A Drop of Love ~ Valerie Ronald

 

If I were relating the defining moments in my writing life, they would begin with the story about the gypsy girl I wrote in grade five, when I discovered I could imagine worlds into being. Then on to times in a high school creative writing class where my words took wing, encouraged by affirmations from my teacher and classmates. College journalism courses, a job as a rookie newspaper reporter, first published magazine article ˗˗ all were significant in my writing career. As important as these moments were, their significance pales in light of the impact of God on my creative journey.

It would take too long to narrate the tale of how God drew me to Himself. Through many starts and stops, wanderings and returnings, He continually pursued me with His love until I surrendered completely to Him. Where else could I go? My own desires and decisions had landed me in an emotionally abusive marriage with no way out that I could see. There at rock bottom, God met me. My circumstances were the same but my heart was changed, renewed by the Lord who made me.

One brief moment stands out above all others. If I ever held doubts about God’s singular eye upon me, His omniscient attention to every detail about me, this moment wiped them all away. Admitted to the hospital for some minor surgery, I remember actually anticipating a few days of escape from my emotionally stressful life. Exhausted by a roller coaster marriage to a volatile, spiritually abusive man, doing my best to mother three young children and dealing with fatiguing health issues, I longed for rest. A hospital stay was hardly the ideal vacation, but the prospect of a few days in bed offered a welcome respite. I remember breathing a hasty prayer before the anesthetic took affect.  

Then I awoke with an overwhelming knowingness of God’s love for me.  

That sounds so simple, such a given, but it does not come close to capturing the all-encompassing intensity of how loved by God I knew myself to be in that moment. I did not want to return to full consciousness, to leave what I knew even then was a foretaste of heaven.

A nurse tried to rouse me, but I fought to remain in that place of complete love deep within where my soul resided with God. Of course, I couldn’t stay. The real world of bright light, noise and pain could not be avoided. I opened my eyes and responded to the nurse, but my spirit continued to dance on the verge of its natural home, trailing glorious love like streamers floating to the earth.

I am not one to pursue signs, wonders and visions. My belief in Jesus Christ is based on the rock-solid truth of His Word. I recognize I am made up of body, soul and spirit and capable of a myriad of emotions, as designed by my Creator, but emotions do not rule my spiritual life. Neither do I seek out artificially induced emotional experiences, as could be credited to the anesthetic drugs. But since that soul-deep epiphany, I now know what God’s love feels like. He gave me those few moments as a glimpse of what is to come, I am sure of it. A crack appeared in the floor of heaven to seep out a minuscule drop of His great love for me. I could not have handled any more than that, but He knew at that particularly difficult time, a drop of His love would carry me through. In fact, it has lasted throughout my life, impacting my faith, relationships and hope for the future in a deep and lasting way.

“By constantly using your faith, the life of Christ will be released deep inside you, and the resting place of His love will become the very source and root of your life. Then you will be empowered to discover what every holy one experiences—the great magnitude of the astonishing love of Christ in all its dimensions. How deeply intimate and far-reaching is His love! How enduring and inclusive it is! Endless love beyond measurement that transcends our understanding—this extravagant love pours into you until you are filled to overflowing with the fullness of God!” (Eph. 3:17-19 Passion Translation)  

When the white-gowned bride I used to be was trampled in the mud by the man I married, that singular drop of God’s love redefined me as cherished beyond value. Like a never failing cruse of oil, God’s drop of love sustained me through raising my children alone, facing poverty and fighting cancer. My painful past is long behind me now yet the impact of that love-soaked moment continues to influence how I live and write.

Knowing His love for me is replicated many million times over for all those He has fashioned, stimulates me to be a conduit for this miraculous drop of love. I cannot love well on my own. Only the indwelling Spirit of God, through Christ, can disperse this love like a drop of ink in water, to saturate all who encounter it. In God’s economy, a mere drop of His love goes a long way. 

Valerie Ronald lives in Portage la Prairie, Manitoba. She is a graduate of Vancouver's Langara College journalism program, and has worked as a newspaper reporter, freelance writer, public speaker and bookstore employee. She writes devotionals for her home church bulletins and her online blog. Her current book project chronicles how God's faithfulness saw her through the dark valleys of divorce and cancer. Along with her husband, Valerie enjoys spending time with their blended family and six grandchildren. She is a nature photographer, water colorist, cat lover and Scrabble addict.

More of her devotionals can be read on her blog https://scriptordeus.wordpress.com

Marriage: My Defining Moment by Alan Anderson

 

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”--Ephesians 5:31.

