Community of Encouragers by Carol Harrison

 

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)

We all need encouragement in our daily lives. I have been and am blessed with a community of encouragers. One of my greatest encouragers was my husband, Brian. He believed I could do more than I thought I could possibly accomplish. He continually encouraged me to go and write even when I didn’t feel like it. I miss his encouragement every day more that I can express.

Yet, I am not without others who have and do encourage me even as I walk with grief which seems to put a block on my writing. A number of my grandchildren have encouraged me to branch out and try other genres or have helped design book covers or format for KDP. All of these things are encouragement. I can also encourage the grandchildren in using their talents with book cover design and formatting which I enjoy doing.

For the last two years, I have faced a block with writing and crafting. I don’t know why this has to be a season of waiting for inspiration or the desire to continue on a writing journey. Yet in the midst of this time, I have others who encourage me to try like my oldest daughter, Lorilee. We often discuss writing or my lack thereof lately. She encourages me to take a step forward and then another one. What can I do to discover what is holding me back? Then work through it and try writing something or editing something I’ve written long ago.

Maybe, she suggests, it is because I haven’t begun a project my husband had challenged me to write before he passed away. It will be a difficult project to write about journeying with him through his cancer. But it might also be a healing journey. I have started an outline and a rough first chapter and then put it back away. Maybe she is right and it is time to face it once again.

I also have friends who pray for me and encourage me. These dear friends keep telling me I have the ability to write. I just need to take the time to rest and then step forward one step at a time with the writing and crafting until the excitement returns. They get excited when I write something new or publish a piece. The encouragement makes me feel like someone cares how I am doing.

I have also been encouraged by reading the Inscribe blog posts and the authors' writings. The conference encouraged me as well. There are so many avenues of encouragement opportunities within our organization and that is how it should be.

The saying, “It takes a village to raise a child,” flits through my mind, and yet in this case for this prompt, I believe it takes a community of encouragers to help us as writers and believers continue on in the path God has set for us.

May you find a community of encouragers surrounding you.

 

Carol Harrison appreciates each person who has encouraged her on her life and writing journey. They are blessings from God.

Don't 'Dis' Encouragement by Sharon Heagy

Sunset at Pike Lake Saskatchewan

 "Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam,

Where the deer and the antelope play,

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,

And the skies are not cloudy all day."

(B. Higley - lyrics. D. Kelley - Music. Public domain)

Looking at the lyrics of the song above, I wondered, 'Does such a place exist this side of heaven?' I was tempted to point out all the things that may be wrong with the picture of serenity these lyrics create but then I considered the frame of mind of the composer. What a sacred space and a peace filled span of time he must have been experiencing. He had just moved to a cabin near West Beaver Creek and was inspired by his surroundings. My words would have been anything but encouraging.

When I was young I played a few sports including hockey and briefly baseball. My coach was the same for both hockey and baseball and she was quite committed as her daughter played on both teams. Being an average player myself,  any encouragement would give me a confidence boost and keep me going. She was a wonderful hockey coach and spoke words that increased the morale of the whole team, winning or losing. But when it came to baseball the story changed. Any mistake was pointed out and players were berated rather than corrected. Such a different environment than on the ice. We were all trying our best and many of us were just learning how to play.  It got to the point where those who had just joined ended up leaving the team after just a few practices and a couple of games. Please don't misunderstand me, she was a terrific lady who was dedicated to her family and their activities, but her encouraging and discouraging words had differing effects on the teams she coached.

Feedback on my writing has included both positive and negative comments. Negative comments are not necessarily discouraging. Pointed critique and criticism is valuable and improves my writing as long as it is presented in a constructive way with a little splash of grace and kindness. While it may give a little sting to my ego or a pinprick to my pride it is always profitable. It is encouraging! 

