Turn the Other Cheek by Lynn Dove

As a writer, called by God to write, there are certainly times when I have allowed the world to discourage me.  It is a lonely venture being a writer.  As a Christian writer I feel a great obligation and responsibility to represent God and not bring discredit to Him or to His Word.  Christian writers face the same struggles and pressures as any other writer, but we also face a spiritual attack from the enemy who does not want us to write our message of Hope to a fallen world.  Understanding your calling as a Christian writer, will help you deal with the criticism aimed at us from time to time from the world.


Every writer has to face the inevitable.  It may come in the form of a scathing review of a book you have published, or a nasty comment left on social media that maligns your character or your writing or both!  Let's face it, it is a trial by fire we must learn to endure when criticized.  I don't like it, I don't want it, but when I get it, it's up to me to deal with it in a God-honouring manner. 


I don't lash out at the "trolls" on social media, who like to argue for argument's sake.  Not responding to hateful comments from faceless people on the internet is the easiest way to deal with that kind of criticism.  I wrote an article on my Journey Thoughts blog that deals with those type of people. 
https://lynndove.com/2018/11/23/do-not-feed-the-trolls/


It's harder to ignore negative comments posted on book sites that criticize my books.  Critical reviews are one thing, but reviews that just hurt and demean are quite disturbing.  Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with many of those kinds of reviews, but still they hurt when I read them.  In one instance, a reader, (a self-proclaimed Satan worshipper), spent her time maligning the Christian content in my book.  To that, I just had to wonder why she was reading a Christian book in the first place.  Then I took heart that she had read the book cover to cover!  Who knows?  Maybe a seed was planted?


I have discovered that, as a writer, you can't please every reader every time.  The way to avoid having your heart hurt by negative criticism is to slough off the comments that are mean-spirited, but learn to embrace those comments given in "love" that you learn from to make you a better writer. 


Writers have tender egos, I certainly have one, but I appreciate those who have read my work and critique it honestly and give practical advice on how to improve my writing.  I especially appreciate other writers who take the time to comment and to encourage me.  Based on their example, I have a basic rule when I write a book review, or comment on someone's blog: if I don't have something nice to say, I don't say anything at all.  I know how hard a writer works to perfect their writing, and I would rather encourage than criticize them.  Certainly, there are times when writers want a critical review, but again, I try to focus on their writing strengths and give helpful suggestions that will improve their writing.  Again, there is a right and a wrong way to criticize.  The goal should be to uplift, not tear down.

Lynn Dove is the award-winning author, of the YA “Wounded Trilogy”- a contemporary Christian fiction series with coming-of-age themes. A wife, mom, grandmother, and free-lance writer with articles published in several magazines and anthologies including Chicken Soup for the Soul books, her blog, “Journey Thoughts” is a Canadian Christian Writing Award winner. Readers may connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and at lynndove.com

Three Stages to Clarity - Tracy Krauss

I've faced my share of criticism and rejection. 

Fear of what others might think kept me from sharing my writing for more than a decade. Then, when I did drum up the courage to submit my work, the pain of rejection almost caused me to quit.

My writerly self esteem was low, despite years of compulsive clacking on the keyboard, and it took tremendous courage to submit those first manuscripts. When I received the first responses in the mail (yes, it was that long ago...), my stomach fluttered with excitement and anticipation as my trembling hands ripped open the envelope.

That wasn't the only thing that ripped open. After just the first few words, the proverbial knife plunged into my gut and I literally felt ill. As more rejections came, the pain didn't subside. I like to joke that I could have papered a room with all the rejections I received, except for the fact that I tossed them instead. My loss... However, I did begin to recognize a pattern in my emotional responses that has since helped me navigate the trauma.

The first stage is despair. There is usually just raw pain - a sense of worthlessness, rejection, humiliation and hurt stemming from an attack on one's self esteem. It feels personal and the temptation to sing the childhood chorus, "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, going to the garden to eat worms..." is real.

Then the pendulum swings and you feel offended. Anger rises. This state of offence stems, I think, from pride - an over inflated sense of self righteousness and the inability to accept one's own shortcomings. "How dare they?" leads to, "What do they know anyway? I don't need to listen to them!"