I pondered the writing prompts for this month for days to prepare for the post. My life is blessed with many defining moments. Each is a story, an unfolding of chapters in my life. For this post I decided to write on one defining moment.

 

 

My Marriage

Next to my life as a Christian, marriage is my greatest defining moment. Marriage, the most intimate relationship between a woman and a man. A precious life shared by two people who cannot live without each other. This is how I see my marriage.

 

 

Years ago, when I was a young pastor, our church membership included several older married couples. I often watched them interact with each other. I viewed them like models of the evergreen trees I see every day and throughout the years.

 

 

My wife Terry and I live close to mountains and farms. Evergreen trees clothe the mountains which shelter the animals and birds native to the area. They encounter storms which seek to tear them apart. They endure pounding rain, freezing temperatures of winter, and scorching heat of summer. Through all this, the evergreens stand against the elements like fierce warriors.

 

 

The married couples I mentioned earlier were like these evergreen trees. As my relationship with these older couples matured, their stories taught me to stand firm in commitment to my marriage. Terry and I faced challenges through the years, and our marriage is stronger. In May 2022 we look forward to celebrating our forty-fourth wedding anniversary, Lord willing.

 

 

Marriage brings times of dance and romance. Believe me, I am not a model of a dancer. When certain music comes on, the wannabe dancer in me comes to life. I will grab Terry’s hand and show her my dance moves. For whatever reason, this always gives her reason to giggle. Perhaps this is a time for her to giggle at my wiggle.

 

 

Romance isn’t only for the young. Now I am older, I still see a need to perfect how I romance my wife. Romance, perhaps aside from the more physical intimacy, can be expressed in other ways. When I cook Terry a special meal, I invite her to sit back and enjoy the time. I still open doors for her and pull her chair out for her when we go to a restaurant for dinner (although this doesn’t happen often during the pandemic.) A favourite name I use for her is, “my darling.” Sometimes I look at her without her knowledge and think, “Wow, I am a blessed man!”

 

 

Marriage brings times of hugs and tears. Terry and I have both mourned the death of our parents. We also shed tears when five of our grandchildren went to heaven before they reached birth. We are adult orphans and grandparents who grieve.

 

 

We cherish our life together through the times of dance and romance and the hugs and tears. Hugs and their closeness bring smiles in the times of laughter, tears, and the between times. Believe me, I am a big hugger.

 

 

Marriage embraces me like a warm, intimate hug without end. Marriage also absorbs into my skin and covers me with my wife, my children, my grandchildren, and memories of those loved.

 

 

Alan lives in Deroche, B.C. with his wife, Terry. He contributed stories to Good Grief People by Angel Hope Publishing, 2017; Story by Story: The Power of a Writer, Unstoppable Writers Publishing, 2018. Alan has also written articles for FellowScript Magazine. Blog: https://scarredjoy.ca.

Alan has written blog posts for our InScribe blog since 2015.

The past walks with the present ... by Jocelyn Faire

 

 

... because the past walks with us in the present in more ways than we know. ~ Brian McLaren

     I feel I've had more than enough life defining moments. The most heart-and-soul wrenching  moment was to stand between the caskets of my son and my daughter being lowered ... trying to convince myself that “we do not grieve as those who have no hope.” I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that life was never ever going to be back to anything I had ever dreamed, imagined, expected, or wished for. On an icy highway, life had been irreparably altered, changing forever the road I now walked upon. For nearly a decade that followed, the ongoing barrage of life defining moments dizzied me, while my prayers could not give voice to the aching depths or questions of my heart. Looking back now, it feels like watching my life as a movie scene. 

But  .... 

And this is the moment of big buts; in those life altering events we are held and supported by God in powerful ways. Those defining moments birth further moments in the successive days, months and even years that all play back to that big defining moment. Because as Brian McLaren says, the past walks with us in the present in more ways than we know. That past moment is ever present.

This month's question felt significant; partly, because I know I've faced life defining events, and because the successive defining moments all had a kind of glue that kept that event impacting forward. My mother once asked me ... “Jocelyn, do you think you would've gotten divorced if the accident hadn't happened?” No. Would I have moved to Australia without knowing a soul down under? Would I have written a book or two? No, No. Neither of those. Would I have adopted a drug addict as my surrogate daughter? Would I have retired from nursing early? No. No. Would I have felt emotionally safer being of no fixed address than living in my old hometown where everyone knew the story? No. Would I have felt the need to remove myself from church groups because some of those pat answers were too shallow? Would I now be traveling with (and married to) the doctor I used to work with? ... another big No. There are a thousand No's ... But, an equal number of YES's that have stemmed from that one big bang!