When writers of experience give you validation it helps you to continue. At an InScribe event in Saskatoon years ago, I was overwhelmed by the creativity and production of those in attendance and I wondered why on earth I was even there. By the end of the weekend I had learned a great deal and had some uplifting words to tuck in with my scribbled attempts which were asked to read out loud. Lingering a bit as people left I approached a table where a couple of the organizers sat, resting after their long couple of days. My plan was to thank them as I knew what it took to put together an event of that size and to keep it running smoothly. As I thanked them unbidden and surprising tears came to my eyes. They had given so much in time, knowledge and inspiration. They turned my heart from "I don't belong here' to 'Maybe I can write.' As I tried to regain my composure one of the women turned to the other and said, "This is why we do this." Those, like me, beginners floundering around looking for direction were worth their efforts. My heart filled to overflowing with gratitude. 

At a Saskatchewan Writer's Group experimental workshop event that ran once a month for a number of months and ended with a public reading with a payment. As I received my cheque I told the co-ordinator I felt like a real writer. She boldly looked me straight in the eye and said, "You ARE a writer." What a lift and confirmation that gave me.

Though many people have helped me dare to go beyond my comfort zone in InScribe, there is one lady whose continued faith in me has helped me to have faith in myself and I am sure she has done the same with others. 

I read and am grateful for every comment in response to my posts on the InScribe blog. Knowing how much those comments buoy me, I try to leave encouraging comments on the blogs of others and try to be mindful of specific parts that speak to me as Brenda Leyland has encouraged us to do. 

Having been encouraged in multiple and varied ways, there is a need and a duty to pass on uplifting and inspiring word to others. Just as our writing gift comes from God, steadfast encouragement, no matter the source, has the heart of God behind it. Like anything else God gives us, we are not to hoard it to ourselves but we are to share it with others. As I have been encouraged, so I should be encouraging. 

May you know that the words you write make a difference and touch hearts for God. 

"A man has joy in giving an appropriate answer, and how good and delightful is a word spoken at the right moment-how good it is!" Proverbs 15:23 AMP

"Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken at the right time." Proverbs 25:11 AMP

Sharon Heagy writes from the small but vibrant town of Rockglen, Saskatchewan, nestled in the valley near the Burning Hills. She writes to inspire and give hope with a chuckle or two along the way.

Twenty-Six Before Twenty-Six by Steph Beth Nickel

 

It may seem a little early to post about the upcoming year, but I recently came across Karin Nordin PhD on Instagram.

Each year, on November 1, she creates a list of things she wants to accomplish before January 1 of the following year. Note: To silence the perfectionist, this content creator says the purpose of the list is not to accomplish everything on it, and if we complete even one task, she encourages us to consider it a win.

While we are 12 days into November, there is still time to create our "Twenty-Six Before Twenty-Six" list.

I have included my list below. Hopefully, it will encourage and inspire you to make your own. Note: The following list is in no particular order.

1. Create a barebones outline of the rest of the YA novel I'm working on.
2. Write at least 25K additional words of this novel. (I'm participating in NovNov, ProWritingAid's answer to the now-defunct National Novel Writing Month [NaNoWriMo]).
3. As much as possible, clear my calendar of other responsibilities so I can write at least 1K words six days per week in November.
4. Complete the current draft of my novel before the end of the year.
5. If I get the draft completed, recruit at least three beta readers to give me feedback two months after receiving the manuscript.
6. Declutter our main floor. (My hubby will be laying new flooring throughout. So, this is the perfect opportunity to do so.)
7. Seek to sell at least some of the things we don't intend to take with us when we relocate in Saskatchewan.
8. Schedule Substack posts through the end of the year.
9. Schedule social media posts through the end of the year.
10. Prepare at least one manuscript for self-publishing.
11. Complete the revisions of my devotionals based on the gospel of John.
12. Write at least three guest posts for blogs I contribute to.
13. Work on plans for next year's InScribe writing contest.
14. Take my friend out driving at least 4-6 times. (She needs her license to get a job.)
15. Visit with another friend who is housebound.
16. Make significant headway on the book I'm coauthoring. (We are working on suggested revisions from the potential publisher.)
17. Do resistance training or Pilates 3+ times per week.
18. Go for a walk or hike at least twice per week.
19. Eat more fruit and vegetable.
20. Drink more water.
21. Cut back to one sugary drink per day.
22. Send Christmas gifts to kiddos, who live either out of the province or out of the country.
23. Prep and send Christmas cards by December 1.
24. Write a Christmas poem for my church family.
25. Get together with my "church son" and his family, as we do each year in late November or early December.
26. Connect with my sister at least once a week.

