Letter to My Younger Self by Dana-Lyn Phillips

Being a teenager is hard but it’s not going to last forever. In fact, your high school years will be over in the blink of an eye. Soon you will be making big life decisions so for now, just relax and enjoy the ride. Focus on friendships, and relationship building, because one of these friends will be with you for life. (Spoiler Alert: It’s not the cute boy from History class that you will pine over for four years.)

Don’t be self-absorbed and fail to look around you. Notice that your friends, who are doing all of those things you refuse to do, are just crying out for attention because they come from unstable families. Some, through the dark of night, and behind closed doors, are actually going through the unimaginable.

Although your family has challenges of its own, with a handicapped father and a mother who needs to work long hours to provide for her family, you are loved. Your family is emotionally healthy and your friends sense it. They gravitate towards your home. Open the doors and let them in. I know that because you are an only child, sharing is difficult, but you can share your parents because they have enough love to go around.

Before you know it you will be applying to college. You’ll be a step ahead since you have known, for years, exactly what you wanted to be and your high school courses have all been planned accordingly. Your grades won’t be stellar but you’ve got this. Don’t let your co-op advisor deter you, or make you feel like you’re not good enough. He may think you need to be a man to be an Architect, but show him he’s wrong.

I would suggest that when you apply to college - DON’T JUST APPLY TO ONE! Apply to a few so that if (rather when) you don’t get into your first choice you have options. Don’t be discouraged, know that God has a better plan than the one you imagine. Just go with the flow.

Fast forward…

As you turn thirty years old you will look back over the previous ten years and recognize they did not go according to your plans. Yes, you graduate but the economy ruins your dreams of continuing in architecture. You return to school multiple times striving toward new dreams but all of those programs and diplomas will fall short. They will end up being a waste of time and money. They certainly won’t bring you the joy you’re looking for.

You’ll gain stable employment but non-profit wages won’t sustain you long-term. You will eventually stop focusing on your career and begin to focus on the only true dream you have for this lifetime — a husband, who puts the Lord first, and at least two children (because you know what being an only child is like). Don’t give up on this dream but be patient as it won’t happen as early as you would like it to.

You have a habit of never just enjoying where you are. You’re always focused on the next thing you want out of life. As you date, you will be focused on marriage. Once married, you will long for children. Once the kids come, you will watch over them as they sleep, wondering how you’re ever going to make it through and be a good mom. Trust me, it all works out in the end and you end up with a couple of amazing kids.

Eventually, you will reflect on life lived and accept that it didn’t end up the way you imagined it would. You’ll realize, it turned out better. There is One who has bigger and better dreams for you, and He has a way of working things out according to His purposes for your life.

In fact, what would you think if I told you that one day…you will be a writer?

 

Dana-Lyn is a wife, and mother to teenage boys as well as a 14-year-old cava-poo named Hockley. She is passionate about encouraging Christian women in their faith and is stepping into her mid-life "calling" as a writer. Her happy place consists of a comfy chair, a great book, a hot cup of coffee and a chocolate…or three! You can read more of her work at https://plansfargreater.substack.com

A Letter to 16-Year-Old Me by Susan Barclay

 

Dear Sixteen-Year-Old Me,

You thought you would go to Sweden on your own this year. Ha! You’ll be fortunate if you get there before you’re too old to go. But put your mind at ease: 16 is far too young to go hotfooting around the globe on your own. And one day you’ll have a son who’s interested in Sweden, too. Maybe you’ll go together!

You also thought you’d be married by the time you’re 23. Nope. You won’t even seriously date until you’re almost 25. And then you’ll waste time on a commitment-phobe. Afterwards you’ll tell yourself, and you won’t be wrong, that no time is wasted if you learn something. You do learn something: never pass yourself off as someone you’re not to try to fit someone else’s mould. Even if you’re not perfect (see next paragraph), yourself is actually pretty great. God made you, right? He doesn’t make junk.

You know what else? Twenty three is pretty young to get married. It won’t seem so as you watch many of your peers marry sooner than you do. But comparison is the thief of joy, peace, and contentment. If I could give you a timely word of advice, I’d say don’t play that game. When you marry, you’ll choose someone who shares your beliefs and values, who’ll stick with you through all the ups and downs. He won’t be perfect. Big secret, neither are you (despite being pretty great – see above). It’ll be worth the wait to have a God-fearing person with whom to do life.

You’re already working in a library and that’s where you’ll spend your career. You’ll never lose your love of reading, acquiring books, and doing readers’ advisory. It’s parallel to the work you really want to do as a writer but it’s stable and more readily pays the bills. Sadly, you won’t develop good writing habits while you’re young and carry them throughout the busy life headed your way, but it’s never too late to start, or to start over. That applies to many things, not only to writing.

