Wanda removed her sweater and jeans and stepped on the scale. Not quite. She dropped her underwear and took off her watch. Almost. Earrings and hairclip hit the floor. Yes! The last ten pounds were gone. She snatched the picture of the fudge-sundae from her mirror and licked it.
“Tanya? Let’s go. I’m ready for my skinny treat.”
“Yum-Yums is closed.”
“I’m starting to shake. I need chocolate,” said Wanda.
“Let’s try the confectionery on the corner instead. They have hot-fudge sundaes,” said Tanya.
"Yeesh, where's the safe house when a woman needs a needle and liquid chocolate? This place is closed too!" Wanda catapulted off the speed bump in the drive-through. "Maybe Shop Mart is still open."
“Ever consider using your signal light?” asked Tanya, grabbing the door handle.
"Should we break in?" asked Wanda peering in Shop Mart's dark windows.
"It's a good place to let me off."
"Tanya, my mom keeps chocolate candies in her purse. Let’s go!”
“Wanda, watch out!”
“Just a shopping cart. Minor scratch!” said Wanda. She squealed out of the parking lot.
Wanda screeched to a stop in front of the Nursing Home, ran in and found her Mom’s cleaning cart.
“Mom, I’m grabbing a few candies from your purse! Thanks!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ahhhh, I love the way it melts in my mouth,” said Wanda as she settled into the car again.She slipped the wrapper off another candy and popped it in her mouth.
“Want one Tanya?”
“Would it help peel me off the ceiling?" asked Tanya.
Tanya took a candy from Wanda and turned it over. “You’re really desperate, girl.”
“I know, Tanya, but it’s been sixty-three days. Mmmmm.”
“It may have chocolate in it Wanda, but I’m not taking Ex-Lax.”
“Ex? Pyech! Oh no!”
Tanya tightened her seat belt and turned on the air bag.
Wanda did a burn out and headed for the intersection.
“Does the color red mean anything to you Wanda?"
“Hang on!"
“Aaaaaeeee!"
"Right back," said Wanda. She dove from the car and ran to her house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“That was quick," said Tanya. “Glad to see you’ve come down a couple notches.”“There is one good thing about Ex-lax.”
“It gets you off the road?"
"I just weighed myself again, and I lost another five pounds.”
“I lost five pounds just driving with you."
"I’m skinny enough we can have two treats tomorrow,” said Wanda.
“Give me the keys Wanda."
"Why?"
"Where's that safe house you mentioned?" Tanya rubbed her hands together and gripped the steering wheel. "I need caffeine. Now."
Silly stories by Pam
What fun! Makes my chocolate binges look far less serious! Thank you and I am LOL.
ReplyDeleteI read somewhere recently that at least 50% of all fat people are disgustingly healthy—GO CHOCOLATE!
ReplyDeleteGood one.
Ha, Ha! And chocolate is now held up as being one of the five healthiest foods in the world! (along with spinach and almonds).
ReplyDeletePam
I started drooling as soon as I saw the pic at the top. Ha - too funny!
ReplyDeleteOh, my. Not a nice thing to talk about to someone on steroids and as a result, who has a voracious appetite (especially for chocolate!)A funny story. Thanks for the giggle. ;0 Glynis
ReplyDeleteThanks girls. I was inspired by Inscribe's fall contest to write a story under 400 words. This was good practice!
ReplyDeleteBTW, I forgot to 'dress' Wanda after she weighed herself. Woops!
I was a bit worried about that skinny dip/treat. I guess we need to read between the lines.
ReplyDeleteDoes Wanda not realize Baker's Chocolate Chips work well?
Thanks for the laugh. GM
Chocolate and a fun story. Gotta love it!
ReplyDeleteLorrie