Grief has a way of shaking up the protective structures we wisely build around our hearts.
If I’m completely honest, as I’ve mourned, I’ve failed a few times in keeping the safeguard strong around the centre of my being.
Discouragement has snuck in through the gaps.
Even worse, despair and bitterness have slipped between the cracks on occasion.
I don’t confess this gleefully or with pride. I know how very destructive these attitudes can be to a person’s heart.
Yet though I’ve allowed in worse than I should have, this awful time has reminded me that God can make something beautiful out of anything—even the shaken walls around our hearts.
Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (ESV).
We may be inclined to think this verse is suggesting that God moves nearer as our hearts break.
However, I find it hard to believe that our good and loving Father moves closer to us as we crumple over in suffering yet stands at a distance when the sun is gleaming, and the soft breezes of wellbeing kiss our lives.
Instead, I believe we can trust that our God and Saviour is always near to us, both through our too-short days of life’s brilliance sparking songs and smiles, and also through our long, long nights of aching and tears.
The difference may be that in the times when our hearts are crushed and broken, God’s nearness becomes more visible to us. The cracks and holes that the pain drills into our hearts’ chamber walls become windows to the Lord’s constant presence and comfort.
When suffering riddles our hearts with gashes and gaps, it can be easy for discouragement and even despair to creep inside.
Yet at certain moments and in different ways I am slowly finding that my time of sorrow can be a window-maker to a truth I can quickly become numb to—that Jesus is still close. As this truth pours over my aching heart, I am filled with gratitude to realize that it brings with it the gifts of new hope and fresh healing.
Michelle and her family enjoy hiking mountains and trails together. She is currently writing a series called, What Growing Up in a Mennonite Family of 10 Taught Me About Survival. To receive the bi-weekly tips, visit this link and subscribe.
Image by Vladimír Elexa from Pixabay
