A Letter to 16-Year-Old Me by Susan Barclay

 

Dear Sixteen-Year-Old Me,

You thought you would go to Sweden on your own this year. Ha! You’ll be fortunate if you get there before you’re too old to go. But put your mind at ease: 16 is far too young to go hotfooting around the globe on your own. And one day you’ll have a son who’s interested in Sweden, too. Maybe you’ll go together!

You also thought you’d be married by the time you’re 23. Nope. You won’t even seriously date until you’re almost 25. And then you’ll waste time on a commitment-phobe. Afterwards you’ll tell yourself, and you won’t be wrong, that no time is wasted if you learn something. You do learn something: never pass yourself off as someone you’re not to try to fit someone else’s mould. Even if you’re not perfect (see next paragraph), yourself is actually pretty great. God made you, right? He doesn’t make junk.

You know what else? Twenty three is pretty young to get married. It won’t seem so as you watch many of your peers marry sooner than you do. But comparison is the thief of joy, peace, and contentment. If I could give you a timely word of advice, I’d say don’t play that game. When you marry, you’ll choose someone who shares your beliefs and values, who’ll stick with you through all the ups and downs. He won’t be perfect. Big secret, neither are you (despite being pretty great – see above). It’ll be worth the wait to have a God-fearing person with whom to do life.

You’re already working in a library and that’s where you’ll spend your career. You’ll never lose your love of reading, acquiring books, and doing readers’ advisory. It’s parallel to the work you really want to do as a writer but it’s stable and more readily pays the bills. Sadly, you won’t develop good writing habits while you’re young and carry them throughout the busy life headed your way, but it’s never too late to start, or to start over. That applies to many things, not only to writing.

You’ll have two children, a girl and a boy. You’ll love and raise them as best as you know how. They’ll both walk away from God and the foundation you’ll raise them on. Don’t worry, though. Their salvation never depended on you. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job. Their journeys are their own. Those journeys will be a lot more mind-blowing than yours, but He’s got them just like He has you. He is faithful. You’ll learn to depend on Him and you’ll grow in Him. You’ll find He’s right there in the fire with you. He’s working, even when you cannot see. I have seen my faith made sight, so I know that this is true. He never stops working.

You’ll question some of the decisions you'll make, whether different choices would’ve produced different (better) results. Remember that hindsight is 20-20. Let go of regret and wishful thinking. You’re not one to rashly follow a path. You’ll do your homework; sometimes you’ll remember to pray about it. God won’t always make everything perfectly clear and you’ll go in a direction perhaps you shouldn’t have. Life is full of ups and downs. God gave you a free will and knew the decisions you would make. He works ALL things together for your good because you love Him and are called according to His purposes (ref Romans 8:28). He loves you and accepts you.

God loves you unconditionally, just like He loves everyone, but only those who receive Jesus get to spend eternity with Him. You’ve accepted Jesus already, even though at 16 you don’t have a complete understanding of what that means. You’ll understand it better by and by. The process of sanctification (transformation) takes a lifetime and that’s okay. That’s how God designed it. Receive His forgiveness for your mistakes and forgive yourself, too. Trust Him always. Cling to Him in times of trouble. He will see you through, and one day He will walk you Home.

Love,

Your older and wiser self

_____________________

For more about Susan and her writing, please visit www.susan-barclay.blogspot.com

Faced with a Moment by Susan Barclay

There are defining moments and experiences in all of our lives. Such events determine or set us on our course. Some are completely of our control, things that happen even when we are in the womb; others stem from the way we process things or from choices we make in response to circumstances or desires. They can lead us down good paths or very detrimental ones. Either way, we can describe them as pivotal.

One day when I was a child my mom was angry with me for being careless. I had tripped over the cord of my grandmother's hand mixer and brought the mixer crashing to the floor. My mom yelled and her words pierced my soul. Sobbing in the bathroom, I decided in my 9-year-old heart never to let anyone wound me so deeply again. I sealed myself up and steeled myself against hurt. It was years before I allowed myself another good cry. To this day I struggle to be in touch with my feelings.

The things that happen in childhood are powerful. I once read somewhere that children are excellent observers but terrible interpreters. It's true, I think. If the incident I described had happened when I was more mature, I might have told myself, "She's probably having a bad day. Being a single parent isn't easy; she doesn't mean it--she just needs help" or "She's doing the best she can with what she's been given and what she knows." I might have done what I could to assist her in what she was doing or simply gotten out of her way until her mood passed.

I remember breaking up with my first long-term boyfriend as a young adult. In my late 20s, I was eager to be married and start a family. I said to myself, "I'm getting married next year." No matter what was the subtext. I was a believer and had also decided that I was going to be myself with the next guy and not twist myself into a pretzel to be what I thought he might want. That second part was fine, of course, but being a Christ-follower, I should have had the mind of Christ and His approach: doing nothing of my own accord but seeking God's will (ref John 5:30). Instead, it was a defining moment as I set out with a goal of finding a husband. Thanks to Him, and not to me, things worked out so that I married a good man who seeks after righteousness, and we're still happy together after more than twenty-five years, but my life could have gone very sideways.