And since I wouldn't classify myself as a perfectionist, I will be thrilled if I get those 25K words written in November.

How about you? Are you going to create your own list? If so, what would be your top three priorities?

Steph Beth Nickel is the former Editor of FellowScript and the current InScribe Contest Coordinator. Steph is an editor and author and plans to relocate to Saskatchewan from Ontario to be close to family in 2026. (Headshot Photo Credit: Jaime Mellor Photography)

Photo credit for the graphic: Download New Year's Day, 2026, Greeting Card. Royalty-Free Stock Illustration Image - Pixabay

Finding Encouragement, Being Motivated, and Being Stimulated by Sandra Rafuse

 

Finding Encouragement 

"Therefore encourage each other and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." Thessalonians 5:11

I love this scripture verse. I am so encouraged when I read the kind and uplifting words that people write in the comments. . . they build me up! They reinforce my desire to write, they make me feel "I can do this". I find encouragement in all the blogs I read. The sharing of so many topics, so many feelings, so many experiences is amazing to me. And the humour that comes up. . . what would we do without it?

Being Motivated 

In his July post Alan Anderson wrote, "I think of my parents everyday." Those words had such a startling, powerful impact on me. I immediately sensed the love Alan had for his parents as I read that sentence and I thought to myself, when was the last time I thought of my Dad?  I mean really thought of him; dwelling on a memory or two, recalling what he looked like, hearing his voice in my head. It wasn't that I didn't love my Dad, it was that he had passed away in March of 1963. . .  almost 62 years ago. . .  and thinking of him has pretty much stopped happening. I don't know why but our family did not talk about him much in the years that followed and the memories we once had faded away. Several years ago I asked my three brothers what they remembered about him; it wasn't a lot. 

But Alan's words have motivated me not only to open up this topic with my brothers again but to also  contact the few relatives I have left who would have known him to ask them what they remember.  I'm not expecting much. Any thoughts would be good. And then I want to remind myself to think of him more often, and to start looking forward to seeing him (and Mom) someday in heaven. I want to bring him back into my thoughts; he's been out of them far too long.  (His name was Michael. My mom, Elaine, was buried beside him in July of 2007.)

Being Stimulated

When I finished reading Sandi Somers's blog for this month, "Stronger Together: A Community of Writers", I knew I was going to be reading it over several more times. Her post on the importance of community was a real eye opener for me. One part I found particularly liked was the blog post written by Jordan Raynor, "Without constant communion with other believers to refresh their eternal perspectives, Tolkien may have never completed the Lord of the Rings and Lewis may have never finished The Chronicles of Narnia. Like these creators before us, we need regular communion with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to renew our minds and refresh the lenses through which we view the world as we work." It was inspiring to read how Sandi started to be involved with community and where it led her.  

 

Sandra Rafuse lives in the small town of Rockglen, Saskatchewan, with her husband, Bob, a Gordon Setter named Sadie, and a Peregrine falcon named Peet. She is a retired teacher, an amateur writer, and  is enjoying having the opportunity to share what God has been teaching her through her life experiences.

Keep Writing — We Need Your Voice by Bob Jones

 

“Pastor Bob, keep writing about these issues. We need your voice.”

That one simple sentence was enough to breathe fresh wind into my sails. It encouraged me, stimulated me, and reminded me why I write.

Because I know what a single word of affirmation can do, I’m intentional about encouraging other writers too.

Encouraged

We hadn’t seen each other in over fifteen years. I was their pastor when they moved to South Africa for medically related humanitarian work. Recently, they returned to Edmonton, and we set up a coffee date.

We share many values and perspectives that sometimes leave us on the margins of our faith communities. Over coffee, we spoke honestly about the cost of those convictions—the price of speaking up, of advocating for others.

Then they said something that made me pause:

“Pastor Bob, keep writing about these issues. We need your voice.”

I was deeply moved. Knowing that my writing had offered support and encouragement to someone doing hard things reminded me that words really can make a difference.

At times, the pushback to my writing has been louder than the praise. But that one comment—from someone I love and respect—was enough to keep me going.

