A Word is a Word - Marnie Pohlmann

“You know you are a testimony, don’t you?”

Inwardly, I shrunk away from the thought.  This wasn’t the first time someone had said that to me, and it wasn’t the first-time regret, disappointment, and even shame were my responses.

Yes, I was a testimony - a bad testimony.

Over the last few years circumstances have pulled me into a deep vortex of darkness. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually; every piece of me has been shaken and overwhelmed. I relate well to Job in the Bible, who had one catastrophe after another spin his life out of control. And while Job did angrily tell God it would have been better if he had never been born, he still, in the pile of mourning ashes, agreed that God is God, even when Job didn’t understand His ways.

In our Christian walk, there will come a time when we must realize God is not only loving but also just. God divides right from wrong. God decides good and bad. While God wants to and does give His people good things, He does so even in what we would consider “bad” ways. God is not mean, He is holy. God is not a “genie in a bottle” who gives us what we want, He is our Father who provides all we need as well as the desires that He plants in our hearts.

And like a rebellious child, we sometimes don’t like the life God leads us in.

A popular worship song speaks of the way we as Christians are encouraged to respond to God throughout our life.

“You give and take away.

You give and take away.

And still, my heart will say,

Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

                                                         (Blessed Be Your Name - Tree63)

Even in difficult times, we worship a God who redeems our struggles. He makes dry bones dance. He waters the desert places. He surrounds us when flames of disappointment burn our soul.

And this is where my testimony fails.

I want to be that faithful Christian who always praises God. And in public, with my hair combed, makeup covering sleep-deprived eyes, and a smile pasted on my face, perhaps it appears I am just that. One doctor commented, “You look very put together for someone who is so depressed.”

It’s not that I am trying to be something I am not or that I put on a mask. God knows who I am when I am with others or alone. And while I may look “put together” in my faith on the outside, I am still truthful about my struggles. Anyone who asks will know what is really going on with me.

I don’t believe I have lost faith in God. I still believe.  Yet I have a difficult time being thankful for the path I continue to stumble along. I do not always feel joy, even knowing there is an eternity beyond the dark moments of despair.

Yet, even though I can be honest and admit I did not actively live my faith during these years, I can also see how God redeems my failure.

I can say I believe but I struggle in my belief.

I can say I believe, and I struggle in my belief.

Do you see the difference?

but… or and…

Both are conjunctive, joining two parts of a sentence. The two parts of the sentence say the same thing, so that little word in the middle is what makes the difference in how I say this.

A word is a word is a word. Right? Or is it?

As much as it may be important to choose a word or phrase that will focus your determination towards your actions each day of the year, it is also important to lay aside any word or phrase that holds you back from moving forward.

While on long-term disability from work, I was assigned a counselor who was to help find practical ways I could handle anxiety in my life so I could return to work. She spoke about rephrasing, which my education in communication and counseling had already covered. Catch your thought, recognize the lie, and change that thought to the truth. There is great power in rephrasing. Scripture teaches it as “renewing the mind.” What this counselor shared about rephrasing, though, was a small difference that can have a great impact on me.

But - a word that often begins an excuse, a reason why something will not work or cannot work. But is often used as a word of defeat. “I can go for a walk, but it is cold outside.” But negates the walk because it is cold.

And - this word offers a choice. There are two sides, equal in truth or importance. “I can go for a walk and it is cold outside.” Two truths to consider. One does not negate the other. I can go for a walk and because it is cold outside - I will dress for it. Or I can go for a walk and it is cold outside - so I will use the treadmill.

Struggling in my Christian walk - or in life - is not the failure it feels like. The truth is my struggle is included as part of my testimony. The past few years have been difficult, and I have lost many of my healthy habits, both physically and spiritually. Basic things like breathing, eating, sleeping, journaling, and even reading Scripture have become areas that need to be relearned. I’m glad I was encouraged to memorize Scripture as a child, so God’s word is never far away.

So, I think my word for 2020 needs to be and. I am not in control of all areas of my life, and God is in control of all areas of my life. I still struggle and I have choices.

A word is a word and one small word, whether thought, spoken, or written, can make a difference.

Equipped: How God Prepared Me to Write My Latest Book - Ruth L. Snyder

God is amazing! When was the last time you stopped and worshipped Him—not because you wanted or needed anything, but because you just enjoy fellowshipping with Him so much?

As I look back at how God prepared me to write Equipped: Ephesians 6 Devotionals to Empower and Make You Victorious in Everyday Struggles, I am amazed at His grace and mercy, and humbled that He chooses to use weak earthly vessels like me to share His glorious message.