There are a lot of clichés and verses thrown about in regards to the value and benefit of suffering change. We are often encouraged to just trust the process and the God behind it ... to let the change change us, to make the best of it ... These are more easily said from those witnessing someone in tumultuous times, and often a very well meaning friend tosses in a reminder that “all things work together for good, to those that love the Lord,” overlooking the immense pain of past trauma. I continue to learn this. Sometimes I'm successful in identifying that what I over react to is because it links back to a deeper pain within. 

But, to end off more positively, I want to share some things that I have learned: The power of hope is strong; humans have a resilience that I would not have dreamed possible for myself; God walks alongside us in the worst of times. God's question that kept coming back to me was, “Will you trust me?” Will I trust you? And God, how can you expect me to trust you after what happened? Each time I stepped in that direction, it felt as though things worsened. Will I trust you? My answer had to be Yes, because the alternative was even worse. 

And now, almost seventeen years later, when I am asked if I will trust, (the question keeps coming up, because life continues) ...  I hesitate less and say, yes, I will trust you.  Each defining moment carries opportunity for a defining response ... and this filters down to the most ordinary of days. Each day holds an opportunity to live life as holy, to reclaim the power of my identity as a much loved child of God, and to make sense of the world. The control I once wanted has gone by the wayside ... and this brings both a loss and a freedom, when I realize how tenuous that perceived control really is. With less need for control, I allow wisdom and grace to enter.

I want to share the hope that has risen from the defining moment ... that life can be experienced as beautiful again, that the soul can grow larger even in the face of catastrophic loss. And that the comfort and presence of God can be experienced. Blessings to you as you face your defining moments. (If nothing else, you can be relieved that your day doesn't seem nearly as bad now.)

A Writing Path Defined by Brenda Leyland

"In your life's defining moments there are two choices

- you either step forward in faith and power

or you step backward into fear."

James Arthur Ray

As a young woman starting out, I had many plans for my life—becoming a writer was not one of them, not even as a secret wish tucked in a hidden corner. So how did I get on this writing path? Thinking back, it all came about rather quietly, no bolts of lightning, no writing on the wall. But these defining moments weren't passive—they came with a certain tenacity, much like when someone tugs your sleeve until you turn 'round and notice who's vying for your attention.

Perhaps it began with the encouragement from my mom and from an auntie who would say to my mom, 'That Brenda, she should write a book'. As much as I appreciated these kind comments—perhaps I did have a flair for words written in a card or Christmas letter—surely it couldn't mean anything more. No matter, seeds were planted.

Without L.M. Montgomery’s influence, I probably wouldn’t be a writer today. If you’ve followed past posts, you already know the creator of Green Gables figured a key place in my youth, first as a girl loving her beloved characters Anne and Emily, and then later falling in love with the author herself as I delved into her published journals and poetry. Reading her books created a yearning in me—if only I could write as beautifully as she wrote. I loved how she described the world around her.

How was I to know that taking a job in 1982 at the Alberta Legislature in the Premier's Office would put me on a path to writing. Starting as a typist on the team that handled reams of correspondence, I eventually became a correspondence writer preparing thousands of letters for my Boss's signature. As my writing skills developed, so my interest to write increased. I began to imagine a ministry through the art of writing—not only letters but articles, children’s lessons, newsletters, maybe even books. Blogs, at that point, were still misty decades in the future.

I'll not forget the day around 2001 when a verse in Proverbs leapt from the page: "Like cold water to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country." Proverbs 25:25 AMP I felt a weightiness in those lines. For I knew just how life-sustaining it was to get news from afar—standing in the post office line up as a college student, hoping against hope for a letter from home to assuage my homesick heart. Somehow, I felt the words of this verse were entwined with my budding dream to write, that I would one day write from the heart of my home and maybe for homesick hearts. The phrase 'a word from home' kept going around in my head. It seemed a right fit for my ministry of writing. Business cards printed in anticipation were, alas, rarely handed out—too scary to announce I was a writer. Still, they indicated another step forward on the path.

Months later I saw the advertisement for a Spring WorDshop mini conference in Calgary and registered for my first ever InScribe event. It was April 2002. Every word keynote speaker Kathleen Gibson shared that weekend about her own writing journey dropped like fresh manna into my heart. Drawn to her writings, I gobbled up her newspaper articles posted on a website, ever hoping I'd learn how to write with such grace and skill.

