“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”--Ephesians 5:31.
I pondered the writing prompts
for this month for days to prepare for the post. My life is blessed with many
defining moments. Each is a story, an unfolding of chapters in my life. For
this post I decided to write on one defining moment.
My Marriage
Next to my life as a
Christian, marriage is my greatest defining moment. Marriage, the most intimate
relationship between a woman and a man. A precious life shared by two people
who cannot live without each other. This is how I see my marriage.
Years ago, when I was a young
pastor, our church membership included several older married couples. I often
watched them interact with each other. I viewed them like models of the
evergreen trees I see every day and throughout the years.
My wife Terry and I live close
to mountains and farms. Evergreen trees clothe the mountains which shelter the
animals and birds native to the area. They encounter storms which seek to tear
them apart. They endure pounding rain, freezing temperatures of winter, and
scorching heat of summer. Through all this, the evergreens stand against the
elements like fierce warriors.
The married couples I
mentioned earlier were like these evergreen trees. As my relationship with
these older couples matured, their stories taught me to stand firm in
commitment to my marriage. Terry and I faced challenges through the years, and
our marriage is stronger. In May 2022 we look forward to celebrating our
forty-fourth wedding anniversary, Lord willing.
Marriage brings times of dance
and romance. Believe me, I am not a model of a dancer. When
certain music comes on, the wannabe dancer in me comes to life. I will grab
Terry’s hand and show her my dance moves. For whatever reason, this always
gives her reason to giggle. Perhaps this is a time for her to giggle at my
wiggle.
Romance isn’t only for the
young. Now I am older, I still see a need to perfect how I romance my wife.
Romance, perhaps aside from the more physical intimacy, can be expressed in
other ways. When I cook Terry a special meal, I invite her to sit back and
enjoy the time. I still open doors for her and pull her chair out for her when
we go to a restaurant for dinner (although this doesn’t happen often during the
pandemic.) A favourite name I use for her is, “my darling.” Sometimes I look at
her without her knowledge and think, “Wow, I am a blessed man!”
Marriage brings times of hugs
and tears. Terry and I have both mourned the death of our parents. We
also shed tears when five of our grandchildren went to heaven before they
reached birth. We are adult orphans and grandparents who grieve.
We cherish our life together
through the times of dance and romance and the hugs and tears. Hugs and their
closeness bring smiles in the times of laughter, tears, and the between times.
Believe me, I am a big hugger.
Marriage embraces me like a
warm, intimate hug without end. Marriage also absorbs into my skin and covers
me with my wife, my children, my grandchildren, and memories of those loved.
Alan lives in Deroche, B.C.
with his wife, Terry. He contributed stories to Good Grief People by Angel Hope
Publishing, 2017; Story by Story: The Power of a Writer, Unstoppable Writers
Publishing, 2018. Alan has also written articles for FellowScript Magazine.
Blog: https://scarredjoy.ca.
Alan has written blog posts for our InScribe blog since 2015.
