M is for Memoir ~ by Wendy L. Macdonald

 

Writing a memoir is both easy and difficult. 

My favorite genre to read is memoir. Like a novel, it’s a story. Unlike formula fiction, it’s rarely predictable. The journey is usually full of surprises. Things often happen that are too strange for any other genre. Those readers would say, “Yeah, right,” and toss the book across the room. 

With memoir, the crazier the plot, the more engaged fans become.

For older authors—like me—it’s often easier to write memoir than fiction because we don’t have to remember details about what our characters did several chapters ago. It’s all recorded in our memory. (Unless the writer isn’t telling the truth.) Truth is critical in a memoir. And besides, if you tell the truth, you never need to remember what you said. It’s scandalous when a memoirist lies. (It’s okay to have a disclaimer at the beginning of the book letting readers know you changed some details to protect the identity of others.)

While writing my recovery memoir, I discovered an intriguing pattern I hadn’t noticed before getting those years down on paper. Putting our stories in a Word Doc grants us a bird’s eye view we may otherwise have missed.

God’s loving control becomes more evident when we comb our experiences for nuggets of wisdom and hope. 

Now for the difficult part of writing a memoir:

Since I’m a nobody in the eyes of the publishing world, I need to self-publish my memoir if I want it to be read by people other than my critique partners. Even that was challenging. Seeing their empathy regarding some hurtful events awakened grief in me. Any denial that I had regarding past pain was obliterated by their compassion. I left the group because I feared the intensity of my own feelings. I felt like a betrayer of my family’s secrets. Obviously, it wasn’t time for this story to be revealed yet. 

Sometimes we need to wait until the challenging people from our past are safely tucked away.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean denial. But it does mean we shouldn’t cause harm to those who hurt us. And unless we’re nudged by God to press charges, we need to let go and trust He who numbered our tears. 

And we need to pray for people who were enemies in our past. We’ve been forgiven of much. And we’re also called to forgive much. 

Since setting the editing of my recovery memoir aside, God healed much more of my heart. Compassion for my abusers has replaced the fear that used to well up whenever I thought of them.

Time plus God’s grace heals old wounds. 

When I read a memoir written by someone who is obviously not bitter or fearful about their past, it’s a pleasure. Readers must not be overwhelmed by a memoir. The book should inspire them to consider the amazing way God’s grace can rescue and heal us when we’re down. Although some memoirs document a hard life, a spiritual memoir that inspires us to press into the softness of God’s hands is always a good read.

This is how believers can be honest about their difficult past and bless readers in the present.  

What recent memoir have you found inspiring?

Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14 (NIV)

Wendy L. Macdonald is an inspirational blogger and podcaster who loves to photograph nature on Vancouver Island. Her byline is: “My faith is not shallow because I’ve been rescued from the deep.” 

Let's Talk Books (The Accidental Memoir) by Brenda Leyland

The Accidental Memoir

The Remarkable Way to Write Your Life Story

____________________

Authors: Eve Makis & Anthony Cropper

Publisher: 4th Estate, Imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers, London, UK, 2018 edition

Length: 128 pages

Hardcover Only: $20.47 Cdn | Shipped from UK via Amazon

Subject: writing guide | memoir writing | self-discovery

"That’s the beauty of writing about personal experiences:

With the right encouragement, everyone can do it.

Everyone is an expert of their own life."

Eve Makis, from her article on Lithub.com, May 6, 2019

Here's an interesting book you might want for your memoir writing tool kit. Whether you are thinking about gathering your own memories or know someone who needs to tell his or her story but doesn't know where to begin, The Accidental Memoir might be the tool to get you started. I was drawn to the book when I read Eve Makis's heartwarming story of how she encouraged her aging dad, a reserved and non-talkative man, to write down some of his stories—she knew little of his life. One Christmas she created a simple notebook with 'bespoke' prompts she hoped would trigger his memories and motivate him to write them down. At first, Eve says, he was underwhelmed by her gift (that probably would have been my dad, too), but from his eyes she knew he liked it. A month later he came to her house with notebook in hand; pages had been filled in; memories were flowing.

