Be Vulnerable - Tracy Krauss

Writing is good therapy. I love pouring my heart out in my journal. It helps me process life. I like to pray, reflect, and even rant if I must. I think it helps me in my relationships because I can say things to myself that might be hurtful if I said them out loud. More often than not, I manage to work things out before saying something I might regret. It’s why my journals are private, meant only for me.

But what about my other writing? I know there are a lot of closet writers out there. People who write stories and poems or other pieces, but who hold them close for fear of having to share. Sharing one’s words makes you VULNERABLE, and being VULNERABLE is scary.

I know what I’m talking about. I was a closet writer for more than a decade. (Sixteen years to be exact.) That’s the length of time it took me to write my first novel. I was clacking away for all that time, working on several novels at once, actually, but never, ever did I want to show them to anyone. To allow someone else to read my words felt like standing naked in a crowded room. It’s overwhelming and scary and you feel exposed. 

Then I finally took a tiny first step and let one of my daughters read my finished manuscript. It was safer to let someone I trusted, who I knew loved me for me, not my writing, to look at it first. I guess I felt safe with her, and even though she found lots of things to critique, it made me feel brave because I’d put myself out there, even in a small way. That led to gradual next steps of submitting to editors, and agents and finally, years later, owning my voice as a writer. 

It’s hard to believe that first tiny step was more than twenty years ago, now. (I’ve been writing for close to forty years and had my first book published fifteen years ago. How time flies.) But I can still feel the fear of that first time I exposed myself and let someone else read my words. Sometimes I still feel it, but I remind myself that vulnerability is an integral part of this writing gig so I better get over myself!

Tracy Krauss is still writing and still being vulnerable! Visit her website: fiction on the edge without crossing the line. https://tracykrauss.com

Giving Like a Child by Pamela Mytroen

 

When I was four years old, I couldn't wait until the lights were turned out and my mom and dad had said goodnight and prayed with me. As soon as my two-year old sibling had fallen asleep in the crib beside me, I would sit up in bed, shake my pillow until the pillowcase slipped off and then pretend to pack it with food for every starving child I'd seen on TV. I would then journey to the dark nation of Africa. I tried to figure out how to sneak leftovers from the supper table but I knew that wouldn't go over well with Mom, so I just stuffed pretend potatoes, meatloaf and chocolate cake into my case and swung it over my shoulder every night. I would hand it out freely, the bag never running out. I never thought to question them about whether or not they deserved this food, or how to sustain them day after day. I just loved the smiles on their faces. Once every child had taken enough for their family, I would shove my pillow back in the case and fall asleep in peace. 

My four-year-old sense of justice became jaded as I began to listen to the "big people" talk around me. They would talk about the homeless man on the street and all agree that he didn't deserve a hand out because he wasn't working. I worked that philosophy into my children's story books and decided that the hungry bunny didn't deserve to eat the farmer's lettuce after all, and he should be chased away. I also worked it into the bible where it says to feed the poor and decided that instead of feeding the poor people, I should teach them theology, because after all, they would go to hell with a full belly just as easily with an empty one. 

I began to see every homeless person as being lazy and untrustworthy, and focused on learning the truths of God's word instead so that I could impact lives from the inside out. However, that changed when I was challenged to read Jesus' words again. He commands us to care for the poor and he doesn't put any qualifiers on it. He doesn't say, "Give to the poor and demand that they buy groceries with it." He doesn't say, "Only give to those who are looking for work." He just says "Give to everyone who asks you for something" (Mt 5:42).  I began to realize that giving to the poor, or taking care of the vulnerable, not only gives them hope and nutrition, but it also teaches me a lesson. 

Working downtown in a  city, I soon found countless opportunities to put my faith into action. Or rather, they found me. Stepping out of the hotel, I would immediately be asked for money. I finally learned to carry change in my pocket. While I had no clue where they would be spending this money, I learned to leave it in God's hands. Instead, I would chat with them as we walked down the sidewalk together. I know it's not always wise to give irrationally, but maybe giving to the poor is more about what we need to learn than about what they need to eat. 

I learn to trust God when I give. I learn that He is kind and gracious to all of us. I learn that I don't deserve His blessings any more than a woman stopping me on the sidewalk and asking for money. Her hair is long and unkept and I don't know where she will go once she's out of my sight, but I can bless her and pray for her in Jesus' name. Although this is a very small action, it has opened my eyes in a big way to see that God respects and values every human being. I have learned to see past the downcast eyes or the demanding tone of some desperate people and instead to see the fingerprints of God on their lives. 

While I may not be able to affect change at government level, I can do small child-like things from day to day. I can take a container of soup to a senior who is struggling with depression during the isolation of Covid. I can call my neighbour widow and ask if she needs groceries picked up for her. I can listen to a friend share about the effects of childhood abuse and how they are still struggling with self-worth. I can sponsor children monthly through various organizations and I can write letters to my MP to protect children from trafficking. 

Maybe stuffing food into a pillowcase and sharing it with the hungry wasn't so far off after all. My heart still longs to help them, and maybe that's where God is found - in the hungry and homeless - who have so much to teach us about grace and no-strings-attached love of Jesus. While social justice issues have broadened from hunger and poverty to persecution, modern day slavery, and freedom of speech, it still comes down to individual people who need to be seen and acknowledged, and sometimes the best way to show that is by a handout, whether that hand holds a bag of food or material goods, or a handful of hope and dignity. 

While God warns governments that He will call them to account for how they've treated the poor and vulnerable, He also expects individuals to be aware of their needs and to help in whatever way they can. Giving comes naturally to children when they are raised with compassion, and God's words are simple enough for a child to understand. "Hear this, you who trample the needy and do away with the poor of the land . . .buying the poor with silver and the needy for a pair of sandals. . . The LORD  has sworn by himself, . . . 'I will never forget anything they have done. Will not the land tremble for this, and all who live in it mourn?' " (Amos 8:4,6a,7, 8a).