Lapis Lazuli Love

All week long I cried out to You
But You were silent. I
Craved sanctuary,
Desired wholeness
Envied luxury. I
Faltered and fell,
Grieved at my
Haunting mistake.
Idled in self-defense,
Juggled confession and cowardice,
Kissed pride and kicked pride until
Lament seized my soul,
Mended me and made me
New. Now I splash in the
Oasis of your mercy, I sense a
Plan in the pain, a
Quiet in the question, a
Redeemer for the renegade.
Selah
Still waters invite me to
Touch the green grass at river’s edge, to
Unbuckle my load and lay it down. And as for the
Vagabond of yesterday, that flirting, accusing rogue, to
Wave him on, and
eXchange a thousand trophies for a single tender touch from You, to
Yield to your silence, and to lay myself down in your lapis
laZuli love.

by Pam Mytroen

I'd forgotten I'd written this poem until yesterday when I stumbled across it in St. Peter's Messenger magazine. Fun surprise. It is about a time in my life when I made a big blooper. I felt horrible about it but was too stubborn to accept God's mercy. When I finally did, I felt like I was curled up in his lap surrounded by his deep love. I wrote this acrostic style poem inspired by the acrostic on the Hebrew alphabet in Psalm 139.
God's love reminds me of the beautiful lapis lazuli stone. It is a semi-precious mined stone known for its deep, infinite blue.