Lord, Bless the Children--Part 2 by Sharon Espeseth

Jenny with Newborn Baby Caleb 

For the October prompt, we were asked, “What hot button issues has God invited you to become involved in?" I also take that to mean, “What issues are you passionate about?”  In "Lord, Bless the Children--Part One," I talk about my passion for the well-being of children, which may be why I taught for three decades.

My husband and I have raised our three adopted children. Although they are all independent, they know we are here and will help as we are able. We have supported and encouraged our adult children and their spouses in the raising of their children. 

Together, Hank and I have supported one overseas child at a time since 1975. 

Could we have done more for the world’s children? No doubt. But we are thankful we’ve had the ways and means to contribute toward the well-being of some children and their families, as well as our own children and grandchildren. 

As I also mention in Part One of this writing, I am pro-life, not in the sense that I judge others who don’t have the same views as mine. I am, however, eager to advocate for the life of an unborn child. 

Looking Back

Today there is more assistance for not just unwed mothers, but any woman with an unplanned pregnancy-- any woman or young girl who is in need of counselling and/or assistance, if they choose to keep the child. We give donations to a group that supports women with unplanned pregnancies. I have walked in local pro-life marches. 

I’ve had articles, stories and articles about our family and our adoptions published in newspapers and magazines. I’ve written in the hopes that women who are in a pregnancy predicament can think of alternatives to abortion, including adoption. Below are summaries of a few of my published stories.

Lacey is one more to love

1. “One More to Love” was published in Celebrate Life Magazine.

When our daughter Christie was pregnant with her and Donnie’s third child, the doctor asked Christie if this was “a planned pregnancy.” Christie sort of giggled and said, “No, it wasn’t.”

Before the end of the appointment, the doctor picked up her appointment book and said, “We’ll have to book your abortion.”

“Abortion?” Christie said. “I never said anything about an abortion.”

On hearing this story, one of my sisters said, “I don’t think anyone in our family will ever have an abortion.” Such is the family’s respect and gratitude toward our kids’ birth mothers who chose to give them the gift of life.

2. “Special Gift, Special Delivery” was published in Celebrate Life Magazine. This story was also shortlisted in the Non-fiction category of the Word Guild Contest the following year. Another version of the story, with other details and more farm humour, was published in The Western Producer.

For Jenny’s third pregnancy, she and Rob had invited me to be with them in the delivery room when the baby arrived. The doctor had decided Jenny should be induced, so the schedule was set. I went with her for this “induction” procedure. Hank had dropped us off at the Grey Nuns Hospital in Edmonton. The nurse said we were free to go, but told us we should phone the nursing station every two hours. 

The rest of the adults--Rob, Hank, our daughter Christie and her husband Donnie were in charge of the kids at Jenny and Rob’s place in Leduc. Hank picked us up so we could join them. Jenny, uncomfortable at this point, went for a bath to relax her. Rob looked after her. After her bath, they came downstairs where Jenny slumped her not-so-tiny body into the closest chair. “I’m not going to make it,” she said.

Her announcement triggered a flurry of activity: 9-1-1, blankets, towels, and a pillow for making Jenny comfortable on the carpeted floor, not far from the front door. That’s when little Abbie woke up. Donnie put a coat on his daughter and whisked her off to Bella’s Hallowe’en party at Kindergarten, thus giving Jenny some privacy. Logan was still napping in the crib upstairs.

Christie, the most experienced or qualified in birthing took charge. Since she had given birth to her daughter Abbie and had delivered several litters of piglets on our small farm, no one argued. Hank sat on the floor and gently stroked Jenny’s forehead and held her hand. 

I’d been racing frantically around the house. I even suggested boiling water. “Not unless you want tea,” Christie quipped. Jenny calmly told me to sit down, shut up and hold on. (Those were her original instructions for me when I nervously about being in the delivery room.) “This is it!” she said. 

Sitting down beside Hank, I was awed by the whole experience. Just as Christie announced the baby was coming, three EMTs walked through the door. Because of the courtesy rule of “Ladies First,” the female EMT caught Baby Caleb. The professionals took it from there.

Later, I told Christie that, had the EMTs not arrived in time, she could have done this. 

Shrugging her shoulders. Christie smiled teasingly at Jenny and said, “It just like birthing pigs.”

 3. "A Gift that Keeps on Giving,” was published in “Offerings” in the Edmonton Journal. 

Updated to 2020. Our three children, now in their early forties, continue to be the gifts that keep on giving. Our two daughters are married, so we’ve also been blessed with their husbands as part of our family.