Finally, once the emotional responses are allowed to run their course, clarity emerges. The "uh-huh" moment... The light bulb comes on... For lack of a better metaphor, a brilliant shaft of light breaks through the clouds. "Why didn't I think of that?" and "I can't believe I didn't see that..." make one anxious to go back in and make improvements. It has been my experience that I often do not see the obvious flaws in my own work. I am too close and too emotionally invested. To use another cliche, I can't see the forest for the trees. This is the true value of criticism and even rejection: the learning and growth that inevitably comes.

The real trick is to recognize that these three stages are normal and they will probably continue to happen, no matter how seasoned one becomes. However, we can choose how quickly we navigate through each stage. Don't let despair make you quit. Don't allow offence to gain a foothold. Know who you are as a writer and embrace it, but don't be such a snob as to think you know it all. As quickly as possible, absorb and apply any good advice you can glean. Find some clarity in each critique and then move on.
__________________________

Tracy Krauss is a multi-published and award winning author and playwright living in Northern BC. She is currently serving as president of InScribe.  tracykrauss.com

No Pain No Gain – Ramona Heikel

It wasn’t the rejection that got to me.  Although it’s a disappointment, rejection tells me I have more to learn, and need more practice writing.  It was the feel of the rejection that led me take drastic measures.

I’d spent a few years writing a novel and studying the specifics of a very particular market.  I had probably spent six months just checking off the publisher’s unusually long and detailed list of requirements for every aspect of the characters, plot, word length, setting, dialogue and manuscript formatting.  (You know what I’m talking about!)  When I thought it was perfect in every way I submitted it, waited the requisite three to six months and then received a short email saying it wasn’t what they were looking for.

Now I’ve received loads of rejections for manuscripts I’ve submitted.  I’d always learned from them, been inspired to correct my mistakes, revised and resubmitted.  But this one felt different.  It was as if I stood at the door offering a precious gift of my time, energy and heart, and without a word, my offering was knocked to the ground, the door was slammed shut, and the bang reverberated in the silence.

Yes, I understand that editors are busy and certainly can’t respond personally and specifically in every rejection letter.  But some of the largest publishing houses in the world have responded to my submissions with professionalism, respect, courtesy and at least a short phrase of explanation for their refusal.  So perhaps I’d been spoiled up until then and now had finally experienced one of the more typical responses.

But then I had another unpleasant revelation.  After I dusted myself off and sat back down at the keyboard, I realized my novel was so tailor-made for that one unique market that I couldn’t actually revise and resubmit it anywhere else. 

All that work for all those years wasted?  And I couldn’t even learn from it?  What good was that?

So that was the pain.  Now for the gain.

If that’s the way the industry was going to treat its novice novel writers, I was going to have to find a more practical way to hone my writing skills.  It just so happened that just a few months prior, my writing group had invited one of our members to speak about her experiences writing for magazines.  For our purely novel-writing group, this was almost unheard of.  But as I recalled this workshop, I decided to look into writing shorter pieces.

I returned to my Writer’s Market and scanned the magazine categories.  None of them interested me…until I came upon the children’s magazines!  How could I have I missed that genre?  I worked with kids at my job, I still cherished all my own (and my sons’) children’s books, taught Sunday school, and had even submitted my poems to a children’s magazine when I was a child.  So, I found the Institute for Children’s Literature and signed up for their course.  And there began a new world of possibilities, providing some of my greatest writing enjoyment and success.

I still re-read my novels and will work on them again one day.  Looking back, I can add that experience to my growing list of times when God has used something painful to bring about a significant change for the better.  It’s so true: we actually can, by faith, give thanks in everything!

Posted by Ramona

www.happilywriting.com

The Best Cure for Fear - Tracy Krauss

I started writing seriously back in 1985. That is almost thirty years ago. My biggest fear back then is probably still the thing that nags at me on occasion. What if people think what I've written is stupid?

Fear of rejection is arguably the most common fear among writers. I've got news, folks. Get used to it.

