Conversations with God - Marnie Pohlmann

“People who say they hear God’s voice are crazy!”

I looked up from my desk and responded to my co-worker, who had come in from dealing with a drug-abusing client.

“Um, some are, yeah. God speaks to me all the time.”

“But not in an audible voice.”

“Well,” I said hesitantly, “Sure. In a lot of ways. Sometimes with a hit upside the head.”

“But he doesn’t tell you to do crazy things.”

“God guides me, and some people might think the path is crazy. I am married to a pastor, you know, and I do work here.”

We laughed. He turned to go back on the road.

“Remind me sometime to tell you about when I met God,” I called after him.

That conversation was a while ago now, but I have often pondered how I would respond should the subject come up again. Has God audibly spoken to me? How does God speak to me? The evil one tries to imitate God, and I sometimes act like I am God, so do I know what I hear is God’s voice, God’s direction?

My memory of salvation at a summer Bible camp includes the form of a man sitting beside me, explaining this was my choice, and if I chose to follow Him, He would never leave me. I understood during that conversation the choice did not mean a change in my situation, but I knew I would somehow be protected with His presence in my life.

Jesus? An angel? Perhaps just the imagination of a child creating a memory among so many missing memories? Whatever your theology on the matter, God’s invitation was and is clear. Follow Him. He will never leave you, and His presence makes all the difference.

I’ve also heard God speak to me through songs. Even when I strayed down a stony path, God reminded me through an often-played song, of His presence as He waited for me to follow Him once again.

Many years later the words of a different song began a conversation between God and me about what the song meant at that moment. “It is Well with My Soul.” One of my husband’s favourite hymns began to play as I drove along.

“So, God,” I asked anxiously, “does that song mean the ambulance I just saw is for Wally? Is it well with his soul? Because he is now with you or because he’s alright and not hurt?”

“What did I tell the disciples?”

“That the other disciple’s story is none of their concern.”

“Right.”

“So, Wally’s wellness is none of my business?”

“Right. Is it well with your soul?”

Comfort washed away my anxiety (most of it). Yes, no matter what happened to Wally on that motorcycle, my soul was well because God was ever-present with me.

Three years later, I sat alone in the hospital waiting room. I hadn’t read that day’s devotional, so I opened the app on my phone.

            For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and

says to you, “Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13 NIV)

“So, after the mammogram and the magnified mammogram, this ultrasound will confirm they are looking for cancer?” I asked.

“Yes, there is cancer.”

“Okay. As long as you are holding my hand.”

The peace at that moment was beyond anything I have known since. God was with me and that would make all the difference.

The story was different after another three years as I stood beside a hospital bed, weeping.

“God, please don’t take my man. I need him. I don’t know how to live without him.”

“This choice is not yours.”

“I know. But I’m not strong enough to handle this,” I argued.

“Am I with you?”

“Yes.”

“Am I with him?”

“Yes.”

“Will you trust me?”

“I can’t fight you. If you want him now, I know it will be right whether I like it or not.” That was as far as I was willing to go at that moment, but I felt the Lord’s arms wrap around me as He stood beside me once again.

It took a long time, years, to give in to God on this. Even though Wally’s cancer and complications did not kill him, and I still enjoy life with him beside me, (40 years next spring!) I was almost resentful that God would treat him - no, me - like that. The fear of abandonment was deep and brought up all sorts of hidden emotions and thoughts; unhealthy thoughts that were buried deep that I once again needed to work through to separate the lies from the Truth. It’s not an easy battle, and it continues to wage on.

Isn’t that the point, though? God is with me and will walk beside me, and even carry me, through this earthly life. Jesus has saved me, so my soul is well. The Spirit does teach me Truth. Yet the question remains and is probably the most important aspect of hearing God’s voice.

How can we be sure we are hearing God’s voice?

We are very good at wanting to go our own way, finding any justification to convince ourselves it is God’s guidance. However, God has provided practical tests that will confirm or deny that we are in God’s will, responding to His guidance, and hearing His voice.

