Faced with a Moment by Susan Barclay

There are defining moments and experiences in all of our lives. Such events determine or set us on our course. Some are completely of our control, things that happen even when we are in the womb; others stem from the way we process things or from choices we make in response to circumstances or desires. They can lead us down good paths or very detrimental ones. Either way, we can describe them as pivotal.

One day when I was a child my mom was angry with me for being careless. I had tripped over the cord of my grandmother's hand mixer and brought the mixer crashing to the floor. My mom yelled and her words pierced my soul. Sobbing in the bathroom, I decided in my 9-year-old heart never to let anyone wound me so deeply again. I sealed myself up and steeled myself against hurt. It was years before I allowed myself another good cry. To this day I struggle to be in touch with my feelings.

The things that happen in childhood are powerful. I once read somewhere that children are excellent observers but terrible interpreters. It's true, I think. If the incident I described had happened when I was more mature, I might have told myself, "She's probably having a bad day. Being a single parent isn't easy; she doesn't mean it--she just needs help" or "She's doing the best she can with what she's been given and what she knows." I might have done what I could to assist her in what she was doing or simply gotten out of her way until her mood passed.

I remember breaking up with my first long-term boyfriend as a young adult. In my late 20s, I was eager to be married and start a family. I said to myself, "I'm getting married next year." No matter what was the subtext. I was a believer and had also decided that I was going to be myself with the next guy and not twist myself into a pretzel to be what I thought he might want. That second part was fine, of course, but being a Christ-follower, I should have had the mind of Christ and His approach: doing nothing of my own accord but seeking God's will (ref John 5:30). Instead, it was a defining moment as I set out with a goal of finding a husband. Thanks to Him, and not to me, things worked out so that I married a good man who seeks after righteousness, and we're still happy together after more than twenty-five years, but my life could have gone very sideways.

The mind is a powerful force. What we focus on matters. Where we let our thoughts travel is significant. The power of life and death are in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) but what comes out of our mouths or shows in our behaviour first enters our minds. That's why Paul tells us in Philippians 4:8, "Fix your thoughts on what is true and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable." Scripture also advises us to think of others rather than ourselves and not to be selfish (Philippians 2:3). Knowing God's plans for us are for good and not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11) can help us to wait on His timing and trust He will provide what is best for us rather than take things into our own hands.

Moving on to defining writing moments, I remember being encouraged by my mother and teachers for my writing ability. I remember the publication of my first "book," a laminated and spiral bound collection of stories from my grandmother's childhood. Written in grade 6, it was added to the school library and borrowed by several children before I progressed out of the school and into junior high. It felt good to have a reading audience and to be asked questions about my work, and was no doubt influential on my desire to continue sharing stories with others. Teachers in junior and senior high school were also supportive and affirming--except for that one who told our entire creative writing class that we should consider a trade. Plumbing was respectable, said he! (Well, it is, but that's not what we wanted to hear).

9/11 was a defining moment in my "writing career" as well. Thinking about all those who lost their lives and recognizing the brevity of life made me ask if I was living the life I desired. I was working full-time as a librarian in a public library setting, which meant shiftwork and time away from my young children in the evenings and on weekends. I hadn't done anything really with what I felt was a gift from God: my writing fluency. If my life were to end right then, would He be happy with me? I discussed it with my husband and we decided to move an hour away from where we lived, where housing was more affordable, I could quit work, be home for my family, and write. 

It's true what they say about not quitting your day job. While I've had a few stories published and made a few dollars, if we'd been depending on me for an income, we'd be on the streets. After three years of being home full-time, I took a part-time job as a librarian in my new community. It works well for us and our children are now grown. But I do sometimes wonder if we made the right call. Though we've met some wonderful people here, we've also gone through some hard times. Would we have been better off staying where we were? Only God knows.

And that's the thing, isn't it? God knows what is best for us but sometimes we go off half-cocked, acting impulsively or according to our feelings, rather than consulting Him, reading the Word, seeking counsel from godly people in our lives. I'm not saying my husband and I did this with respect to our move, you understand; I'm talking more generally. I tend to be someone who does my homework, who is cautious in decision-making, rather risk-averse, stability-seeking. But I can still make mistakes. I can decide to wall up my heart so no one can hurt me, pursue my own desires without seeking God's will, and put the cart before the horse, thinking I'm doing a good thing.