It took me sixteen years and several works in progress to finally get up the nerve to let someone read what I'd written. By that time I had a finished novel and three more in various stages. I knew that eventually I would have to let someone take a peek - after all, my dream was to see my work published. Therein lies the irony. I wanted people to read what I had so painstakingly set to paper, but at the same time I was afraid. Writing is so personal. It's a little bit like exposing oneself in public.

I decided to take a baby step, which was still monumental considering my mental state at the time. I let my fourteen year old daughter, who was (and is) a voracious reader, be the first to read my masterpiece. Her reaction was, shall we say, polite. She 'liked' it, but she wasn't engrossed. In hindsight, I know now that the story was very expository. There was too much 'telling'. (Funny how I didn't catch that the first time around...) I went back to the computer and made some major revisions.

After a thorough overhaul, I took another giant leap and sent a submission off to the 'Writer's Edge', a service that reviews manuscripts for a small fee. If they think it has merit they will recommend it to agents and publishers on their list. (Sort of a pre-screening service.) This time I was sure I was golden. My career as an author was about to begin!

No so. That first rejection letter was devastating. I wish now that I had kept it. Instead I threw it away, discouraged and disheartened. But writers - real writers - can't stop writing.

The good news is this. I persevered. Each and every rejection was actually a gift. While most were form letters, many were not. I took to heart each and every piece of advice given to me in those rejections. A good writing class might have been an easier route, but having already started down the school of hard knocks, I carried on. Submission. Rejection. Submission. Rejection. Along the way I learned a ton about what good writing looks like, and I also got rather thick skinned. Rejection, it turns out, is the best cure for fear of rejection.

Over a six year period, I estimate I sent out between 120 and 130 submissions. I didn't receive quite as many rejections (some agents and publishers don't bother to respond at all) but the old saying that some writers could paper a wall with their rejection letters is actually true in my case. Through it all, I also got some 'requests for more' (a very thrilling response given the barrage of bad news) and eventually several contracts. It was not an easy road, I assure you.

What is the point of this story? Don't let the fear of rejection stop you from sharing your work. Take a deep breath and send that query! Read aloud at your next writers' group! Do something - anything - to force your fears into submission. The worst that anyone can say is, "That's really not that good," to which you can respond, "Thanks for the feedback. I'll do better next time."

Tracy Krauss is a multi-published, award winning, and Amazon best selling novelist and playwright. After years of rejection she feels she has earned the right to blow her own horn among friends. http://tracykrauss.com

Breathe by Glynis M. Belec

I never counted them but I am thinking that there are hundreds of verses in the Good Book on [not] being fearful. Some of my favourites include:

·         

     Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

·      Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

·         Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I will trust in you.

·         2 Timothy 1:7 For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

·         1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

·         1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with    punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

·         Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

·         Isaiah 35:4 Say to those who have an anxious heart, “Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you.”

·         John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

·         Proverbs 12:25 Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

     So how’s that for a God Pep talk? I always feel better after reading some of these verses. I might have been a published writer for over 28 years, but I will admit that there are still times when I doubt myself, question my abilities as a writer, or just plain fear sending ‘stuff’ out to the great editorial world fearful that I might be rejected.

     My love language is Words of Affirmation so is it any wonder that when I get rejected with words I am devastated? [Writer, have you ever taken this test? http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ I often wonder if most writers have Words of Affirmation as their love language.]

     I digress. . .

Probably one of the biggest encouragements I received as a fledgling writer was being reminded about and then realizing that when I got a rejection it wasn’t me, personally, who was being rejected – it was the manuscript.  Sweet relief when I discovered that. Editors have different tastes so just because they might not like what I have written doesn’t mean that another one will feel the same. 

That felt good to hear that a few times over and over in my early writing career. Before that revelation, after receiving a rejection slip, I would fall into despair declaring to myself that I really should get out of the business of writing and who did I think I was thinking that someone might be interested in reading something I wrote? The rejection slip meant that I must be writing drivel; and the audacity of me thinking that someone would pay me for writing such twaddle was laughable. Hah! 

But somehow I got through it. And here I am many moons later still clicking the keyboard. Having over a thousand  columns and articles later and plenty of books under my belt indicates that it was good I am a tad on the stubborn side. After a few writerly tantrums and moments of quiet where I let God whisper louder than those other nasty inner voices, I realized that if I succumbed to that negativity then my dreams and aspirations would be compromised and my passion to write extinguished. Like I said, I am far too stubborn to let that happen!