I first heard about God, my Heavenly Father, from my earthly parents. I heard them praying when people were afraid to come to church because lightening struck the giant tree where our church members met. I watched their example of standing firm in faith against witch doctors and their curses. I experienced God's financial provision for our family.

Jesus Christ became my personal Saviour when I confessed my sin and accepted His forgiveness as a five-year-old. Four years later, I attended school five hundred miles away from where my parents were working, and the "faith of my fathers" became my own faith in practical ways. Several years after that, I was challenged to stand firm in my faith while attending a Christian school where others made fun of my devotion to Jesus. Camp ministry during my high school summers provided many opportunities to share the gospel, nurture others in their faith, and play the piano by ear. During these years a couple of high school teachers encouraged me in my writing and gave me practical experience working on the school newsletter and yearbook. After graduation, I chose to attend Prairie Bible College, where the foundation of my faith was further strengthened. I was able to experience a variety of work including cleaning, supervising, doing computer work for a college teacher, and helping teachers rewrite course syllabi. When I finished college, I enjoyed working in the Prairie Book Room, where I learned how to place orders, track stock, and deal with frustrated customers.

Then God began the training in earnest. My husband and I experienced the confusion and pain of infertility and a miscarriage. My first published article, Gifts From A Loving God, chronicled our journey through loss into the incredible and challenging world of adopting children with special needs. My writing journey continued as I took courses from The Children's Institute of Literature, joined The Word Guild and InScribe Christian Writers' Fellowship, entered contests and began blogging. This led to more opportunities for publication and eventually I wrote my first set of ebooks: Learn Twitter—10 Beginning Steps and Learn Twitter—10 Intermediate Steps. When people asked for a paperback version, I learned how to self-publish on Amazon with Twitter Decoded: Tips and Tools for Authors. My spiritual journey deepened as I experienced challenges in parenting, marriage, and leadership. My writing life and spiritual journey continued to intersect. God took me through deep waters where I knew I was helpless without Him: a prodigal child, separation from my husband, and my dad's struggle with dementia. Our daughter is now happily married and the mother of our first grandson. My husband and I have been reunited and are working on our marriage. My dad's struggle with dementia makes me look forward to heaven.

When God laid on my heart that I should write a devotional on spiritual warfare, based on Ephesians 6:10-18, I resisted. However, God's still, small voice persisted. (I share more detail in my devotional in the November 2018 issue of FellowScript.) Today the manuscript is in the final edits. My goal is to have the ebook and paperback available in November.

Are you writing a book? Tell us about it and share the story behind your work!

Sheila Webster and other executive members
presented me with this cross in 2016, which
reminds me to put on the full armour of God!

Ruth L. Snyder lives in northeastern Alberta with her husband and children. She writes in a variety of genres, sharing the lessons God is teaching her about walking with God, parenting, marriage, self publishing, and healthy living. Connect with Ruth at ruthlsnyder.com.

My First Experience with Getting Published - Ruth L. Snyder

Although I have always enjoyed writing, I never considered myself a "writer" until a few years ago. My journey to becoming a "serious" writer started with the God Uses Ink competition (now called Fresh Ink Novice Contest) sponsored by The Word Guild. I entered a piece titled, Gifts from a Loving God, the story of my journey through infertility and adoption in the competition in 2009. To my amazement and delight, I won first prize for my age category. This prompted a flurry of excitement as I made plans to claim the prize of a free conference registration for Write!Canada.

After the conference was over I began the adventure of submitting my piece for publication. One of the main tools I used was The Christian Writer's Market Guide. I realized after doing some research that memoirs are a very specific niche that does not have very many marketing opportunities. However, I discovered there is one Canadian Christian magazine which is very interested in testimonies, especially from Canadian writers. I sent a query off to Testimony Magazine and waited. The waiting seemed like it lasted forever! However, one day there was an email in my inbox from the editor, requesting that I submit my article. When I wrote the article for the contest, it was about 1200 words. The editor of Testimony asked me to cut it down to 800 words. After a few tries I was able to reach the specified word limit. I submitted the article and was excited to hear that my story was going to be published. I received notice in October that my article was accepted for publication, but the article wasn't published until January.

I will always remember the feeling of holding that first published piece in my hands, along with a cheque for $100. It was humbling, glorious, exciting, amazing - all at once. I was encouraged when people read my story and were encouraged by it, but also humbled to see what God accomplished both in me and through me.