Test 1.

Does what we are hearing line up with Scripture? First and foremost, do we know what God has said in His Word so the Spirit of God can remind us of God’s view? The Bible has been preserved throughout time for a reason.

Test 2.

Have we prayed? Have we opened a conversation with God, believing He will respond to us? How God responds may look different for each of us. Am I listening for how He might talk to me?

Test 3.

Only after talking to God and considering His Word do we go to others for their opinion. And not just any other. This is not a time to collect a team of yes-men, but to seek out other Believers who you respect and trust to ask discerning questions about what you are hearing.

Test 4.

The last test - not to be used before the others - is circumstance. Have you laid out a fleece, and perhaps even laid it out again, as Gideon did in Judges 6? God can use our situation to lead us, to open and close doors, but I reiterate, do not depend on your circumstances to be God’s voice. Know His voice, first.

“Only crazy people hear God’s voice.”
Call me crazy, then. Do you hear God calling your name? 

I hear God’s voice. Do you?

Marnie Pohlmann writes to share the difference made in the life of one who listens to God's voice. Hard of hearing at times, she continues to learn Truth.

God is Present in Every Circumstance by Lynn Dove

I was going to Aquacise three times a week in preparation for swimsuit weather in the summer.  This was going to be the year I was finally going to take charge of my increasing waistline, get in better shape and become much more active.  That’s not to say I wasn’t active before, but I thought starting my 6^th decade, it was time to think about the retirement years coming up and I was in such serious denial about it, I wanted to push the hands of time backward a bit!  I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions, but I felt duly motivated to get a membership in January to our local sports centre and faithfully began swimming three times a week.  I was winning the bulge battle and I was feeling great…until the first week of April.

I didn’t understand why I wasn’t dropping weight.  In fact, I was actually starting to feel uncomfortably rotund in the tummy region.  The ballooning bulge became more and more burdensome; I wondered if there was some kind of obstruction, and within two weeks of experiencing pain and discomfort I reluctantly called my family doctor.  Within days of that meeting with the doctor, I had an ultra-sound, a CT scan, and was booked to visit a surgical oncologist at the Tom Baker Cancer centre in Calgary. 

To say I was shocked by this turn of events was a vast understatement.  I had been cancer-free for just about nineteen years, after breast cancer in 2001.  Now I was facing another cancer diagnosis, with the discovery of a large fast-growing mass on my right ovary.  With my past health history, everything seemed to be fast tracked for me to get in to see doctors, finally ending with extensive surgery to remove the mass on May 13^th. 

Where was God in this?

He was EVERYWHERE!

I had no way of knowing what these last few weeks (and the months ahead) would hold in store for me but God did.  Being prone to blood clotting issues, I needed to be in good shape to endure the rigours of surgery and to be able to heal quickly afterwards.  God used a friend to nudge me into going with her to an Aquacise class in early January.  It was so much fun and kick-started my fitness goals that helped strengthen my body and made me stay the course right up until April.  Doctors said it was “remarkable” how quickly I have bounced back from surgery.  I credit some of that to the months of exercise leading up to surgery.  Who knew?  God did!

When my discomfort began, I was ready to just chalk it up to normal aches and pains associated with working out harder than I had before, but when the pain persisted, I prayed for direction and felt prompted to call my doctor.  As much as I thought the wait was a long and excruciating one to get in to see doctors and finally undergo surgery, it was just over six weeks in total.  That’s pretty quick in the health-care scheme of things!  Through that waiting time, the Lord spoke to me through His Word daily.  He gave me peace in the midst of uncertainty and laid on the hearts of so many people to pray for me.  The prayers continue!