Stimulated

God often draws my attention to people on the margins and the challenges they face. I write to understand, to give voice, and to celebrate those who advocate for others.

When I listen long enough, stories emerge—stories that invite empathy, understanding, and hope.

Motivated

I launched REVwords in 2019 to communicate hope through stories of faith.

Most of my writing centres on mental health, resilience, and hope—with the occasional book or movie review thrown in.

Lately, I’ve been writing about the people I’ve met in Ukraine, the state of the Church, and issues like Christian nationalism, immigration, women’s leadership, and justice.

The Christian landscape of 2025 looks nothing like it did five years ago. Whether it’s the post-COVID ripple effect or the influence of alt-right politics, some expressions of Christianity have drifted far from the way of Jesus.

As Russell Moore recalled, when one pastor preached, “If someone strikes you, turn the other cheek,” a congregant shouted back, “Where did you get those liberal talking points?”

It’s a different world. And it’s never been more important to write truthfully—and graciously.

An Encouragement to Fellow Writers

It doesn’t take much to encourage a writer. I know—I am one.

A text.

A short comment on a post.

A one-line email from a reader who felt seen or understood.

That kind of feedback is fuel for the writer’s soul.

A writing friend recently messaged me, “Thanks for the encouragement to write. You’ve been very instrumental in my writing journey.”

And that—more than anything—is why I’ll keep writing and encouraging.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)

Thank you for reading.

I always look forward to your feedback and connection.

Drawn or Driven by Pattie Janzen

Please welcome Pattie Janzen as she joins us

once again as our Guest Blogger.

I was recently reading something in which the author, a friend of mine, expressed how she’d been gently drawn toward Christ many times. After reading her beautiful examples of this, I may have even verbalized my thought: 'You get drawn in; I get driven.' I couldn’t help thinking about the times God’s knocked me off my feet to get my attention.

One of the biggest examples of this happened 25 years ago. I rode on a rollercoaster one too many times and ended up springing a leak in my cerebrospinal fluid. This fluid circulates around the brain and spine and a perfect balance of this is important for our equilibrium, among other things. Unaware of what had happened, and after running around for days with an atrocious headache, my brain swelled and I ended up with a mild brain injury. In reality, I couldn’t fulfill my duties as a registered nurse for 18 months. Why? Because I couldn’t concentrate, read, watch TV, or even speak correctly for the majority of that time. The only treatment included a few medications that didn’t work, and lying flat in hopes that the leak would eventually seal. I’d been quite literally knocked off my feet.

Interestingly, the day before that happened, I’d prayed for something to change in my increasingly stressful life. God certainly came through with a resounding, “Yes! I’ll help!” It wasn’t in a way I expected, but He designed it perfectly, to prepare me for the two things that came next—one more immediately, and one a few years later.

Through exercises to regain my concentration, the beginning of my writing journey began with a weekly humour column, which I still write today. But that isn’t what I’ll expand on here. From early on, my husband and I had been concerned with our son’s lack of reading and writing skills. We spent many hours reading with him, only to see very little, if any, progress. His printing and attempts at writing also lacked form and structure, with no spaces visible between the words he struggled to pen. He was in grade 3 when a teacher finally admitted that he was having issues.

It would take reams of words to explain all the specialist appointments and tests we attended over the next few years. The result was always the same: Something’s wrong, but we don’t know what.

At some point, a psychologist suggested we ask our son what he saw when he was reading. I went home that very day, pulled a typed letter out of our mailbox, and placed it in front of him. My first request was that he point to the spaces between the words. He couldn’t. Then, I asked him to read me a few sentences before I stopped him and finally queried what the words looked like. “You mean the letters?” he answered. “Sure,” I said nervously. “You know, Mom,” he shrugged. “The letters move.” In my confusion, I’m sure I squeaked out something like, “What?” He smiled up at me then, as if it would be obvious since I knew how to read. “They jump up at me,” was his pleasant response.

In the moments that followed, all I could think was that this had been his normal. For all those years of sounding out the letters that made words, they’d been moving in front of his eyes. The whole time. Besides the guilt that poured through me for insisting he write and rewrite his many illegible assignments, all I could think was, 'How in the world has he been able to read or write anything? How could he concentrate at all?'

