S is for Self-Examination by Susan Barclay

 

A few years ago, I took an in-person writing course on spiritual autobiography. While it was fascinating both to explore many examples, concepts, and tools, one thing that stood out is the requirement of self-examination. To write one's spiritual autobiography, the writer needs to look closely at herself in "the mirror," reflecting on the transformational events in her life that have shaped her.

One of the authors whose works we considered in this course is David G. Benner.* In his book The Gift of Being Yourself: the Sacred Call to Self-Discovery, he says,

Christian spirituality involves a transformation of the self that occurs only when God and self are both deeply known. Both, therefore, have an important place in Christian spirituality. There is no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self, and no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God. John Calvin wrote, “Nearly the whole of sacred doctrine consists in these two parts: knowledge of God and of ourselves.

Benner warns that

Unless we spend as much time looking at God as we spend looking at our self, our knowing of our self will simply draw us further and further into an abyss of self-fixation.

I think we can agree that we see all around us today the effects of self-absorption, selfishness, and navel-gazing, in societies that have become more hostile to the things of God and to an awareness of God. That's a post (perhaps) for another day.

But what are the benefits of self-examination for writers, whether or not we are writing spiritual autobiography? Why is it important to have a strong sense of who we are? I think there are a few reasons.

God has a plan and a purpose for each of our lives, to give us a hope and a future (ref Jeremiah 29:11). When we work from a place of understanding who we are in Him, and know that we're in the centre of His will, it gives us courage and strength to go where He leads us because we know that we are working alongside of Him and He is with us (ref Joshua 1:9). 

Having a strong sense of who we are also: 

- helps us to determine what we are meant to write.

- helps us know why we are the ones best positioned to write this particular story, book, poem, devotional, or article.

- helps us know who our audience is, whether we are writing for seniors, adults, teens, or children.

- provides a framework for writing in a way best suited to us: using pen and paper or a computer; working in a noisy or quiet atmosphere; writing to the sounds of nature, classical music, or pop; writing in the wee hours of the morning or late into the night; working in a coffee shop, home office, library, sunroom, or kitchen.

“We do not find our true self by seeking it. Rather, we find it by seeking God.” (Benner)

How well you know God determines how well you know yourself. Are you seeking (spending time with) Him each day? Do you know if you're stewarding your gifts well? What can you do today to get to know Him and yourself better? 

 

[*For the record, I don't necessarily endorse Benner's contemporary work. He has gone further into mysticism than I am personally comfortable with...]

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For more about Susan Barclay and her writing, please visit www.susan-barclay.blogspot.com.

From "Hosanna" to "He is Risen" by Marnie Pohlmann

Easter, the Christian celebration from "Hosanna" to "He is risen. He is risen indeed," has been over for more than a week now.

For some, the Easter period began with Lent, a time of sacrifice and contemplation about what Jesus' sacrifice means to us. This tradition is an opportunity for us to examine ourselves and our need of a Saviour. Did you give up something for Lent and use the time to examine your life and your relationship with God?

After Lent comes Holy Week. I read an Easter blog at www.biblegateway.com in which the writer used passages from the Gospels to explain the events leading through this week to the resurrection we celebrate.

Sunday - The triumphal entry, celebrating Jesus as the Messiah, come to save the people. “Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest!”

Monday/Tuesday - Jesus challenged the money changers and taught Scripture at the Temple.

Wednesday - Judas is tempted and chose to reject Jesus' way by conspiring to force his own version of the future.

Thursday - Jesus and the disciples gathered for the Passover Meal, now known as the last supper. Jesus washed feet like a servant would. Jesus declared Himself the bread and the blood. Jesus and the disciples went to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray together, but Jesus prayed alone through struggles to submission.

Friday - Betrayal, accusation, abandonment, judgment, “Crucify him,” death among thieves, “It is finished,” earthquake, burial.

Saturday - Silence and fear.

Sunday - The resurrection. New life. “He is risen. He is risen indeed!”

And Easter is complete.

We go back to work, or school, or our families. We continue to gather at church services once a week to sing worship songs.

As I looked at this week of events, I realized that if I missed contemplating my relationship with God through the time of Lent, or wished to continue that self-examination, here was another opportunity. I could take the events of each Holy Week day to ask questions about my own walk with Christ.

Sunday – Celebrating Jesus as King.

Am I following God to enjoy the good life of celebrations or am I a follower on the good days AND the bad days? Am I a Sunday-only Christian or is Christianity my way of life?

Monday/Tuesday – Money changers. Teaching at the Temple.

What does where I spend my money say about me? Does it show I am committed to God or that I am swayed by other things? These things may not be bad in themselves, and may be different for each person, but what are my priorities?

Am I learning and practicing what Scripture tells me? Am I gathering with other believers to ask questions, discuss Scripture, and test my beliefs?

Wednesday – Conspiracy.

Do I know God or am I making God be who I want Him to be, taking the parts I want but rejecting the parts of God I am uncomfortable with? Am I following God or asking God to follow me in my desires? Do I make decisions first then ask for blessing and forgiveness, rather than trusting God to guide my life?

Thursday – Passover Feast.

Am I gathering with other believers? Am I serving them and serving with them, or only expecting them to serve me?

Do I pray intimately with them or do I fall asleep?

Do I take my own struggles to God and submit to His way?

Friday – Betrayal, accusation, abandonment, judgment, death.

When troubles come, do I stand true - even in times that hurt? Am I willing to suffer pain, abandonment, and rejection to follow God through to the end of this life?

Saturday – Silence and fear.

Do I trust God in the silence or do I hide in fear? Do I wait in anticipation for His promises to be fulfilled in His time?

Sunday – He is risen!

Am I living in this physical time as though eternity and the Kingdom of God are at hand? What do I really believe about the resurrection? 

Without restored life, I remain lost. Christ's death and resurrection for our salvation has been accomplished, but our own part in the Kingdom of God is not finished. Christ is risen! How do we answer these questions presented by the events of Holy Week?

Am I a Palm Sunday “Hosanna” Christian?
Am I a “Crucify him” Christian, depending on who I am with?
Do I believe only to the point of the crucifixion death?
Am I believer in “He is risen. He is risen indeed” and do I live like I believe this?

Easter, the Christian celebration from "Hosanna" to "He is risen. He is risen indeed," has been over for more than a week now. Will the choices I make in response to this Christian season continue in my life as a testimony to the redemption given by the living God?

*photos courtesy of Pixabay.com, CCO Licence

Marnie Pohlmann writes from the beautiful northern town of Taylor, BC. Read how she responds to the risen Saviour on her blog, Phosphorescent.