One of my biggest disappointments was having to cancel our 40^th Anniversary cruise.  I actually wrote about my excitement leading up to that cruise on the InScribe blog in March.  “We've had our share of many peaceful cruises on life's ocean, intermingled with some unexpected tidal surges and rough waves over these past forty years.  Still, we keep walking hand in hand, looking forward, full speed ahead, our eyes focused on the horizon and praying for calm waters in the years ahead.” I had no way of knowing when I wrote that post that another storm surge was coming up for us so soon, but God did!  My husband had been pro-active in getting trip insurance and all the costs were covered so we could recoup all monies spent.  I was still upset about not going on this “trip of a lifetime” but then we started to think about the “what ifs?”

What if I had gotten sick overseas?  What if I had to be admitted to hospital in Rome?  The more we added up the “what ifs?” the more we praised God for His impeccable timing.  Here at home, I got the medical help exactly when I needed it!  Had I elected to set sail and ignore the nagging symptoms rather than seek help when I did, well, that’s a “what if?” I don’t like to ponder upon right now. 

Of course, I have experienced my share of “down” days during the waiting period leading up to surgery.  I will no doubt experience more lows in the weeks and months ahead as I come to terms with a new cancer diagnosis.  There were times before my surgery when I felt disheartened and too weak and vulnerable to move, let alone to write.  I specifically asked friends to pray, and I felt those prayers envelope me like a warm hug.  On one such day, I asked God to encourage me and within hours I learned I was up for two Word Awards that celebrates Christian writing in Canada.  It was such a timely encouragement for me that it instantly propelled me out of my emotional doldrums, and has revitalized me in ways I never imagined.  (I have gotten clearance by my doctor to fly so I am able to attend the Gala in Hamilton.  I am beyond excited to be there!")

God has surrounded me with caring individuals who have fed us and even cleaned my home!  I am so thankful for those practical ministrations that allow me to rest and recover.  I am thankful for an army of prayer warriors who lift me before the Lord daily.  I will have challenging times in the weeks or months ahead, but I know God is with me.  He never leaves me or forsakes me, and I can trust Him in every circumstance!

Lynn Dove is the award-winning author, of the YA “Wounded Trilogy”- a contemporary Christian fiction series with coming-of-age themes.  A wife, mom, grandmother, and free-lance writer with articles published in several magazines and anthologies including Chicken Soup for the Soul books, her blog, “Journey Thoughts” is a Canadian Christian Writing Award winner.  Readers may connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and at lynndove.com  

I Can See (More) Clearly Now - Marnie Pohlmann

The saying "Hindsight is always 20/20" may not be true if we don't take the time to look back for the lessons the past can teach us.

I admit there are things in my past I do not enjoy looking back to. I have needed to look back at past pain to heal my damaged emotions and self-concept. The exercise is not pleasant, yet it is necessary and may be necessary again in the coming months so I can see more clearly.

I have tried looking only at good memories, or fun stories my siblings have told, yet I cannot help but see the painful memories that bookend those times. These dark moments are part of my life and part of what has molded who I am today. However, the light of God's presence is also part of my life and who I am. Of course, this truth I didn't see at the time, but as I look back, I can see more clearly now.

As a little girl, I was afraid of the shadows that came out at night when the house went silent. The comfort of a small bookmark with a shining cross pinned to my wall, I can see now, was letting me know that even though what I feared still approached, God was hiding my face in His chest. God was present in my darkness, connecting with me. (This is the inspiration for my blog, Phosphorescent.)

A few years later at Bible camp, God revealed Himself to me in a new way.  I understood what was happening in my dysfunctional Christian home may continue, but God would be with me if I wanted Him to be. I said, "Yes, please," and invited Jesus into my heart. God was connecting to me amid life’s confusion.

As a teen, I was making plans to run away from home. Before I could run, my parents took my younger brother and me from BC to Ontario to visit some of my brothers. I took the opportunity to get a job and stay in Ontario, sharing an apartment with my brothers while I finished high school. The unwritten rule of the apartment was that if I was not at school or work, I was at church. I joined in youth events that included memorizing Scripture and writing for contests. God was directing my path, connecting with me.