The mind is a powerful force. What we focus on matters. Where we let our thoughts travel is significant. The power of life and death are in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) but what comes out of our mouths or shows in our behaviour first enters our minds. That's why Paul tells us in Philippians 4:8, "Fix your thoughts on what is true and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable." Scripture also advises us to think of others rather than ourselves and not to be selfish (Philippians 2:3). Knowing God's plans for us are for good and not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11) can help us to wait on His timing and trust He will provide what is best for us rather than take things into our own hands.

Moving on to defining writing moments, I remember being encouraged by my mother and teachers for my writing ability. I remember the publication of my first "book," a laminated and spiral bound collection of stories from my grandmother's childhood. Written in grade 6, it was added to the school library and borrowed by several children before I progressed out of the school and into junior high. It felt good to have a reading audience and to be asked questions about my work, and was no doubt influential on my desire to continue sharing stories with others. Teachers in junior and senior high school were also supportive and affirming--except for that one who told our entire creative writing class that we should consider a trade. Plumbing was respectable, said he! (Well, it is, but that's not what we wanted to hear).

9/11 was a defining moment in my "writing career" as well. Thinking about all those who lost their lives and recognizing the brevity of life made me ask if I was living the life I desired. I was working full-time as a librarian in a public library setting, which meant shiftwork and time away from my young children in the evenings and on weekends. I hadn't done anything really with what I felt was a gift from God: my writing fluency. If my life were to end right then, would He be happy with me? I discussed it with my husband and we decided to move an hour away from where we lived, where housing was more affordable, I could quit work, be home for my family, and write. 

It's true what they say about not quitting your day job. While I've had a few stories published and made a few dollars, if we'd been depending on me for an income, we'd be on the streets. After three years of being home full-time, I took a part-time job as a librarian in my new community. It works well for us and our children are now grown. But I do sometimes wonder if we made the right call. Though we've met some wonderful people here, we've also gone through some hard times. Would we have been better off staying where we were? Only God knows.

And that's the thing, isn't it? God knows what is best for us but sometimes we go off half-cocked, acting impulsively or according to our feelings, rather than consulting Him, reading the Word, seeking counsel from godly people in our lives. I'm not saying my husband and I did this with respect to our move, you understand; I'm talking more generally. I tend to be someone who does my homework, who is cautious in decision-making, rather risk-averse, stability-seeking. But I can still make mistakes. I can decide to wall up my heart so no one can hurt me, pursue my own desires without seeking God's will, and put the cart before the horse, thinking I'm doing a good thing.

If I could give anyone a piece of advice, it would be this from Lamentations 3:25-26: 

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. (The Message)

When you recognize a pivotal moment, stop, fix your eyes on the One who knows you, loves you, and has good plans for you. Ask what He says and wait patiently on His answer. He will never steer you wrong.

__________________________

For more about Susan Barclay and her writing, please visit www.susan-barclay.blogspot.com

Sharing Stories by T. L. Wiens

I recently got the privilege of being my daughter’s birth coach. Nothing about this birth followed the rules I learned during prenatal classes with my daughter going into labour a week before the baby made an appearance. I know medical people like to refer to this as “false labour.” Midwives hate that term and won’t use it. I have to agree with the midwives. For seven days, my daughter had contractions that did not stop. It left her exhausted which tells me that her body was working very hard—nothing false about it. Together, we worked at breathing and trying different things for my daughter’s comfort. By the time we got to the hospital, we had a system. When it came time to push, the nurse stood back.

            “Mama’s got this,” she said as she held back her fellow nurse.

            And we did. I watched as my granddaughter took her first breath and let out her first cry.

So what does this have to do with writing? During this week long ordeal, I abandoned the medical expertise and started doing a lot of research. I went back to things I talked about with my mother and my own experiences with birth. I searched the internet for stories and information. It was during these searches that I read several entries in different blogs that upset me. What I found was a lack of older women helping the younger women. So many of the entries were scared first time mothers trying to help other scared first time mothers.

In Titus 2:3-5, it says “The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

It made me realize how blessed I am to have a mother who taught me, told her stories and passed on the lessons she learned. As a writer, I can now share her wisdom and add some of my own. There is a great amount of wisdom being lost because we are failing to teach and guide our daughters as the Bible instructs. It’s something I’m going to be more aware of and do my best to change.

How are you? - Ruth L. Snyder

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart." -William Wordsworth

It started at the breakfast table. After we read about what qualities God looks for in a person and how we should look beyond people's actions and appearances.

"You're dumb. I don't like you."

"I don't like you either."

"Mom, Levi's bugging me."

I sighed. My husband was already at work. "Are you guys being kind to one another?"

They gave me crooked grins and shook their heads. It was quiet for a few milliseconds before they were at each other,  again.