If I could give anyone a piece of advice, it would be this from Lamentations 3:25-26: 

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. (The Message)

When you recognize a pivotal moment, stop, fix your eyes on the One who knows you, loves you, and has good plans for you. Ask what He says and wait patiently on His answer. He will never steer you wrong.

__________________________

For more about Susan Barclay and her writing, please visit www.susan-barclay.blogspot.com

Our Third Annual Move by Sharon Espeseth

Janis Cox, in the beginning of her book The Kingdom of Thrim, quotes, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (Thessalonians 5:16-18)

This is what my husband Hank and I have been trying to do. You may not understand until the end of this blog what the saga of our third annual move has to do with this month's topic or Janis's book. I beg your patience.

Give thanks in all circumstances

In July 2014, we sold our house--the one we planned, had constructed, finished to our exact dreams and specifications, and paid for. Although our dream house wasn't a mansion, it was beautiful beyond anything either of us, having come from humble homestead beginnings, could have ever imagined.

Our youngest grandchild reading on the steps

We lived in our house for fourteen years. Our two daughters were married during this time period and  our six grand- children were born while we lived there. Memories lived in every corner of our house.






As seniors, looking after our home both inside and outside was taking up more of our time. When Hank first mentioned moving, I wasn't ready. Then it dawned on me that downsizing would allow me more time for reading, writing, and living.

Our first move was unsuccessful as we took on a care-taking role of the property for a landlord who had different standards and was overseas half the year. We wanted the place to look like our home. Our landlord didn't mind our upgrades, as long as it didn't cost him anything. We had taken on more work than we had in our own home.

Our second move, one year later, was to half a duplex where we discovered we had downsized too much. The second bedroom became my office only, with no room for overnight guests. Big mistake. This room wasn't even adequate for my downsized files, books, and writing paraphernalia. Still another move looked ridiculous and out of the question.

Then we saw an intriguing ad in our local paper for another duplex with more square feet, a deck we could actually sit on, a raised garden, a second bedroom and a yard beautifully landscaped without grass to cut. Hmm! Something or Somebody told us to check this out.

We fell in love with it. We could envision ourselves living there. We called our kids. They helped us move again. We are so thankful for this house and for our three adult kids and our two sons-in-law, who all pitched in.








The basement has a finished floor. The walls are only gyproc. Our kids started moving back wall units and furniture we had given them, but could use in this extra space. We have right-sized our living space, and you should see the space I have for my office. We have an extra bed downstairs so the family or other guests can stay over.

Hank loves the raised garden, which is also the right size for him.

With a nudge from God, we believe, we took a chance--a big step with moving a third time in three years--and it is working well. We feel content like Yoj in Janis's book. You may have to read her book to see how Hank and I have moved back from Shadowland to our "Kingdom of Thrim." We rejoice in what we have come through and in our present situation. We pray and give thanks that the discontent leading us here was only temporary. We believe God has led us through Shadowland to our blessed home. With God's help and support from our kids, we believe we are where we are supposed to be.

I love my downstairs office with its big windows and ample space. I believe this room in our house in God's kingdom will allow me to create. Moving here was my/our most recent big step.

I am especially, and continually, thankful to God for my husband, family, and my joy in writing.

Taken on our 40th Anniversary.
This month we celebrated our 41st
Anniversary living in our new home.

The Up Side of Being Down by Sharon Espeseth

Jesus is in the storm.

My writing buddy and I are writing at Thunder Lake's edge. A slight wind is ruffling the waters and rippling the leaves. Looking across the waters, I see the well-treed area across the lake, the nearer jut of trees that hide the boat dock, and the overhang of trees beside our picnic/writing table. Ground shrubs complete a visual frame of the lake.

Looking down I see my journal, files for my work-in-progress, my thermos mug, and the dark shadow of my borrowed hat. This straw chapeau is full of holes that dance and flit like the ideas flickering in and out of focus in my mind. The sun's rays are soaking into, and healing, my formerly aching back--a memento of a month of moving.