Eve's notebook idea was later developed "as an Arts Council project to help people tap into their own lives. Working with diverse groups from refugees to the elderly and prisoners, it has been a resounding success in unearthing stories that otherwise may never have been told." So says the online product description.

The book provides a great way to capture bits and pieces of your history. The prompts and accompanying illustrations are imaginative, with space to jot down a few thoughts. Filled in, the book itself can be a keepsake. Or it can be used as a reference when fleshing out more in-depth essays and memoir pieces. With dozens of engaging prompts, who knows what powerful insights you will capture once you begin.

To give you an idea, here are two samples I filled in:

"Write about a time when someone left home. A sibling, child, a parent or partner. What effect did it have on you?"  I was the oldest and it was me who left home first. At the time, I didn't realize the impact it had on my family. Then my mom told me how much she missed me when I went away to college and how she'd go to the post office, sometimes a couple times a day, during a mail strike, hoping against hope that maybe mail still got through. I'll never forget how homesick I was but, in truth, I hadn't really considered how much she missed me or how odd the empty chair at the table must have felt to my little family. This prompt gave me pause to reflect on their perspective as well.

The second example, well, take a look at the page above. The prompt says, "On the opposite page draw a map of where you lived as a child. Annotate. Add street names, neighbours, play areas, local shops...". I wrote a few lines about growing up on our small farm in northerly Alberta. As I penciled in my little map, how the memories floated up. Our farm, and our neighbours' farms, one to the south and one adjoining to the west, made it easy to meet up with playmates our age. The whole farm became our playground, and what fun we used to have—roaming fields and meadows, testing creek depths, climbing old rock piles, picking Saskatoon berries, whiling away long summer afternoons.

The book is co-authored by Eve Makis and Anthony Cropper. Both are successful authors in the UK. Eve worked as a journalist and radio presenter before becoming an award-winning novelist. Anthony writes novels, short stories, and his play won an award for Radio Drama. He teaches creative writing in the UK and abroad.

"When you've finished all the assignments, pull the

printed part of the book away and you'll be left with

a well-structured, evocative memoir."

Alexander Masters, Foreword, The Accidental Memoir

The Accidental Memoir can be used for anyone desiring to document their lives, leave a legacy, or relive some of those magic moments of the past.

Inspired by the beauty of God's world around her, Brenda Leyland happily writes from her home in northerly Alberta, Canada. She shares on her blog It's A Beautiful Life and Facebook page.

It Doesn't Hurt to Ask God by Wendy L. Macdonald

This month’s prompt unsettled me because the story that first came to mind is embarrassing to share. I strove to find a different one to tell. But nothing else as “extraordinary” appeared. You’ll see why in a moment.

I’m reserved in my style of worship. I rarely raise my hands in the air. But when I’m alone my exuberant worship style comes out of the closet and I dance up a storm while I praise the Lord. I’m also reserved about seeking or desiring signs and wonders. I attend a conservative church for this reason. This is where I’m the same at home as I am in public. I like things calm and predictable.

But God. God’s not predictable.

When I was in the throes and woes of infertility, I wanted to know if I was ever going to have a baby. It had been more than a decade of wondering when I pleaded for some sort of sign. I wanted to know if I should give up hope or not.

I’ve recorded the following incident in my journal; however, for the sake of brevity I’ll condense what happened.

After I begged for a word from God, I sensed His comforting Presence as I lay in the dark. It was a respite of peace in the midst of my turmoil. He knew about all the pregnancy tests I used over the decade of time my cycle was as irregular as the rugged BC coastline. He knew how heavy my heart sagged with grief each time my barren womb wept crimson. He knew. He cared. And now He loved on me because He’s always near to the brokenhearted.

Soon, a nudge prompted me to open my bible to Psalms. So, I did.