If there is one defining moment that really pushed me forward, it was the day I created my own blog. People on the web were talking about this thing called blogs. Intrigued, I headed to the library and hauled home any books I could find on the subject. One August day in 2008 I took the plunge and It’s A Beautiful Life was live to the world. Setting myself the challenge to write 100 posts in 100 days, I was on my way to establishing a daily writing habit. The blogging platform was appealing—it gave me immediate access to an online audience. I could write my piece and publish it then and there, no sending it away to wait months for news from some publication. I also loved being able to receive comments from readers as soon as the post was live—an instant connection could be established, the building of community underway. More than thirteen years now, it's still my favourite place to write and be in touch with my readers.

Today I celebrate all that my Divine Editor in Chief gave me when He opened the door and gently pushed me into a world of words—a world I never dreamed was possible for me. Step by step He led me, defining the moments He knew I needed to push me forward…. until one day I believed that I, too, could take my place as a writer for Him.

Inspired by the beauty of God's world around her, Brenda Leyland writes from her home in northerly Alberta, Canada. You can find more on her blog It's A Beautiful Life (beautiful.wordfromhome.com) and Facebook page.

(Top) Image by Petra Boekhoff from Pixabay

Marking the Defining Moments by Carol Harrison

 

What are some of the defining moments in my life and how do I mark and celebrate them?  I was reminded of a charm bracelet I used to wear. It contained charms denoting significant moments in my life like my engagement, wedding, and becoming a mother.

Only some major milestones are depicted on this incomplete record of my life’s defining moments. I could add other charms to represent being a grandmother, completing my B.Ed., being a writer and speaker or my love of reading. But what about my spiritual journey? What will mark these defining moments of faith in my life?

As I read through Scripture, God often asked his people to do something to mark the defining moment in their history. In Joshua 3 & 4 we read God stopped up the waters of the flooded Jordan river once the priests obeyed and stepped into it by faith. Once the people crossed safely, on dry ground, God commanded they mark this defining moment by placing twelve stones gathered from the river bed as a memorial for future generations to ask why and hear the story of God’s miracle. Do I share something about the defining moments of my faith journey so others can hear of the ways God works today?

One very significant faith journey moment happened as I stood beside Amee’s incubator, watching her in a coma, fighting for her life, I didn’t know what else to pray. Tears punctuated the brief, “Help me God. Help my baby.” I uttered silently and constantly. God met me that second day of Amee’s life in the middle of NICU and brought distinct images to my mind and spoke with a voice that seemed audible.

God posed three questions, one after the other, pausing for my answer in between.

“Do you trust me to heal her completely? Do you trust me to heal her a little at a time, giving the doctors wisdom in how to treat her? Would you still trust me if I healed her perfectly and took her home to heaven?”

My ‘yes’ answer to the first two took no time to proclaim. The third proved a struggle. I finally told God I would trust him no matter what.

Then came a picture of an open Bible with Philippians 4: 6 &7 highlighted.

Do not be anxious – oh how worry and anxiety had punctuated the last two days.

Present your requests by prayer and petition – I’d been doing that constantly and knew others prayed too.

With thanksgiving. My heart stopped. I hadn’t thanked God for anything during this nightmare.  I begged God to forgive me and thanked him for this beautiful baby girl. I had an ‘ah ha’ moment. Each child is a gift from God whether they are here for a short time or long and God loved her more than I ever could. My prayer changed. I gave myself and Amee to God; completely trusting him for whatever he chose to do and for strength to walk the journey he had planned.

And the peace of God descended and wrapped around me like a warm fuzzy blanket so real I expected to see one around my shoulders when I opened my eyes.

Nothing in Amee’s circumstance changed when I opened my eyes. She still lay in a coma. But I knew this moment with God had changed me.

I kept this spiritual defining moment guarded in my heart for years, maybe decades. Why was I silent? At first it felt too deeply personal to share with anyone else. I’d examine it in my quiet moments and remember what I learned. This turning point coloured so many aspects of my life and faith.

Later I wondered what people might think if I shared about seeing images from God and hearing his voice so distinctly. It was nothing like I had experienced before. When I didn’t share, others never had the chance to know that the God of the Bible is still God today.

God keeps pointing me to verses like Psalm 78:1-3 or Psalm 105:1-5 where he commands his people to share his goodness and his judgements too with the next generation. How can I not obey and share the stories of what God has and is doing in my life, even if they happened in ways, I was unfamiliar with?

Now I know I can commemorate those defining moments in my faith journey through my writing and speaking instead of keeping silent. I wonder if there are charms that could be a visual representation of my faith or these ‘ah ha’ moments of my life? 

 

Carol Harrison writes, studies, and tries to remember to share those defining moments of her faith journey from her home in Saskatoon. You can visit her website at www.carolscorner.ca
 

Faced with a Moment by Susan Barclay

There are defining moments and experiences in all of our lives. Such events determine or set us on our course. Some are completely of our control, things that happen even when we are in the womb; others stem from the way we process things or from choices we make in response to circumstances or desires. They can lead us down good paths or very detrimental ones. Either way, we can describe them as pivotal.