As a young married lady, I learned to drink coffee - and liquor. We played slow-pitch with a partying group of friends and went to the bar to drink and dance. It seemed that every time we were at a party the song "Spirit in the Sky" would be played. This song is not about God, yet never failed to remind me that the Spirit, God, was in the bar, disappointed but not judgmental, just letting me know He was with me. Even in drunkenness, God connected with me.

Eventually, God caught my attention more fully, and then that of my husband. In many ways, God directed our paths as we healed in one town, grew in faith in another town, and finally went to train at Bible School in a city. The whole story is too long to go into here, but God changed our focus from Chaplaincy to Pastoring. God led us to our small church in northern British Columbia where we had desired to live even in our partying days. We were unaware of the church until God introduced us to it through non-believing friends! God continued to connect with me in unique ways He knew would reach my heart.

I see more clearly now when God connects with me. For example, God used my husband's favourite song, "It is Well with My Soul" to assure me in a frightful situation that it was well with my soul because God was with me.

 In 2013 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had surgery and radiation, and was prescribed Tamoxifen for the next 5 years. Over the next 2 years, I had more surgeries for cancer concerns that turned out to be benign. In 2016 when another cancer concern came up I chose to have a bilateral mastectomy to put an end to surgery.

During those years I had also developed Seasonal Affective Disorder;

I began experiencing symptoms of secondary Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from my job, which was compounded with the resumption of PTSD triggered by my childhood;

I felt medications I was taking, especially the Tamoxifen, were contributing to my depression and anxiety; 

During my mastectomy, my husband found out he was quite ill and months later was diagnosed with lymphoma so needed chemo - before and during his treatments complications brought him close to death several times;

As a Federal employee throughout all this, I was caught up in the "Phoenix fiasco" that continues to affect the pay of thousands of government workers.

Wally is presently doing well, and physically I am as also. I still struggle with mental health issues though and continue to reach out for help. I can see (more) clearly now, some of the ways God has connected with me through this dark time - and they are amazing! I will write about them all at some point, but this post is already longer than it should be.

Have you taken the time to look back, no matter how difficult, to see when God has connected with you? Perhaps as believers, we see this more clearly, but unbelievers can also become aware of God's presence in their past and present. He is never far away. Seeing God gives hope for the future. God reveals Himself in ways that are uniquely meaningful to each one of us.

God wants to connect with you.

*photos compliments of CCO license, Pexels.com and Pixabay.com

Marnie writes to show God is present, and that makes all the difference. 

You can connect with Marnie at Phosphorescent.

One Of Those Years by Marnie Pohlmann

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. 
(Proverbs 16:9 NLT)

Have you ever had a time when nothing goes as planned?

Checking my writing goals for this year shows 2016 is one of those years for me.

I did not set specific goals this year, as I explained in my Missing Pieces post last January, but I did still make a list of writing items I hoped to accomplish.

•     Continue contributing to this Inscribe Writers Online blog once each month.
•   Set up my own blog and post once each week.
•    Go through my old diaries and journals to glean anything that could be helpful to others.
•    Write my Circus book.
•    Complete a Christian Literature Survey course.
•    Participate in writing contests.
•    Attend Inscribe’s Fall Conference.

So how am I doing?

Epic fail!

I have made small progress on some items, but overall, life has interrupted my writing.

For months I have been struggling with a tsunami of situations that bring mental, emotional, physical and spiritual waves of distress. There is seemingly endless upheaval within my family’s life.

I am not alone. Others, too, have had a year of stretching their faith – health, housing, finances, friendships. The very joys that make up life are also the trials of fire each of us must walk through.

Am I stressed by it all? Of course! Yet there is also peace in the midst of this chaos, and even laughter.

I have not succeeded at my writing goals, but I am still able to write words, and even better - I am living the Word!

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (Romans 4:2-5 NLT)

I am learning to trust that God has the details under control. He is present in the midst of our storms.  I am learning to hold my plans loosely so God can direct my path.

I don’t know how the story of 2016 will end, but I know "The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights" (Habakkuk 3:19 NLT)