Faced with a Moment by Susan Barclay

There are defining moments and experiences in all of our lives. Such events determine or set us on our course. Some are completely of our control, things that happen even when we are in the womb; others stem from the way we process things or from choices we make in response to circumstances or desires. They can lead us down good paths or very detrimental ones. Either way, we can describe them as pivotal.

One day when I was a child my mom was angry with me for being careless. I had tripped over the cord of my grandmother's hand mixer and brought the mixer crashing to the floor. My mom yelled and her words pierced my soul. Sobbing in the bathroom, I decided in my 9-year-old heart never to let anyone wound me so deeply again. I sealed myself up and steeled myself against hurt. It was years before I allowed myself another good cry. To this day I struggle to be in touch with my feelings.

The things that happen in childhood are powerful. I once read somewhere that children are excellent observers but terrible interpreters. It's true, I think. If the incident I described had happened when I was more mature, I might have told myself, "She's probably having a bad day. Being a single parent isn't easy; she doesn't mean it--she just needs help" or "She's doing the best she can with what she's been given and what she knows." I might have done what I could to assist her in what she was doing or simply gotten out of her way until her mood passed.

I remember breaking up with my first long-term boyfriend as a young adult. In my late 20s, I was eager to be married and start a family. I said to myself, "I'm getting married next year." No matter what was the subtext. I was a believer and had also decided that I was going to be myself with the next guy and not twist myself into a pretzel to be what I thought he might want. That second part was fine, of course, but being a Christ-follower, I should have had the mind of Christ and His approach: doing nothing of my own accord but seeking God's will (ref John 5:30). Instead, it was a defining moment as I set out with a goal of finding a husband. Thanks to Him, and not to me, things worked out so that I married a good man who seeks after righteousness, and we're still happy together after more than twenty-five years, but my life could have gone very sideways.

The mind is a powerful force. What we focus on matters. Where we let our thoughts travel is significant. The power of life and death are in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) but what comes out of our mouths or shows in our behaviour first enters our minds. That's why Paul tells us in Philippians 4:8, "Fix your thoughts on what is true and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable." Scripture also advises us to think of others rather than ourselves and not to be selfish (Philippians 2:3). Knowing God's plans for us are for good and not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11) can help us to wait on His timing and trust He will provide what is best for us rather than take things into our own hands.

Moving on to defining writing moments, I remember being encouraged by my mother and teachers for my writing ability. I remember the publication of my first "book," a laminated and spiral bound collection of stories from my grandmother's childhood. Written in grade 6, it was added to the school library and borrowed by several children before I progressed out of the school and into junior high. It felt good to have a reading audience and to be asked questions about my work, and was no doubt influential on my desire to continue sharing stories with others. Teachers in junior and senior high school were also supportive and affirming--except for that one who told our entire creative writing class that we should consider a trade. Plumbing was respectable, said he! (Well, it is, but that's not what we wanted to hear).

9/11 was a defining moment in my "writing career" as well. Thinking about all those who lost their lives and recognizing the brevity of life made me ask if I was living the life I desired. I was working full-time as a librarian in a public library setting, which meant shiftwork and time away from my young children in the evenings and on weekends. I hadn't done anything really with what I felt was a gift from God: my writing fluency. If my life were to end right then, would He be happy with me? I discussed it with my husband and we decided to move an hour away from where we lived, where housing was more affordable, I could quit work, be home for my family, and write. 

It's true what they say about not quitting your day job. While I've had a few stories published and made a few dollars, if we'd been depending on me for an income, we'd be on the streets. After three years of being home full-time, I took a part-time job as a librarian in my new community. It works well for us and our children are now grown. But I do sometimes wonder if we made the right call. Though we've met some wonderful people here, we've also gone through some hard times. Would we have been better off staying where we were? Only God knows.

And that's the thing, isn't it? God knows what is best for us but sometimes we go off half-cocked, acting impulsively or according to our feelings, rather than consulting Him, reading the Word, seeking counsel from godly people in our lives. I'm not saying my husband and I did this with respect to our move, you understand; I'm talking more generally. I tend to be someone who does my homework, who is cautious in decision-making, rather risk-averse, stability-seeking. But I can still make mistakes. I can decide to wall up my heart so no one can hurt me, pursue my own desires without seeking God's will, and put the cart before the horse, thinking I'm doing a good thing.

If I could give anyone a piece of advice, it would be this from Lamentations 3:25-26: 

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. (The Message)

When you recognize a pivotal moment, stop, fix your eyes on the One who knows you, loves you, and has good plans for you. Ask what He says and wait patiently on His answer. He will never steer you wrong.

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For more about Susan Barclay and her writing, please visit www.susan-barclay.blogspot.com

How to Date Your Editor by Pamela Mytroen

Remember your first dates? Do they make you cringe at all? I remember my very first date. We were going to an evening event. I dressed casually in dress pants and a pink sweater. He picked me up in a three piece pin-stripe suit and tie. Awkwaaaaaard! It was too late to go back and change and he said it was okay, but I felt a little funny all evening by his side. The next time we went out we communicated about what to wear and we both felt more comfortable.

The first article you publish in a magazine or a newspaper is a little like a first date with your Editor. You really don’t know fully what he expects of you and he doesn’t understand your style yet. It’s like being picked up in a truck with hay sticking out the tailgate when you were hoping for a Delorean. You read the article you’ve been looking forward to and you turn red and bite your lip.

I look back on some of my first articles and they made me a little disappointed or even upset. One of the Editors took out my last two paragraphs, put her own ending in, and changed the whole style of my article. Another first article came out with several spelling mistakes, and yet another one included a poem that I had not written and it endorsed a false theology. Wow, I felt the heat in my face.

Now sometimes there are unforgivable characters that we must ditch after that first date, but in most cases, it just takes some time and a few fumbled dance steps until we get to know which way the guy is leading. It’s the same with Editors. If we quit writing because of that first bumbling article, we are missing out on what might have turned into a wonderful and profitable relationship.

In looking back on the above mentioned articles I wrote, it wasn’t entirely the Editor’s fault. The blame needed to be shared between both of us. If I had continued writing for these Editors I would have become more aware of their expectations and they may have come to appreciate my style and input as well.

As I consider the newspaper that I’ve written for for several years, I realize that we had some rough moments at first too. We both had misunderstandings of each other. But as I continued ‘courting’ my Editor and sending her more articles, I became more aware of the way she thought about things, and what she valued and wanted from me. I grew to have enough confidence to make suggestions, and we began to trust each other.

Think of your first articles. Were you disappointed and quit writing for that Editor? Maybe it just needed a little more time to work out some of your differences. Have you ever considered going back to write for those markets again? Send the Editor another piece or two. Maybe there’s still a spark there. Just don’t give up after that first date!