Life has been crazy these past few months. Okay, make that a year. . . The seas have been rough and our boat, Hank's and my boat, has been tossed around like a toy boat in a lively toddler's tub. To back up my thoughts, the breeze has momentarily become a wind and a plane is noisily flying overhead.

Contrast this roughness with the peacefulness of this particular morning. I am learning more and more that Jesus is in my boat, in our boat. We can wake him any time and he will say to the storm, "Peace be still." Peace and quiet returns, maybe not always as quickly as we would like, but it comes.

Weeping may stay for the night. 

Call it an error in judgment. Or call it a lesson learned.

Last June we sold our special, personally designed home. As much as we loved the place, we decided it was too much house, too much garden, and too much lawn for our aging bodies. Our move included downsizing, selling antiques, and getting our home ready for the new owners. At the same time, we were working at our "new place" to make it more suitable to live in.

We had agreed to a rental-caretaking situation, as our landlord would be overseas for half the year. Alas, we had taken on more work than we had before. Good circumstances or not, we felt compelled to keep our commitment for at least one year.

It was a challenging year in many ways with health problems for Hank, illness and other issues in our larger family, and a bout of depression for me after nine years of feeling well. Our living arrangements added to our stress.

I give you all the credit, God--you got (us) out of that mess. (The Message--Psalm 30:1a)

Maya Angelou says, "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them." To this I would add, We may have problems that seem insurmountable at the time, but we do have a majestic and wonderful God who can help us overcome waves of any size or help us live with the episodes of life that arise.

This past year we sometimes felt, "We (were) hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." (2 Corinthians 4:8) Oh, but there were moments of despair.

But joy comes in the morning.

Thanks to Our Motley Movers!

In the spring, we started looking for a home more our style. We are now living in half a duplex that is two years old and in good shape. We did more downsizing and our adult kids, sons-in-law, and a couple of their friends moved us. Each one did what he or she was able to do. Hank was in the hospital for the last stage of this move.

Although not all our boxes are emptied, this feels like home already. We are ecstatic to find a home that is more to our liking and easier to care for. We are thankful for all the prayers, emotional support, and physical help we received during this past year. God is good. Our friends are too.

Bobbi Junior, for one, sent me the following from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. "Praise be to the God . . . of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." That may be one of my writing topics.

For the summer, I hope to write at the lake, at my new desk, or in the shade on the front step. I also have a stack of books I'd like to read and reading is also a writerly activity, so with joy I carry on.

A Joyful Jumble of Writing

Oh, and did I mention learning more about my Canon Rebel T31 and manipulating photos online?

For further joyful experience, I'd like to spend time with our kids and grandkids. To see our GKs, you will have to look on my fb page.

Writing Outside the Boxes by Sharon Espeseth

Last month, when we were too busy downsizing and preparing for a move to a smaller rental property, I just wrote from the heart, as our moderator suggested. That was the only way I could meet my blog due date. I made no attempt to follow the month's theme.

One corner of my new office

This month I'd planned to be on theme, but having squished ourselves into our new home ten days ago, I have no idea where Brenda's guidelines might be. Skipping through the last few days' blogs, I discover the theme is something about writing outside the box. What an amazing coincidence. I am writing outside not just the box, but outside many boxes.

Hank and I have faced many challenges and several not so enjoyable surprises in our new home. We have scrubbed and fixed more than we expected, and we've tried to turn a dandelion patch with rocks and thistle into a recognizable grass format. The neighbours are pleased.

Although Hank and I have shared our treasures and furnishings with our kids and organized antiques and household items for an auction, we still still seem to have too much stuff for the size of our present home. Downsizing our household workload now seems to be a laughable dream. Instead we are renting more work to bring this place more in line with our way of doing things.

We question our decision, but we know we can't go back to the dream house we designed and had built. Instead of whining and second guessing, I am going to continue my blog with a note of gratitude. Moving was our own decision, so what we do from here is up to us. We haven't been forced out of our lovely home by flood, fire, poverty or war. We were not left to move on our own. Our family and friends worked with us. Those who couldn't physically help prayed for us, as they knew we were struggling.