You would think that I have developed broad shoulders and now, so many years later, a rejection doesn’t really fizz on me. I can just brush it off. I hate to admit it – but it t’aint necessarily so! If [when] I get a rejection letter now, I still hear those crazy voices. They whisper that same old reminder of what a terrible writer I am and how I am so unworthy and ridiculous for even sending my article off. Blah, blah, blah. Then God reminds me.

 Last month I had the privilege of sharing some insights about being a writer. I spoke a fair bit about rejection and how many famous manuscripts were rejected. And if it makes you feel any better, I will share some.

•            Harry Potter – JK Rowlings rejected  7  times
•            Beatrix Potter – Peter Rabbit – rejected 7 times - sold 150 million copies
•            The Help – Kathrynn Stockett – rejected 60 times
•            Chicken Soup – first title - Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen: rejected by 123 publishers and were told that their book had a stupid title, had no sex or violence, and no one would read it.
•            The Shack by William P. Young: Publishers either found this book too Christian or not Christian  enough. So 15 photocopied editions led to a self-publishing company and eventually 15 million copies sold.
•           Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell: 40 rejections - grossed more than $1 million and won a Pulitzer in its first year
•       Ann Frank, Moby Dick, Life of Pi, To Kill; a Mockingbird – they were all rejected many times.

So the lesson here is that when the rejection slips come in, don’t forget to inhale, breathe deeply, check out one of the above scriptures, reread your piece and if you are still in love with it, then send it out one more time. I heard a long time ago that as writers we should be more joyful and grateful when we get a rejection slip. At least it means we are trying!

Ker-Pow! My First "Critique" - Ramona Heikel

During my second year of university, I wrote a column in the student newspaper, The Oredigger. As the secretary of the student body it was my job to take minutes at each meeting of the student council, and then write an article about the meeting to help students keep informed of student government activities and issues.

After publishing my first article, the editor said to me, “These meetings are pretty dry. Can you spice up your articles with some humor or something?” I assured him I could, and for the rest of the school year I wrote lighter articles, trying to draw readers in by a humorous narrative of our monthly meetings. Since the editor merely thanked me each time I stopped by the newspaper office to hand him my typed sheets (no email in those days!), I assumed he was happy with my writing.

Then, while reading the last issue of The Oredigger, which came out at the end of the school year, just before everyone finished their finals and left for the summer, I came upon a letter to the editor that stopped my heart. A student complained that throughout the year the student council articles had been annoyingly cutesy and unprofessional, not befitting an upstanding population of students such as ours. At the end of that letter was a note from the editor, saying that he had no control over the article that was submitted by student council.

I felt sick. I was so shocked to find out that after 9 months of articles, not only had a reader disliked them so much that she went to the trouble to gripe about them for several paragraphs, but had also waited to speak up until I had no chance to redeem myself. Not only that, I felt betrayed by the editor for apparently agreeing with her, yet never mentioning his dissatisfaction to me throughout the year, or at least showing me the letter before it went to publication to give me a chance to respond.

However, I took their criticisms to heart as I re-read some of my articles, and I had to agree. They were way too cutesy. See the sample for yourself, and I think you’ll agree. So now I was embarrassed and ashamed, and not just a little, or for a short while. I just re-read that letter to the editor (which I saved…why?) and I feel the same emotions as I did in 1977. And I still have trouble not being cutesy.

It was an awful experience, but I’m sure that it took the edge off subsequent critiques and rejections, and it taught me some good lessons about consideration for my audience and keeping in mind the purpose of a piece of writing.

It occurs to me also that this is not the only time in my life that God has used a traumatic experience to take the edge off of others that followed. Maybe that is one way that I can give thanks in all circumstances, knowing that right in the midst of them God can be using them to strengthen me and give me wisdom for the future.

(By the way, in case you’re wondering, the caption on the photograph mentions slides of a wet t-shirt contest, but that was only a ploy to get more people to come to the meetings. They were actually scenic slides from a trip to the mountains—honest!)

Posted by Ramona
www.happilywriting.com