When I looked down at the first page I landed on, I spotted the word children. I couldn’t believe my eyes. First of all, I thought it was silly to flip open a bible like this. But the deed was already done. And now I needed to decide if it was a coincidence or not that the verse pertained to the subject of infertility.

He maketh the barren women to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord. Psalm 113:9 KJV

Even though I asked humbly, sincerely, and with the understanding that God didn’t owe me so much as a grunt in reply, I was amazed He seemed to have mercy on me. I was amazed that of all the verses in the bible, my eyes landed on what I craved to interpret as a promise.

Weeks later I again lay awake at night and asked, “Oh, Lord, was that verse a promise from You?”

I waited. The room was charged with His peace and His Presence.

“Count your toes?” I heard in my spirit.

That’s weird.

But then I thought of all the weird things God asked people to do in the bible.

Well, I didn’t need to count my toes. And besides, they’re snug as a bug under my covers. I already knew how many I had. I know from … oh … that’s it. I know from past experience. I know from past experience that when God speaks a word to me, He means it. His word is truth.

Three months later I did a shocked and stunned happy dance when a pregnancy test finally—at long last—had something positive to say.

What I’ve learned from that experience is it doesn’t hurt to humbly ask God with faith while remembering He is the Boss—the Good Boss. He doesn’t have to reply. But I do have a tendency to wait until I’m at the end of my fraying string of sanity. He knows a desperate lady when He hears one.

How has this impacted my writing? Well, I have an 80,000-word memoir manuscript about my recovery from eating disorders and about my infertility journey; it's hanging out in my Word Doc files. Even if I never publish it, it gave me a bird’s-eye view of what God can do when we believe: It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask God.

Hey, are you inspired to ask God to let you know what His plans are for you?

I am. And now I need to be brave and add this to my memoir story—now that I’ve gotten over the embarrassment.

Blessings ~ Wendy Mac

Writing from the Heart - Wendy L. Macdonald

    

I don’t remember many details from lectures and sermons I’ve heard; however, there’s one thing that always captures my attention enough for it to stay embedded in my heart and mind. But before I share that with you, let’s dig into the theme for February.

     How does my writing, blogging, and podcasting offer the hope and redemption of God? I’m a storyteller. Through fiction and memoir writing, I share the hope, healing, and comfort I’ve found in Jesus Christ. Years ago, the Lord delivered me from eating disorders; and as a result: 

My faith is not shallow because I’ve been rescued from the deep. 

  

     I tried—really tried—to rescue myself. But as a young adult, I turned away from my shallow faith and fell into deep darkness. If my faith had been well-rooted to begin with, I believe I wouldn’t have turned away from His Light. But turn away I did.

     I also walked through a dark decade of infertility. I know what it’s like to have hope dashed month after month, year after year. In my despair I eventually learned to trust God to comfort me and enable me to stop hiding my disappointment from Him, myself, and others.

     I’ve also recently uncovered a mystery from my past that I hope to share one day. For I received comfort and healing to believe I’m good enough under the blood of Christ despite abuse and neglect I suffered earlier in life. 

     Rescue and recovery are huge themes in my heart. And a few years ago, when I participated in a Beth Moore Bible study that centered on Isaiah 61:1, I realized afresh why this passion to preach recovery in Christ is strong in me; it’s because it’s foundational to God’s vision for us too.

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound.

 Isaiah 61:1 KJV

     If Jesus was anointed to preach Good News to the broken, then His followers are too, as it says in Ephesians 5:1-2 NIV:

Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

     In response to my from-the-heart memoir sharing, I’ve had people thank me for being honest—for being real. When we dare to write deep, it reaches readers’ hearts. Our vulnerability softens the spirit of the suffering and enables them to receive God’s healing touch at the core of their own brokenness. When we inspire others with our recovery story, they aspire to enter recovery too.

 

Our stories tells others with similar experiences they’re not alone.

    We shine His hope into their dark present when we expose our dark past. We were comforted so we’d point to the Comforter. We weren’t intended to simply stay comfortable; we are instructed to play the role of a compass directing others to the Source of healing. 

Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

 2 Corinthians 1:4 NIV

They won’t know if we don’t tell.

     And when we do tell a personal story, rather than just share a lecture, devotional, or sermon, it will stay with the listener for years to come. For as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, some things stick to the heart forever. 

Have you recently written about a time when God comforted you during a troubling season?

I’m nosy-to-know.  

Blessings ~ Wendy Mac   

Shimmering Images, A Review by Brenda Leyland

 Reviewed by Brenda Leyland

Shimmering Images
A Handy Little Guide to Writing Memoir
by Lisa Dale Norton
© 2008 St. Martin's Press, New York, NY

I first came across Shimmering Images a few years ago when I was at the library looking for books about memoir writing. I soon needed my own copy, as it was through this handy little guide by Lisa Dale Norton that I began to unravel the mystery of how to write a memoir.

Ms. Norton wrote this book because she kept meeting people who wanted to write personal stories but they didn't know how to begin. Shimmering Images tells you how -- how to turn your personal memories into memoir, one small step at a time, by using simple tools, including her secret tool, shimmering images.

A shimmering image is one of those memory pictures that just show up. It's a memory that remains vivid and 'pulsing with meaning' no matter how much time passes. Ms. Norton is convinced that "these images flitting into consciousness are stories waiting to happen". 

Norton believes the most successful memoir is written about periods of our lives that are further away in the 'mists of memory', allowing us the distance of time to make sense of events and experiences. She says, "in the world of written stories, the truths we present to readers ring most believable when they are fashioned to include new insights we couldn't see when events transpired."

Just for the record, the author also clarifies what memoir is and what it is not. For example, if you want to write a chronological overview of your entire life from "I was born" to the "here I am now" stage, that is autobiography. If, on the other hand, you want to write about personal experience -- one slim slice of your life story -- and explore its meaning and truth, that is memoir.

Ms. Norton writes in a stimulating, conversational style. The book is easily read, has just over 100 pages in length, with 20 short chapters. It's divided into three sections: The Ideas Behind the Process, The Process, and The Tools To Craft the Process. Lisa gives inspiration to the aspiring memoirist to sit down and begin typing, because now you know what to do with all those Shimmering Images that bubble up.

If your heart is calling you to write your personal stories, this is an excellent resource that will help you take your memories and turn them into rich, readable memoir.

In case you're not convinced yet that you need to read the book, check out these links:

Lisa reads excerpts from Shimmering Images.
Read the first three chapters of the book.
Check out Lisa's website for other info.

Brenda C Leyland, long-time InScribe member, enjoys writing on her blog It's A Beautiful Life. She is currently working on her first memoir with some personal tutoring from Lisa Dale Norton.

Trigger Those Memories -- Bruce Atchison

In my September 28th blog post, I mentioned how a course from Writers Weekly inspired me to write my memoirs. One of the most useful points mentioned in that course was how to use memory triggers.

We've all experienced how certain smells or sounds bring back childhood memories. It could be something as simple as the smell of autumn leaves or the taste of fruitcake. According to the course material, the sense of smell is the most evocative one we possess.

For me, songs often evoke strong memories. The ambience of the time I first heard a certain tune tends to be associated with it. For example, El Paso by Marty Robbins reminds me of being about three years old. My parents, Roy, Diane, and I were riding in Dad's powder blue Volkswagen on the way to one of Mom's relatives one warm summer afternoon. That song was playing on the radio as I watch the prairie scenery roll past the back seat car window. More than fifty years later, it still floods my mind with impressions and scenes.

This is a powerful technique we should use whenever we write about events in our lives or the lives of others. It helped me when I was writing Deliverance from Jericho: Six Years in a Blind School as well as my current memoir, How I Was Razed: A Journey from Cultism to Christianity. I recommend it highly.

I also post excerpts of my books on Bruce Atchison's books blog as well as at Wordpress. My hope is that people reading those blogs will want to buy my paperbacks.