Grief has a way of shaking up the protective structures we wisely build around our hearts.
If I’m completely honest, as I’ve mourned, I’ve failed a few times in keeping the safeguard strong around the centre of my being.
Discouragement has snuck in through the gaps.
Even worse, despair and bitterness have slipped between the cracks on occasion.
I don’t confess this gleefully or with pride. I know how very destructive these attitudes can be to a person’s heart.
Yet though I’ve allowed in worse than I should have, this awful time has reminded me that God can make something beautiful out of anything—even the shaken walls around our hearts.
Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (ESV).
We may be inclined to think this verse is suggesting that God moves nearer as our hearts break.
However, I find it hard to believe that our good and loving Father moves closer to us as we crumple over in suffering yet stands at a distance when the sun is gleaming, and the soft breezes of wellbeing kiss our lives.
Instead, I believe we can trust that our God and Saviour is always near to us, both through our too-short days of life’s brilliance sparking songs and smiles, and also through our long, long nights of aching and tears.
The difference may be that in the times when our hearts are crushed and broken, God’s nearness becomes more visible to us. The cracks and holes that the pain drills into our hearts’ chamber walls become windows to the Lord’s constant presence and comfort.
When suffering riddles our hearts with gashes and gaps, it can be easy for discouragement and even despair to creep inside.
Yet at certain moments and in different ways I am slowly finding that my time of sorrow can be a window-maker to a truth I can quickly become numb to—that Jesus is still close. As this truth pours over my aching heart, I am filled with gratitude to realize that it brings with it the gifts of new hope and fresh healing.
Michelle and her family enjoy hiking mountains and trails together. She is currently writing a series called, What Growing Up in a Mennonite Family of 10 Taught Me About Survival. To receive the bi-weekly tips, visit this link and subscribe.
Image by Vladimír Elexa from Pixabay
Thank you for this encouraging and comforting post, Michelle. Two lines catch my heart today: "...this awful time has reminded me that God can make something beautiful out of anything—even the shaken walls around our hearts." AND "The cracks and holes that the pain drills into our hearts’ chamber walls become windows to the Lord’s constant presence and comfort."
ReplyDeleteI wish you continued grace as He pours out his 'gifts of new hope and fresh healing' during this season of your life.
Beautifully said. Thank you!
Hi Brenda, Thank you so much for your kind words, and especially for your wish for continued grace for me. Bless you. Michelle
DeleteBeautiful post, Michelle. What a wonderful concept of ‘new windows’ to be filled with Him. May God continue to provide comfort and fill your own new windows on this journey of grief and loss. Thanks for your vulnerability and honesty.
ReplyDeleteHi Sharon, Thank you for your words of encouragement and blessing. May the Lord bless you too with all that you need today. Michelle
DeleteThank you for this. it touched my heart and was a good reminder for me today as I navigate my own grief over the loss of my daughter.
ReplyDeleteDear Tracy, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. How very very heavy your heart must be. I have prayed for you, and am now reminded to keep doing so. Michelle
DeleteThank you, Michelle, for your heart-felt words. How comforting to be reminded that our loving God is with us in all of life, in sunshine and in shadow. Blessings on you as you grieve numerous losses.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lorrie! I like how you phrased that -- the Lord is with us "in all of life, in sunshine and in shadow."
DeleteThank you for sharing, Michelle. Leonard Cohen is known for his song lyric, "There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in." Like you say, God is near all the time. It's in the brokenness, cracks, that we become aware of his merciful presence.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing that song lyric, Bob. I have not heard it before.
DeleteDear Michelle, I resonate with the bittersweet embrace of your words. My daughter also moved thousands of miles away with her family and she took a piece of my heart with her.
ReplyDeleteYou write so well as you share with us. I look forward to each of your posts for they give me a word image of your sensitive soul. Keep writing, dear friend.
Hello Alan, "She took a piece of my heart with her." Yes, that is exactly how I have felt about my daughter's move. I am slowly "coming around," as they say, but it's been a process. Thank you so much for your thoughtful and caring words. Bless you. Michelle
DeleteI hear you, and I get it. Grief shakes everything, even the parts of our hearts we thought were strong. It reminds me of Job—when everything was stripped away, he fell to the ground and "worshiped" (Job 1:20). Not because he didn’t feel the pain, but because even in his heartbreak, he knew God was still there.
ReplyDeleteAnd David—he had moments of deep discouragement too. He cried out, “How long, Lord? Will You forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1). Yet in those same psalms, he clung to the truth that God hadn’t let go of him.
I think you’re right—God doesn’t move closer when we suffer, but in the cracks of our brokenness, we "see" Him more clearly. And somehow, those cracks that let in sorrow also let in His light.
💙
Thank you Aritha. Beautifully said. I especially appreciate your reference to those two Scriptures. Very powerful. I will be writing those down to keep in mind. Blessings.
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