Our daughters and their husbands came several weekends to help before we moved. Son-in-law Donnie installed a central vacuum system and helped with many fixing jobs in our new home. Son-in-law Rob drove from Leduc to Medicine Hat to borrow his brother's trailer. Then these fellows lugged big pieces of furniture up and down stairs. Hank and I had made many loads of boxes and smaller things with our van, but it appeared we had only scratched the surface. Christie and Jenny cleaned and hauled and encouraged us in every way. Last week the crew was here for three days. We are so thankful for their loving support.

Empties are good news!

Although our house presently looks like hoarders live here, we've put out a lot of empty boxes and our

possessions are gradually finding suitable places. We do have a home and we'll make this work, or else the kids say they'll come and move us again. Foxes have homes and the birds have nests, but the Son of Man had nowhere to rest his head. We have a roof over our heads and a good bed to sleep on. Thanks be to God.

Some days we feel uncertain about what is best for us in the future, but we do know the One who holds the future, so surely He will guide us through this wilderness of boxes and uncertainty. In the beginning of time, God made order out of chaos. With His help, we hope to do the same. I praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Soon I'll be writing about something other than downsizing and moving. Just you wait and see! Living and writing outside the boxes, I want to express thanks to God for our faith, family and friends, and for my forever husband, helper and friend, Hank.

God's Grace Is Sufficient by Sharon Espeseth

My husband and I are seriously downsizing. Both Hank and I have come from humble, homesteader beginnings. I could show you the houses we each lived in when we were young, but it would take time to find and scan the right photos. Since time is in short supply, I will forgo the images and let you imagine our little houses on the prairie. No yard light, because we had no electricity. You will see the outdoor toilet in the background.

We both worked hard during our single and married years. I was a teacher and Hank was a business man plus a Hank of all trades. We raised three kids. Then in 2000, just before the grandchildren started coming, we designed and contracted for the building of our dream home. Lovingly, we chose the colours, flooring, cupboards, and if I do say so myself, it turned out well. Ours is a comfortable place, a good place for entertaining family and friends. 

During this past fourteen years, our two daughters were married and our six grandchildren were born. This is the only house our young ones know as Papa and Nana's house. Hank and I decided some months ago that it would be better for us to give up some of our earthly possessions and find a smaller place to live. I'll spare you the details, but those of you who've downsized will understand that it's an operation easier said than executed.

Treasures: Papa and Lacey

Discouragement enters the picture and we sometimes ask, "What were we thinking?" But we both know we've gone too far to turn back, and we also know that the new owners wouldn't appreciate our staying here, so we forge ahead. We've packed up antiques for a sale. Our kids will get some of the furniture and family treasures they are attached to. Life will go on.

Last night I agonized over some of my family and teaching treasures--cards and letters from students and parents--and special e-mails from loved ones. A serious amount of this had to go. Today I'll tackle my writing files, another tough job. I may need to reread Marcia Laycock's devotional, "A Pack-rat's Epiphany," from her book Abundant Rain. Here she laughs at herself for keeping a hand-written, musty-smelling, mouse-chewed draft of her first book-length manuscript. Marcia also quotes the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:19-21 where he reminds us to store up our treasures in heaven rather than on earth, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

In the midst of my muddle, I was following the renewed debate on abortion laws, or the lack thereof, in Canada, and I felt called to write on this topic. I asked a few friends, including a few InScribers for prayer support as I grappled with the topic. God granted me the grace and focus to research and write on this vital topic, even though I was limited to short time frames. It's gone to a publisher, but I need to follow up today. Would you please pray that I find a suitable publishing home for this story?

With apologies, I admit I've had to cut out reading and commenting on InScribe blogs this month. I miss this part of my day, so I will definitely get back to reading all of you when we get more settled. 

Togetherness in tough times and in good times

I am thankful that our downsizing has not been due to a financial crisis, an earthquake, or flood. It is a decision we made ourselves. We've put our hand to the plow and we cannot look back, but we know God's grace is sufficient for us. We are also fortunate that we as a couple can accomplish this feat together.