Testimony Magazine only purchased first rights, so I was also able to have Gifts from a Loving God published in two Sunday School papers in the United States. Since that time I have had several other pieces published. The rejection letters have come too. I find myself going through different "seasons" - sometimes I'm sending multiple manuscripts out to publishers at once. At other times I'm so busy with life and squeezing time in for writing that I don't have any submissions going out. Currently my collection of completed writing projects is stacking up. I guess it's time to get that market guide out again!

www.trusteesnyder.blogspot.com
(Education information)
www.ruthlsnyder.com
(Ruth's writing and family life) 
www.earlyyearssuccess.com
(Information for caregivers of children ages 0-5)
Follow Ruth on Twitter:www.twitter.com/@wwjdr

Jesus Loves Me - Martha Anderson

"Jesus loves me! This I know for the Bible tells me so," I sang heartily, but without comprehension, as I skipped around the yard. Gradually the simple words of the old children's hymn filtered into my conscious understanding.

Jesus loves me! Me! This song is about me! I am the one Jesus loves. That realization was so overwhelming that I stopped in my tracks and allowed the words of the song to replay slowly through my mind.

“Little ones to Him belong.” Yes, that’s me. I’m a little one. I belong to Jesus. “They are weak but He is strong.” I am little and can’t do very much, But He – That’s Jesus – He can help me. He is strong enough to look after me. A tremendous happiness came over me. I had to tell Mother. I swung around and dashed back into the house letting the screen door slam behind me. My mother was standing beside the kitchen table washing dishes.

“I know what this song means,” I gushed in childish exuberance. “It’s about me.” As I poured out to her my understanding of the song, she turned to look at me, her hands still submerged in the dishwater.

“That’s right,” she said, “That is what it means.” She repeated the words of the song. “That is very important. You must never forget that,” she emphasized. I walked out of the kitchen and through the back porch repeating her words to myself. “That is very important. I must never forget that.”

I never have forgotten. That truth has remained impressed on my mind ever since. Although I had not consciously thought of that momentous moment over the years, it surfaced again in my memory with great clarity when I started recording my childhood memories.

The words of that song first appeared in a novel entitled “Say and Seal,” written by two sisters, Susan and Anna Warner in 1860. In the story, a friend carries a feverish boy around the room. The child asks him to sing. Instead of using a familiar song, Anna wrote the words for a new hymn with special application for the deathly sick boy. The next year William Bradbury, a composer of children’s music, wrote the tune and added the chorus.

Recently I came across a new version of that song, written by Peter Dyck of Warman, Sask. The song begins: Jesus loves me, this I know, Tho’ my hair is white as snow. Tho’ my eyes are growing dim, He still bids me follow Him.”

God has promised, I will be your God through all your lifetime, yes, even when your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you. I will carry you along and be your Savior (Isaiah 46:4 LB).

How precious to know that the same Jesus who loved me and protected me as a child loves me now and will continue to be with me, loving me, protecting me, and leading me to ever-higher heights with Him in my senior years.

My Writing Testimony - Payne

In the year 2000, God called my husband and me to Orillia, Ontario. I sold my home and my business and Bob left his job and sold his cottage. We bought a home in a town where we had no family and no friends and started a new life.

This was the first time that I ever stayed home with my children full-time. I worked when they were young and then started my own business when my oldest child started school. But in Orillia, I was home all day, everyday.

Being a social person, I sought out other women and ended up attending a Women’s CARE Group at the Christian Reformed Church. It was there that I gave my heart to Jesus and began my personal relationship with the Lord.

At home, I took to reading and studying Christian books. I enjoyed such classics as Hannah Whitall Smith’s The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life, Josh McDowell’s More than a Carpenter, Catherine Marshall’s Something More and The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge.

By following the advice of Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way, I began to journal a minimum of three pages each morning. They were called, quite appropriately, Morning Pages. Through this process, I wrote about my fears, anxieties, observations and lessons learned as a new Christian. At first, my writing was between God and me. He revealed things to me that I never would have been open to receiving any other way. I remember the day when I was having a “discussion” with God about what my call in life was and He responded, “to write”. He told me to write to bring people closer to Him.

Since that day I try very hard not to miss a morning without writing my morning pages. I share my walk of faith with others through my weekly column, Today’s Faith, in the Millbrook Times. God has done so much for me in my life, writing a book – Fit for Faith, and writing regular Christian articles are just some ways I can be obedient to His call in my life and bring others closer to Him.

What's your writing testimony?