You’ll have two children, a girl and a boy. You’ll love and raise them as best as you know how. They’ll both walk away from God and the foundation you’ll raise them on. Don’t worry, though. Their salvation never depended on you. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job. Their journeys are their own. Those journeys will be a lot more mind-blowing than yours, but He’s got them just like He has you. He is faithful. You’ll learn to depend on Him and you’ll grow in Him. You’ll find He’s right there in the fire with you. He’s working, even when you cannot see. I have seen my faith made sight, so I know that this is true. He never stops working.

You’ll question some of the decisions you'll make, whether different choices would’ve produced different (better) results. Remember that hindsight is 20-20. Let go of regret and wishful thinking. You’re not one to rashly follow a path. You’ll do your homework; sometimes you’ll remember to pray about it. God won’t always make everything perfectly clear and you’ll go in a direction perhaps you shouldn’t have. Life is full of ups and downs. God gave you a free will and knew the decisions you would make. He works ALL things together for your good because you love Him and are called according to His purposes (ref Romans 8:28). He loves you and accepts you.

God loves you unconditionally, just like He loves everyone, but only those who receive Jesus get to spend eternity with Him. You’ve accepted Jesus already, even though at 16 you don’t have a complete understanding of what that means. You’ll understand it better by and by. The process of sanctification (transformation) takes a lifetime and that’s okay. That’s how God designed it. Receive His forgiveness for your mistakes and forgive yourself, too. Trust Him always. Cling to Him in times of trouble. He will see you through, and one day He will walk you Home.

Love,

Your older and wiser self

_____________________

For more about Susan and her writing, please visit www.susan-barclay.blogspot.com

A Letter to My Way Younger Self by Bob Jones

The February prompt is to write a letter to your younger self. What advice would you give?


Dear Bob:

Congratulations on landing your first assignment in pastoral ministry. You've been given a sacred opportunity. Your new role as an assistant pastor will demand more of you than anything else in life. This role is way more than a job; it is a calling.

You will put in long hours, sometimes seven days a week. At the beginning you won't know what you're doing but that's OK. You'll feel that way for every new major challenge that God calls you into. Bible College trained you to parse Bible verses but not to deal with the complexity of human interaction. You will run programs not people.

No matter what happens, people are never the problem. The problem isn’t even the problem. How you look at the problem is the problem.

Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff.

The most important person in your life is your wife, Jocelyn. She will be with you day in day out for decades. In due time you'll leave your first congregation and enter into a new ministry opportunity and Jocelyn will be there with you for that. She is the only person you'll carry forward, aside from your firstborn son.

Pay attention to Jocelyn. She is God's best gift to you. She is smart. She is good.

She wants you to succeed and she will do everything she can to help you achieve that.

Listen to her. She has insight about people that you don't have. Trust her judgment. She is intuitive.

She loves you. Put her first. Make time for her. Quantity and quality time. Do your best to understand her. Live at peace with her.

Have fun with her.

Together, you will walk through the deaths of your parents, and life-threatening illnesses, and travel to dangerous places. Hold hands all the way and hold each other tight.

You will be privileged to journey with stellar leaders through plans and projects to the glory of God. Your labour will endure. You will see a harvest of souls from the seeds you will sow.

You will walk many congregants and community members through death, devastating trauma, and grief. Those experiences will be God’s training to prepare you for your own personal losses.

Your lifetime will pass by seemingly at the speed of light. Just as the scriptures advise us, “our days are but a handbreadth.” Live in the moment. Treasure every day. Start with Bible reading, prayer, journaling, and coffee. Always coffee.

Your collection of the front pages of newspapers from Canada and around the world will end up in the garbage. The books you purchased for your study will be given away to younger leaders and a Bible college library. The Coca-Cola bottle and can collection that will eventually define your office space will end up on other people’s shelves. But the relationships you develop, the leaders you call up and invest in, and the people that you share Jesus with will last eternally.

Settle your priorities early.

You can't put God in the centre of your church or your marriage or your role. But you can put God in the centre of your life and that choice will affect everything else.

All work and no play will make Bob a dull boy.

So, listen to Jocelyn, take time off, relax, and make use of all your holidays every year. The church will survive without you. Put your hand into a bucket of water and then draw it out and the hole that remains defines how indispensable you are.

God is for you. No matter how dire the circumstances, or how much you doubt yourself, God is for you. Walk in that truth. It will sustain you, give you grit, and keep your heart and mind quiet and at rest as you trust Jesus.

God bless you, Bob.

Your friend,
Bob

 

I had a lot of fun writing this. That's what writing should be all about. Thank you for the prompt.

I'm grateful for the life and wife and family and friends and opportunities God has given me.

How about you?