God's Open Doors by Carol Harrison

I am a writer, a speaker, and a storyteller but I never planned for those to be part of my life. God had other ideas. His plans and mine didn’t match up. As I look back, I can see His leading even when I stubbornly insisted, I wasn’t a writer and there’s no way I could speak or teach anyone but young children. Teenagers terrified me and adults – well what did I know to teach them or so I thought.

God nudged me out of that comfort zone a little bit at a time. Even when I felt inadequate as a young wife and mother to substitute in an adult Sunday School class, I found out begging God and tears didn’t get me out of the assignment. He just promised to be there with me and He was.

Writing had been put in the back of the closet and buried where no one else could read it or even know I had enjoyed it at one time. I convinced myself I couldn’t write, shouldn’t write, and so why bother even talking or thinking about it anymore. Yet the pen and paper beckoned me. I journaled for myself with no plans to allow anything I wrote to be read by others. But God had other plans with that aspect of my life as well.

Years after reluctantly teaching that adult Sunday School class, the pastor’s wife of the church we then attended asked me to lead a mid-week ladies Bible study group at the church. She felt confident I was the person for the job. I think she had enough confidence for both of us as I hesitantly said yes. I enjoyed the study times and became more comfortable with that small group of ladies. God put a love for women’s ministry into my heart. But I found out God wasn’t done moving me out of that box I had built for myself and gave another little nudge in the direction He wanted me to go.

I accepted an invitation to speak at a ladies ‘retreat. I knew no one. I had lots of time to study and God spoke to me through that preparation time. While I spoke at the second session, the Holy Spirit spoke so audibly to me, I felt like everyone in the room must have heard. He asked me to change my illustration and gave me the one to share. I didn’t want to change those carefully laid plans made during all the study time but I finally did. I felt vulnerable with the new illustration and yet several women approached me after to let me know if was where they were at too.

As I prepared for the evening session, the Holy Spirit spoke again. Another illustration change to my carefully crafted presentation which would leave me feeling even more vulnerable. Praying didn’t change the sense of urgency to obey. The next day a young woman came with tears streaming down her face. After I prayed with her trusting God knew her burdens, she found her voice. Through more sobs she thanked me for sharing the illustration from the night before about how God brought people into my life when I struggled with depression. 

Then she said, "I didn't think any other Christian woman ever had to go through this. I felt alone and didn't know where to go, who to talk to, or what to do."

What if I hadn't listened to that nudge, that direction from the Holy Spirit. God used that to affirm I needed to trust Him even when the plans I had didn't line up with ones He urged me toward.

A few months later, another pastor’s wife asked me about speaking at camp. Children’s ministry. How did this fit in with the love God had awakened in my heart for women’s ministry? I didn’t know or understand but I went and spoke to campers aged nine to twelve years. The cabin leaders were teenagers. God placed a love for camp ministry into my heart right along with women's ministry.

Next came the writing. I began to write again, learning all the things I had forgotten and more. Yet I needed to take the next step and share it with others. I asked God how all these things could possibly fit together. Women’s ministry, camp ministry, and writing made me feel like I must be missing something in God’s plan. Such a variety and yet everything I had listened to or read suggested to find your niche and stick with it.

Then I heard God’s voice again. “If I open the door, don’t look at the venue, the ages, or the size of the audience. Just walk through it. I’ll give you what you need for the task.”

God keeps expanding my comfort zone, showed me things He has gifted me to do, and asks for my obedience. He has given His Spirit to help accomplish the tasks He sets before me. I just need to hold my own plans loosely, show up and trust even when I know I'm still a work in progress.

 

 

Carol Harrison loves to hang out with her family and friends when she isn't writing, editing, playing with paper crafting and waiting for God to reveal the next open door to share stories and the good news of the gospel. 

 

 

No Longer a Reluctant Writer - Carol Harrison

As I thought about this month's post of celebrating what God has and is doing with my writing, the first thing that popped into my mind was how God has allowed me to move beyond calling myself a reluctant writer. It has been a huge work in progress and He continues to work on my attitude and willingness to be a good steward of the abilities and gifts He has given me.

Reluctant writer. These two words popped into my head and out of my mouth whenever I talked about my writing. They described how I felt about being a writer for I had begun to do it kicking and screaming - well at least shedding numerous tears as I started to obey God's direction to tell the story of our youngest daughter.

I felt inadequate. For decades I stuffed any enjoyment I once had about writing deep inside because of  several comments that I took as negative. Looking back I realize I should have shared them with someone else and discovered what they really meant. I questioned how could I begin writing in my fifties. Basic writing skills faded over the years with disuse. Could they be refreshed and improved? The ugly four letter word 'fear' crept into my thinking. Fear of failure, fear of misunderstanding God's direction about telling the story and fear of beginning to write again at this stage of my life.

I began to write but the words did not flow. I knew the story but could not translate it into words on a page without getting stuck. Yet God provided help in the form of other Christian writers and the journey progressed. 

My grandson challenged me one day when he said, "Grandma calling yourself a reluctant writer is too negative!" These words made me rethink my description of myself since I thought of it as being honest and never contemplated any negativity it conveyed.

I asked God to help me drop this self-imposed label and to give me courage to tell stories of amazing things and wonders God has done in my life and in the world around. He kept bringing to mind verses and passages from the Bible where he reminded and commanded the children of Israel to tell the next generation so people would remember God's working in their lives.

Psalm 78:1-4 says, "O my people, hear my teaching, listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my moth in parables. I will utter hidden things, things from of old- what we have heard and know, what our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power and the wonders he has done."

Psalm 105: 1-5 was another passage God kept sending me back to. "Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. sing to him, sing praise to him, tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name, let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength, seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced."

Then I read Psalm 71:17, 18 and it gave me the affirmation that we are never too old to tell the stories of all that God has done. "Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come."

Now I no longer call myself the reluctant writer even though the negative thoughts still invade my
mind and threaten to colour my world. Instead I get excited to share the stories with others, often verbally, but I do write down the thoughts and lessons God teaches me through everyday events. Now instead of them hiding on my computer, I share them with family and friends. I write family stories which include fun happenings but also times of testing and strengthening my faith. I have begun to be a good steward of the gift of storytelling God has given me.

Over that last dozen years of this writing journey, God has gifted me with wonderful people to offer encouragement, helpful mentors who critique, mentor, and encourage as well as the community of Christian writers in Inscribe. Through God's working in my life, these verses from the Bible and the people he has sent into my life I have moved from reluctant writer to excited to be a storyteller even when I am old and gray. The best way for me to celebrate this change of label is to thank those who have encouraged me along the way and keep on telling stories.

As a speaker, published author and storyteller, Carol Harrison is passionate about mentoring people of all ages and abilities to help them find their voice and reach their fullest potential. She shares from her heart, telling stories from real life experiences and God’s Word to encourage people and help them find a glimmer of hope no matter what the circumstances. She makes her home is Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada.