If we could see time as a circle, we might be better able to see how birth and death belong within the one embrace. John O'DonohueOur plane landed this past Monday night and my husband and I drove directly to the nursing home that my mother has called home for the past 13 months. The messages had been giving rise to anxieties... should we try to return early? Her health was failing rapidly. We had known this for awhile ... but when the day comes to say good by to your mother, it is still a sad day.
My mother of ninety three displayed a strength and joy of life, a contentment and sense of adventure.
The following poem was written after the painful death of children, but no matter the age death is difficult.
What is Grief?
It is not a sentiment,
of heart wrenching beautiful words.
It is incredible pain,
A darkness I cannot breathe in,
A tangible taste I cannot brush away.
A pain I think I cannot survive
It is not pretty, but it can bring about beauty.
It is a journey, I did not choose to embark on.
Grief is questions and searching
It redefines my soul.
Grief is so lonely it doubts the existence of love.
Bizarrely, the sun still shines in the midst of grief
And flowers still bloom.
Because of that
I choose to live!
There have been many opportunities to share the hope I have been given despite life altering grief. Choose hope, choose life.
Profound and beautiful
ReplyDeleteI have read a small bit of your story and journey through grief and there really are no words to add to your own that you so aptly express. I'm so thankful for Hope and that in the midst of grief it came to you. I'm so glad you choose hope. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteHello Jocelyn! Your poem of grief is profound. The lines are sobering and real. I could not help but reflect on the years I worked in a care home for people with complex care needs. Many times I spoke with the families of patients. Anxiety was common especially when the loved one was "failing rapidly." I feel for you my friend. Death can indeed be difficult. There is such unique sadness saying farewell to one's parents. Blessings on you, your husband and family as this farewell draws near.
ReplyDeleteSo thankful that we do not grieve as those without hope. Hope is powerful, hope is a gift.
ReplyDeleteI have read your poem today on a day where I have been feeling sad for many reasons. Your last line "I choose to live" says so much. Thanks for sharing some of your most deep thoughts with us.
ReplyDeleteVickie, some days we just have to declare it, to help us move in the right direction, even when we don't feel it. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jocelyn, for sharing from the depths of your heart and soul. Thank you for your poem that declares grief is a journey that has questions and searching and redefining of the soul. This "redefining" brings to my mind the way a sculptor redefines a block of wood or rock. Thank you for your hopeful ending and your choice toward life and sharing your story for your own healing and for helping others. Blessings.
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