I quickly remembered how I’d had to retrain my brain to read, write, speak, and concentrate only a few years before. Since he was struggling even more in school, it quickly became clear that there was only one option to help our son best. Over the next three years, I homeschooled that sweet boy. I won’t say it all went smoothly, but at least God had given me a personal glimpse into what it was like to walk in my son’s shoes.

Sometimes God’s grace shows up in the strangest ways. It may even literally knock us off our feet. Although unpleasant at the time, now, when I’m travelling through the tougher stuff, I can’t help but wonder what God is preparing me for. Maybe I’ll need what I’m learning through my present pain, to help someone else. It might even be as simple as writing about it, to touch someone else’s heart.

As God’s children, there will certainly be times when He’ll more gently draw us to Himself. But sometimes, if you’re like me, you may occasionally require a more drastic approach—more like being driven toward Him. Either way, isn’t it encouraging to know that God never wastes our pain? He is incredibly good, whether we’re being drawn or driven.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NASB1995)

______________ 

Note: Today, we know our son’s condition is termed dysgraphia. It is a lifelong neurological condition and learning difference in which a person has difficulty writing at their age level. They may or may not have trouble translating thought into written words. (No wonder he aced those verbal exams!) There is no cure. Treatment focuses on management through interventions, accommodations, and exercises.

(Top) Image from Pixabay

PD Janzen (Pattie) is a published humour columnist, author of five emotion-filled Christian fiction novels, and an inspirational speaker. She’s married to Brian and they reside for half the year in Martensville, SK, and the other half at Good Spirit Lake Bible Camp, where they enjoy helping out all summer. They have three grown children and soon-to-be 14 grandkids. Pattie enjoys sharing encouragement and insights of God’s healing love through her blog at: pdjanzen.com

Stronger Together: A Community of Writers by Sandi Somers

 

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NIV)

As you sit at your desk typing your next paragraph or page, do you ever think that this solitary activity is only part your writing life?

What’s another part?

It’s your involvement in community. It’s one of the greatest values in a writer’s life.

All of us need to surround ourselves with a network of writing friends, other Christians who give each other caring support, stability and strength—and friendship.

"Without constant communion with other believers to refresh their eternal perspectives," wrote Jordan Raynor in a blog post, "Tolkien may have never completed The Lord of the Rings and Lewis may have never finished The Chronicles of Narnia. Like these creators before us, we need regular communion with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to renew our minds and refresh the lenses through which we view the world as we work."

My beginnings with InScribe

I realized how important community was when I joined InScribe in 2012. My first conference was spiritually refreshing, as the speaker and workshop leaders helped me to learn the craft of writing. It also opened up my life to new friendships and opportunities.

I gradually became more involved, entering fall contests and serving as secretary. Then I was asked to be lead writer for this IWO blog, coming up with new prompts and writing the first post every month. The prompts stretched my imagination and writing skills and helped me look at new ways of thinking about my faith and writing. All through the nearly 12 years I’ve been posting here, I’ve been encouraged by others who write supportive comments and reflect on how something I’ve said relates to their own situations and stimulates their own growth.

Developing community

About nine years ago, another opportunity for community opened up. I began leading an InScribe local writers’ group. I had made a couple of attempts earlier, but now the Lord prompted me to begin again. In our first meetings, we all didn’t know each other and we felt tentative. Gradually as our comfort level improved, we began critiquing each other’s writing, sharing successes, and praying for each other.

During the COVID-19 shutdown, we met via Zoom meetings—a more challenging and limiting endeavour. When restrictions were lifted, it was so refreshing to meet in person, and we spent most of the first meeting catching up with each other!

How community has made a difference

Since that time we’ve grown, and I’m amazed at how we’ve become friends, have helped each other with writing. As we critique each other’s work—fiction, nonfiction, and poetry—we’ve gained ability to give insights and suggest strategies in the different genres. Each writer brings special skills in areas such as editing, coaching, sharing spiritual insights, and providing encouragement when we have questions about the writing process.

At our last monthly meeting, I looked around at our writers and was surprised at how much we’ve expanded our repertoire. For each other, we’ve been beta readers, editors, layout and cover designers. We’ve become almost a complete publishing industry in ourselves.