I took a deep breath and prayed for wisdom. The day before Steve Green's Hide Em in Your Heart had calmed them all. I put on the music. Today it didn't seem to make a difference for them, but it calmed me. I repeated expectations and separated two of the boys.

Time to write in agendas. I opened one up and read:

"Levi wore boots to school. Please make sure he wears shoes."

A thought flitted through my head. "I'd like to see her get five kids ready for school in the morning." I quell the urge to react.

"Sorry for the boots. By the time I realized he was wearing them it was too late to get him to change before the bus came."

"Mom, can I have an egg?"

Dorothy had already eaten cereal. She must have been hungry this morning, because usually she didn't want to eat more than a few mouthfuls.

"Sure." I fried an egg, then continued on to the next journal.

"Luke, did you make your lunch?" No answer. I found him in his room, playing. "Is your lunch in your backpack?"

He shook his head.

"Go get it done and then you can come play."

"My stomach doesn't feel good." It was Dorothy. The egg sat in her bowl, untouched.

"Go get dressed and then see how you feel."

Journal writing completed. Two lunches out of four made.

"What do you want for lunch today, Levi? There's some pizza in the fridge."

He nodded, then smiled when I handed him a slice.

I glanced at the clock. Ten minutes until the kids needed to go to the bus. Dorothy was still upstairs. I found her with her clothes heaped in front of her, still in her pyjamas.

"Need some help?"

She nodded. We worked together.

"Okay, go brush your hair and then we'll get your hearing aids in."

We both walked down the stairs. She went to brush her hair. I grabbed her hearing aids and placed them on the table. Levi's hearing aids were still sitting there. I found him heading out to see our dog, Olaf. I handed him the hearing aids and went to check on Dorothy. Across the house I heard Levi's hearing aids squealing. I finished with Dorothy, then went back to Levi. His hearing aids sat in the windowsill with both earmolds separated from the hearing aids.

"I don't want to wear my hearing aids today."

"Is there a problem with them?"

"I just don't want to wear them."

Jayson came up behind me. "I have the leash for Olaf."

"Okay, but I need to check on Dorothy first."

He followed me like a puppy. I didn't want him to follow me, but he wasn't doing anything wrong. I bit my tongue.

Dorothy had her hair brushed. We worked together on her lunch. Time to go.

Jayson and I went outside. Olaf wagged his tail and bounced around, happy to see us. It took me a couple minutes to get him to settle enough to get the leash on and unhook his chain. We walked down the driveway, stopping a few times for me to talk to Olaf and settle him. He seemed more energetic than normal.

We finally made it down the driveway. Luke had rubber boots on.

"What happened to your shoes?"

"I couldn't find them."

Great. I can already see the note I'm going to receive in the agenda.

Then, Levi came into view. He had boots on too - his older sister's boots. She's not around this morning, but I can imagine what she'd be saying if she were. Argh!

"Levi, you can't wear those boots. They're Grace's. Let's go change."

Levi, Olaf and I returned to the house. Poor Olaf didn't understand why he was being put back on his chain. He yipped.

I took Levi back into the house where we replaced the boots and he put on his shoes. I also found Luke's shoes. We walked back down the driveway, arriving just in time for Levi to get on the bus with his siblings. I placed a smile on my face and waved as it left.

Whew!

About twenty minutes later my husband found me at my desk.

"How are you?"

"This morning was challenging, but I'm okay." If he only knew, I thought.

(Maybe I'll get him to read this sometime.)

Serenity Prayer - full version by Terrie Lynne

Ever since I read the suggested theme topic, Taboo or Controversial Topics, for the month of March my mind has gone several different directions, but this morning I felt at peace that this is the article I want to post.

The Serenity Prayer is probably one of the most widely known prayers ever written. I have seen the short modified version on fridge magnets, mugs, and posters and it is commonly used in Alcoholic's Anonymous and 12 step programs. But, I wander how many people know the full version. I know I didn't until just a few weeks ago as I stumbled upon it quite by accident or perhaps a God incident maybe more accurate!

My hope is that, with all of the controversial topics that have been posted and the feelings and emotions that may come to the surface, this little prayer will bring some peace and serenity!

  SERENITY PRAYER

 By Reinhold Niebuhr - full version

God give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,

courage to change the things which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

 Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that you will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen

I have to admit I enjoy the second part of this prayer as much as the first and hope to delve a little deeper into it, perhaps as a devotional topic at a later date. I think we can find peace and serenity if we do try to live each day at a time and enjoy one moment at a time, whether it is during good times or in bad, happy times or sad. I do believe the scriptures encourage us to cast our cares on God for He cares for us. For me that is something I need to constantly remind myself to do!

Reinhold Niebuhr himself quoted yet another slightly different version of the first part of the prayer and it goes like this: 

O God and Heavenly Father,
Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed;

courage to change that which can be changed,

and wisdom to know the one from the other,

through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

Here is the version we are most familiar with:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

I hope you have been encouraged and blessed!

References: If you would like to learn more about the author, Reinhold Niebuhr, or the Serenity Prayer, you will find some good information on Wikipedia.