to write, grandchildren to snuggle, people to encourage, and interceding to do, but perhaps not at the same pace. 

I know that God has perfect vision for the future and that He has a plan and a purpose, both for me and this organization.

Tracy Krauss is serving as InScribe's president. She lives in Tumbler Ridge, BC where she continues to write - and get in as many snuggles as possible.

tracykrauss.com

Pondering Priorities – Denise M. Ford

As I rounded the corner past our garage, I heard the unmistakable, “Jay, Jay.” I knew before I set foot into the backyard that a blue jay had returned to enjoy some seeds from our bird feeder. The calls became louder, growing with intensity, echoing and shouting, “Jay, Jay.”

 

I looked up towards the top of the spruce trees trying to pinpoint where the blue jay balanced at her perch. There at the highest branch the white face delineated with black and blue captured my gaze, its steely black eyes holding mine in a daring bold stare.  “Jay, Jay!” she called. I nodded and mumbled my excuses for retrieving the burlap covers from my flowers.  “I’ll get out of your way soon,” I whispered.

 

“Jay, Jay!”  She swooped by me, focusing on a landing not far from the other flower bucket awaiting my undraping. I carefully stepped away as I realized she had a partner replying to her shouts as he flitted from the crab-apple tree to the ground below the feeder.  I quickly went inside to retrieve my camera as I hoped to capture a shot of the visiting pair. We have strategically placed bird feeders directly beyond our kitchen bay windows so we can enjoy the frequent and varied menagerie that relies on the food sources we faithfully replenish.

 

Surprisingly, as I snuck into place to begin my photographic shoot, a small flock of blue jays descended one by one next to each other on the grassy patch under the feeders.

 

As if a patchwork blanket had been shaken and spread before them, the jays came together to eat companionably amidst the scattered seeds.

 

For nearly thirty minutes the picnic proceeded with blue jays alighting for refreshment and then posting themselves in the higher branches to spy any approaching predators. Back and forth they flitted, eating and scanning. Thankfully the magpies and squirrels which also depend on our backyard diner did not challenge the serenity and comradery of this band of jays.  In fact, the acrobatic squirrels who twist and gyrate themselves into all sorts of ridiculous poses as they attempt to open the bird feeders had unknowingly contributed to the feast that unfolded for this travelling jay flock.

 

As they sated themselves scrounging for every bit of seed, one by one the jays took turns grabbing new morsels from the feeder that swayed above them. I continued to maneuver myself to hopefully acquire photographs that would reveal the scene before me.  I wondered how professional nature photographers managed patience and precision with finesse and clarity.

 

All too soon the party dispersed, as a silent signal moved them to depart towards the edge of the row of spruce trees.  Except two remained, enjoying the quiet cove, eventually calling to each other as they retreated into the thickness and camouflage of the spruce trees between our and the neighbour’s yards.

 

As I reflect on the word I chose as my guiding light for this unexpected year, awareness, I gratefully accept and claim my message.

Awareness!

Become immersed in it.

Awareness!

Become intensified by it.

Awareness!

Become determined by it.

Let it open your ears to listen and to follow the messages presented to you.

Let it open your soul so you may delight in the abundance of mercy offered to you.

Awareness!

Let yourself respond within an everlasting covenant with God.

 

At that time my covenant stated that I would make writing a top priority in my life, with awareness serving as the mechanism to inspire my writing ideas. However, the CoVid virus broadened and altered the scope of my priorities. My awareness now includes the fears, anxiety, frustrations, isolation, disappointments, limits and boundaries of living safely with a deadly virus that swirls and lurks in the atmosphere. Writing priorities of any kind happen haphazardly and certainly without discipline. I had revised a purposeful strategy which I hoped would begin consistently this September. And then the question arose as I struggled to begin a writing schedule. What still matters?

 

Like a little flock of blue jays our immediate cohort during this pandemic remains as our sons’ families. That’s the group that travels with us, with whom we pause to enjoy an outdoor picnic, and who we protect from danger as we enjoy each other’s company. Our little band, our little party scrounging for the moments of meaningful time and searching for ways to branch out in our love and care for each other.

 

Yesterday, I called my dearest friend and we reiterated the priority of our prayer covenant with each other. We promised to continue to pray for wisdom and protection as we choose to boldly grandparent in-person throughout these days of an unrelenting deadly virus. We choose to support each other as we receive our calls to come to help care for our grandchildren. Every time we swoop in to be with the grandkids, we find unexpected bounty amidst simple scatterings of laughter, love and faith.

 

Are we aware of who provides, protects and places us as needed so we can lavish loving care on our grandchildren? Yes! Do I understand how this Nana role limits my writing priority? Yes!

 

The year 2020 definitely highlighted Awareness, as it prevailed during the unfolding of this pandemic. What still matters? Immersing myself in loving Nana activities and allowing the intensity of those experiences to infuse unique and meaningful writing ideas. As I respond to my little flock, I trust in the priority of love.

DEEP IN DIVERSE by Sheila Webster

This past January my years verse was James 1:2-5.  For me it is more of a life verse.  It became very apt though for all of us.

There are always moments of madness and moments of meditation, reflection and processing on the events.

From the death of a grandchild to the birth of two, 

death of relative

to the moving of one son and impending marriage of another 

and the daily needs of my home. 

Life propels us into an uncertain future. But there is always wisdom and hope to be found when we seek it.