We’ve also begun a three-times-a-year group writers’ retreat, where we meet for a day at a designated location. We’re freed from home responsibilities and distractions so that we can give concentrated time to our writing projects.

Our lives, too, have strengthened each other as we’ve progressed through personal obstacles, challenges, and opportunities. Recently we’ve all had critical family or personal health issues or family complexities. In our time together and at home, we’ve devoted more thought in praying for each other.

Our connections have become more strategic as we’ve become encouragers who help each other find courage to become the people and writers God intends us to be.

Conclusion

All writers need a positive community to flourish, where our writing is respected and nourished. Such a community is crucial to our success as writers and growth as persons.

What about you? How have your writing communities helped you to become stronger together?

 

Sandi Somers is always challenged by new topics and ways to approach writing. She also explores ways to encourage others as she writes about seasonal activities, prayer, God's marvels in the world and in writers, and ways to grow our spiritual lives. She writes from her home in Calgary.

Encourage One Another by Brenda J Wood

Encourage One Another

E - Edit your words.

(Psalm 141:3)

N - Never give up.

(Galatians 6:9)

C - Comfort one another.

(1 Thessalonians 5:11)

O - Overcome setbacks.

(John 16:33)

U - Undertake for others.

(Galatians 6:10)

R - Remember to be kind.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

A - Address the issues.

(Matthew 18:15)

G - Give it all you have.

(Mark 10:21)

E - Entertain angels unawares.

( Hebrews 13:2)

(Top) Image by RachH from Pixabay

Brenda J Wood has authored more than fifty books. She is a seasoned motivational speaker, who declares the Word of God with wisdom, humour, and common sense.

Words to Encourage by Lorrie Orr

 

November: Encourage Each Other

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” I Thessalonians 5:11

We are writers together in God’s kingdom; what a blessed place to be. This month share how you have been encouraged, stimulated, and motivated by others to write, or how you can be an encouragement to fellow writers.

I write because I must. Thoughts flow from my brain to my hand to paper or screen. Writing clarifies my thinking and gives my emotions an outlet. I write for myself, for my sanity. I also write for others. I write to connect. Blogposts mostly, some devotionals, and currently, a memoir. How do I know if I'm making a connection?

On my blog there have been some nasty comments with pointed remarks that make me wonder if it is someone who knows me in my real life. Perhaps not. Those comments scrape me a little, but do not cut me. I have learned to delete and ignore them. Now I have comment moderation enabled so that no one else has a chance to see them.

Conversely, when someone says they enjoy my writing, that they find my words beautiful, or challenging, or interesting, that they provoke some sort of emotion, I am thrilled. Recently I received a private message from someone I do not know. She wrote, "I wanted to let you know how much I like your blog and IG. I hear encouragement in your words. Your messages are uplifting at a time when we need it most." My heart was softened by her words.

So often I think I am sending words into the void. But there are people reading my words, finding solace and encouragement. Is that not also why I write? To assure people that no one is alone, that we gather around a common table, that we live life together. That grace and mercy flow in an unending stream and God's heart is always for us. That in this world of brokenness there is healing and wholeness.

As I am encouraged by others, I also want to affirm the words of other writers that speak to me. Reading inspires all sorts of emotions, from laughter to tears, and joy to sorrow. Telling a writer how their words have affected me encourages them and makes me thankful. Anne Frank, a young Jewish girl in hiding during WWII wrote "I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn." Anne never knew how many people would read her words. She wrote for herself, but intended one day to publish. Sadly, her life was cut short and she never saw the impact her diary would have on the world. I wish I could tell her how much I enjoy her book, and how it has made me think. Let's not lose the opportunities we have to encourage other writers.

Lorrie writes from Vancouver Island where the leaves alternately

fly off the trees in golden sunshine or lie sodden on the ground

under rainy skies. Excerpts from her memoir, Life is Short but Wide

can be found at SubStack, and her slice of life writing at her blog.

Her writing can also be found at 

Fabric Paper Thread

SubStack

 

The Things that Shape Us by Mary Folkerts

 

"Reuse, rethink, recycle—and perhaps relive? Sometimes, when we revisit our past, certain memories are stirred awake that have lain dormant for years. It can be restorative to embrace the emotions triggered by those events, as time and distance often help us process them with more clarity.