One day when I was a child my mom was angry with me for being careless. I had tripped over the cord of my grandmother's hand mixer and brought the mixer crashing to the floor. My mom yelled and her words pierced my soul. Sobbing in the bathroom, I decided in my 9-year-old heart never to let anyone wound me so deeply again. I sealed myself up and steeled myself against hurt. It was years before I allowed myself another good cry. To this day I struggle to be in touch with my feelings.

The things that happen in childhood are powerful. I once read somewhere that children are excellent observers but terrible interpreters. It's true, I think. If the incident I described had happened when I was more mature, I might have told myself, "She's probably having a bad day. Being a single parent isn't easy; she doesn't mean it--she just needs help" or "She's doing the best she can with what she's been given and what she knows." I might have done what I could to assist her in what she was doing or simply gotten out of her way until her mood passed.

I remember breaking up with my first long-term boyfriend as a young adult. In my late 20s, I was eager to be married and start a family. I said to myself, "I'm getting married next year." No matter what was the subtext. I was a believer and had also decided that I was going to be myself with the next guy and not twist myself into a pretzel to be what I thought he might want. That second part was fine, of course, but being a Christ-follower, I should have had the mind of Christ and His approach: doing nothing of my own accord but seeking God's will (ref John 5:30). Instead, it was a defining moment as I set out with a goal of finding a husband. Thanks to Him, and not to me, things worked out so that I married a good man who seeks after righteousness, and we're still happy together after more than twenty-five years, but my life could have gone very sideways.

The mind is a powerful force. What we focus on matters. Where we let our thoughts travel is significant. The power of life and death are in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) but what comes out of our mouths or shows in our behaviour first enters our minds. That's why Paul tells us in Philippians 4:8, "Fix your thoughts on what is true and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable." Scripture also advises us to think of others rather than ourselves and not to be selfish (Philippians 2:3). Knowing God's plans for us are for good and not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11) can help us to wait on His timing and trust He will provide what is best for us rather than take things into our own hands.

Moving on to defining writing moments, I remember being encouraged by my mother and teachers for my writing ability. I remember the publication of my first "book," a laminated and spiral bound collection of stories from my grandmother's childhood. Written in grade 6, it was added to the school library and borrowed by several children before I progressed out of the school and into junior high. It felt good to have a reading audience and to be asked questions about my work, and was no doubt influential on my desire to continue sharing stories with others. Teachers in junior and senior high school were also supportive and affirming--except for that one who told our entire creative writing class that we should consider a trade. Plumbing was respectable, said he! (Well, it is, but that's not what we wanted to hear).

9/11 was a defining moment in my "writing career" as well. Thinking about all those who lost their lives and recognizing the brevity of life made me ask if I was living the life I desired. I was working full-time as a librarian in a public library setting, which meant shiftwork and time away from my young children in the evenings and on weekends. I hadn't done anything really with what I felt was a gift from God: my writing fluency. If my life were to end right then, would He be happy with me? I discussed it with my husband and we decided to move an hour away from where we lived, where housing was more affordable, I could quit work, be home for my family, and write. 

It's true what they say about not quitting your day job. While I've had a few stories published and made a few dollars, if we'd been depending on me for an income, we'd be on the streets. After three years of being home full-time, I took a part-time job as a librarian in my new community. It works well for us and our children are now grown. But I do sometimes wonder if we made the right call. Though we've met some wonderful people here, we've also gone through some hard times. Would we have been better off staying where we were? Only God knows.

And that's the thing, isn't it? God knows what is best for us but sometimes we go off half-cocked, acting impulsively or according to our feelings, rather than consulting Him, reading the Word, seeking counsel from godly people in our lives. I'm not saying my husband and I did this with respect to our move, you understand; I'm talking more generally. I tend to be someone who does my homework, who is cautious in decision-making, rather risk-averse, stability-seeking. But I can still make mistakes. I can decide to wall up my heart so no one can hurt me, pursue my own desires without seeking God's will, and put the cart before the horse, thinking I'm doing a good thing.

If I could give anyone a piece of advice, it would be this from Lamentations 3:25-26: 

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. (The Message)

When you recognize a pivotal moment, stop, fix your eyes on the One who knows you, loves you, and has good plans for you. Ask what He says and wait patiently on His answer. He will never steer you wrong.

__________________________

For more about Susan Barclay and her writing, please visit www.susan-barclay.blogspot.com