Courageously Cultivating Connection by Joylene M Bailey

 

Image by Anthony Scanlon from Pixabay 

One early morning last week, I stepped out onto our deck into the quiet country air. As I walked around the corner of the house, the quiet was eclipsed by a chorus of coyotes from across the lake. Just before I turned back to go inside, a cock began crowing, joining forces with the coyote community. Maybe he thought he was a crowd-pleasing crooner, but my imagination, which is seven years old at the best of times, concluded he might be seeking connection... aww he needs a chum.

Maybe it's lonely being a rooster.

Sometimes it's lonely being a writer, even for this highly introverted one. We need connection with other writers (as well as publishers, editors, and agents), not only to make our work better, but to confirm again and again that this craft that calls to us is indeed worth our time and pursuit. That our readers are out there, awaiting our content.

Connection for writers takes cultivation, and courageous cultivation at that, especially for introverts. It's hard to put oneself out there. All kinds of thoughts go through one's head - What makes me think I even deserve to be here? Can I even call myself a writer? - to name only a couple.

The first time I ever met with a writers' group, I abashedly told them, yes I've written some children's stories. My friends and family like them, but they are very kind. I expected, I suppose, to have these seasoned writers blast me with a cutting and condemning critique. Only, they didn't. And I blossomed from my cocoon.

Since then, I've been involved in writing conferences and contests. I started a writing cohort, inviting other writers into my home. Each of these acts required continuing courage on my part in order to cultivate the crucial connections to further my work. In the end, it was enjoyable and gratifying. So worth it. Like-minded individuals encourage us and spur us on.

Which brings me to a cautionary caveat: be sure to find like-minded people to encourage you on your way. I would calculate that a cock consorting with coyote choirs could be considerably calamitous for the chicken.

There's a fine line between constructive critique and condemning criticism. So, find a congenial community (like InScribe!), or at least a compatible writing buddy. The connection will make all the difference.

Image by svklimkin from Pixabay 

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P.S. If you concluded that I challenged myself to use as many c-words as possible, you'd be correct. Extra credit for you! (And a lot of chuckles for me.)

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Joy is currently carousing with kids of her kids, but normally resides in beautiful lake country with the Cowboy and Chara, and a cat named Rhubarb. Find more of her Joy-infused writing at Scraps of Joy.

Where Writers Meet Friends by Susan Barclay

The best thing about writing conferences from my point of view are the networking opportunities and inspiration they provide. Although I always take notes during courses and workshops, in the long run they don’t often do anything to change my writing process or technique. This is because I don’t usually review the notes, retype them, or immediately begin to apply what I’ve ‘learned.’ But the people I interact with – why, they become friends, e-mail buddies, co-labourers, encouragers – and in the long run, that’s just as (or more) valuable than any writing improvements I might gain.

At my second Write! Canada conference, I met Lisa. She lives fairly close to me and her nephew and my son were actually in the same kindergarten class. Lisa and I have been getting together for regular breakfast dates for 13 years now. Our friendship is close to both our hearts.

At the same event, I met two other aspiring authors. We didn’t interact much at the time, but years later, we’ve become part of the same writers’ critique group. For the last four years we’ve been investing in each others’ work, encouraging each other along the way, bettering our skill. In addition, I’ve contributed to C’s monthly e-newsletter a couple of times and copy-edited one of H’s novels.

An editor at one conference told me my work was in the ‘top 10%’ of what crossed her desk every day. Elsewhere a writer-in-residence affirmed ‘you are a writer.’ A college-level writing instructor said, ‘you have something to say.’ All of these encouraged me to keep pressing on.

For me the best part of a writing conference or workshop are the relationships that can develop. Where would we be without mentors, role-models, motivators and friends?

Local Connections by Rohadi

I've attended conferences before, but I can't recall one that was particularly memorable. They seem to be a great way to generate new ideas and maybe even spark new momentum/excitement. I remember a decade ago at a ‘Leadership Summit’, a fantastic resource that benefitted, ironically, my small business, yet was largely irrelevant for the intended application—church. I’ve been to numerous church planting conferences, but those have been more of chance to visit a new exciting city (although I still don’t know why I went to Dallas…), over listening to a particular speaker. Ultimately, the conference experience hasn't provided me with any source of significant insight. Maybe I’m attending the wrong ones….

One can certainly get caught up in the excitement of the conference fanfare. In particular, seeing how people with similar problems found wild success doing steps A, B, C. Inspiring, perhaps, but generally speaking the same people go to the same conferences to hear the same results over and over again. Application of the celebrated examples lacks. (After all it's easier to consume new ideas and hear about them vicariously, it's quite another to do something about your new idea.)

Conferences can turn into the 'junk food' of your field: awesome when you consume the first bites, but lack substance and impact over the long haul. Turns out it takes a lot of work and unique circumstance to go from zero to hero and we tire at the thought before we even get started.

But there's something that can't be consumed in tactics or strategies, and perhaps is the single reasons why you should ever attend a conference to begin with--developing new relationships.

Developing new connections with like minded people that will last beyond the 2-4 day conference affair is not only critical, but provides the greatest potential for lasting impact. Not only are relationships key to making the conference experience a win, sometimes we don't have to venture far from home to find what we're looking for.

We usually attend a gathering to garner insight shared by ‘experts’ in the field. Assuming you live in a major city, you may be surprised to find, hidden amongst 1+million people, are local experts.

For example, as I venture further into the realm of church planting and leading change in a post-Christian world, the re-emphasis of the local expert is proving invaluable to development. It’s not necessary to seek out the American guru on a subject that requires unique insight to specific context. It’s far more insightful and beneficial to be collaborators building new ideas tailored to your city or neighborhood with local leaders who can offer insight and complement your weaknesses (and vice versa).

Chances are you can find someone nearby to share ideas, expertise, and praxis, which is what the very best conference experience could ever hope to offer.


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Catch Rohadi at his blog on church, community, and culture. Check out his recent adult colouring book: Soul Coats.