And as we process, we uncover nuggets of truth that remain as accurate now as they were then; truths about God's faithfulness in difficult times. As our hearts are encouraged by the remembering, we can use these nuggets to weave encouragement throughout our writing."

It was on a Tuesday in October 1978 that my husband Art's family experienced a tragedy that changed their lives forever. The siblings reminisced about that time on Messenger a few days ago, which led Art to recall his memories of being a twelve-year-old boy in grade 7.

The day started like any other. Art got ready to catch the big yellow bus that would take him down the gravel road to the small local school. His parents were preparing to go to a doctor's appointment in the big city, expecting to be back later that evening.

That afternoon, Art returned home from school, but when supper time came, his parents still hadn't returned. We imagine (Art's memory is fuzzy on some details, so we fill in the gaps) that Mom left food in the fridge for him and the hired man to warm up. All evening, Art waited, listening for the sound of tires crunching on gravel, signaling his parents' return. Finally, it was time for bed, so he turned off the lights and went to sleep. Tomorrow morning, he planned to ask them about their long day in the city.

Morning broke to a silent house. Throwing back the covers, Art hurried upstairs, and to his surprise and dread, the kitchen was empty. Mom wasn't packing lunches or preparing breakfast. Where were they? There had been no phone calls explaining their absence. What had happened?

With these questions and a sense of dread hanging over him, Art prepared for school. What was a twelve-year-old to do but continue his routine?

School must have dragged on long for him that day. I can only imagine the thoughts and fears swirling in his mind. It was unlike Mom and Dad to keep their plans from him.

That afternoon, as the school bus lumbered to a stop and before the doors snapped open, Art stood, grabbed his lunchbox, and ran up the driveway to the house. Still, the house stood empty.

Did panic set in? What would a boy of twelve think in a moment such as this? True, he wasn't entirely alone on the farm as a hired man lived nearby — but that offered little comfort. Where were mom and dad? Did he consider calling someone? Did he think of calling his older sisters, who lived far away in another city? Art doesn't remember.

Then, shortly after he arrived home, he suddenly heard tires on the driveway! Quickly, Art ran to see who it was, and with relief and joy, he saw it was his older brother, Fred, and his wife, Margaret. Eagerly, he ran out to greet them, but when he saw their faces, joy turned into confusion. And then there was Mom with them. What—?

Unbeknownst to Art, another trauma had unfolded in the city. Dad had completed his appointment, and the doctor had given him a clean bill of health, but during lunch at a restaurant near the hospital, he suddenly started having seizures. He was rushed to the ER, where they eventually diagnosed a burst brain aneurysm.

We will never know exactly why no word reached Art until Mom came home twenty-four hours later. Maybe it was shock; perhaps she didn't want Art to find out something was wrong while he was alone. Each of Art's siblings has their own story about how and when they learned that Dad was gravely ill.

Dad did survive, but he was a shadow of his former self. He lived another 20 years with his disabilities.

Art says that life changed for him, too, that day.

Sometimes it's helpful to revisit life-defining moments. Art felt the emotions of the young boy he once was, and it still brought tears for the trauma he endured. I hurt alongside him, imagining little Art, scared and alone. It may seem strange, but I believe it can be healing to go back to our childhood, to our places of pain, and to love on the child we once were.

Any trauma, especially childhood trauma, shapes us. It can have a devastating impact if God's love isn't poured into those wounds, because an open wound will continue to fester and bleed. But when healing occurs, the things that could have broken us only make us stronger and more compassionate.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28 (NIV).

Mary Folkerts is mom to four kids and wife to a farmer, living on the southern prairies of Alberta, where the skies are large and the sunsets stunning. She is a member of Proverbs 31 Ministries' COMPEL Writers Training, involved in church ministries and music. Mary’s blog aims to encourage and inspire women and advocate for those with Down Syndrome, as their youngest child introduced them to this extraordinary new world. For more inspiration, check out Joy in the Small Things https://maryfolkerts.com/ or connect on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/maryfolkerts/