Michael and Hank

Christie and Donnie now have three children and Jenny and Rob have three children. We are, therefore, Papa and Nana to a “pride” of six grandchildren. Our Michael, who lives on his own in Calgary, is also a big part of our family. One of the kids named him “Unto Mito,” which we still hear occasionally, even though we have no more baby talkers.

                                                               

Isabella's Graduation
Proud Supporters: Caleb, Rob, Jenny, Logan

Back: Sadie, Abbie, Donnie
Front: Lacey, Teddy, Christie

Hank and I are proud of our three adult kids, the sons-in-law and the grand ones. I wrote the first version of this blog--the one my computer and/or Blogspot turned into gobbledegook--in October, which is the Canadian month for Thanksgiving. We consider our family to be one of our greatest blessings. Normally, we love to get together with the bunch. Sadly, those visits are restricted due to Coronavirus numbers rising. We pray for the day when we can freely spend time with family. For now, we are careful and follow Covid guidelines.  

Thank you, Dear God,  for our families and loved ones, for the gift of life, and for those who support life and realize its importance at all its stages. Amen.

Lord, Bless the Children--Part 1 by Sharon Espeseth

Jesus with young children
Adobe Stock Free image

Jesus Loves the Little Children

"The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: 'Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and me. These children are at the very centre of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in. Then gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them. (Mark 10:13-16 The Message).” 

 

Teaching 

For my first year of teaching, I was assigned to teach 24 grade three students in a small three-room school in a small town. I “adopted” these kids and vowed to do the best I could for each of them. Each year, I “adopted” a new batch of kids and committed myself to teaching them to the best of my ability. Knowing I needed more education to meet the varied needs of my students, I continued taking evening and summer classes at the U of A. 

Being single, I had the opportunity to live and teach in different communities in Alberta where I gained experience. My niche became the primary classroom, and maybe reading recovery programs. 

In 1974, I moved from Fort McMurray back to Edmonton, where I could take more courses at U of A. I also taught Resource Room students half-time in Alex Taylor. Teaching in this inner city school with Steve Ramsankar, a nationally recognized educator, as my principal was an amazing adventure. I loved teaching kids to read and to unlock the treasures in written material.

Sharon in the Classroom

Changes in the Status Quo

My return to Edmonton was for only one year, because 1974 was also the year I met Hank. We were married the next summer and Barrhead became my more permanent home. Hank knew I enjoyed teaching and working or spending time with kids. He listened when I told him I longed to have  children of my own. “If for any reason we don’t have children," I added, “I’d like to adopt.” He didn’t walk away.

After 18 months of marriage, we still didn’t have children. Married at 31 years, I may have been impatient. I reminded my  husband about our "pre-nuptial discussion.” When I came home from school the next day, adoption papers were on the table. We filed our application with Social Services in mid-January, 1977.

Adoption

In May of that year, I got a letter from the Department of Social Services saying I'd need to resign from teaching, effective June 30, in order to qualify for adopting an infant. We were surprised. Somebody, and we believe it was God, knew something we didn’t know. 

Realizing I’d be leaving the classroom indefinitely, I got to work with report cards, packing my own teacher files and material, and getting everything in order. On the morning of June 29th, a teacher work day without students, Hank came to school to help me take my “teaching stuff" home. 

When Hank arrived, he told me he had news to tell me, but first he asked for a private place where we coul sit down. I couldn’t read his facial expression. Was he excited? Worried? Sick? We stopped in a small workroom off the hallway. That’s where he told me we were going to be receiving a baby. Not soon, but tomorrow. 

We needed to travel several hours to pick up our first baby, almost newborn, the following morning. Our social worker had previously advised us not to buy baby things ahead of time as we wouldn’t know the size or the gender of the baby until we got the call. After a quick shopping scramble and a friend’s promise of a shower within a few days, we were on the road travelling south.

Arrival after Arrival after Arrival

Next day, we were bringing our first child, Michael, home less than six months after submitting our adoption application  His arrival caused quite a stir for us and among our family and friends. In fact, when we got home to Barrhead, the Espeseth’s had started arriving for a July 1 family reunion. Guess who was the star of that show? 

One year later, Christie, also just weeks old, joined our family without the family reunion, but with equal fanfare. She was introduced to the Augustson family at a picnic in Red Deer. Jennifer was almost six months when we were called away to receive her--our third child--into the family. The enthusiasm of Jenny’s older siblings only increased the hubbub of her arrival at Betty and Leon’s, where they waited for their new sister.

Within two years and two months from our first application, Hank and I had become the parents of three young children. God had listened to my longtime prayer, which was now our prayer, to have children of our own. 

Backyard picnic with 3 muskateers

Hank and I were ecstatic. Then came the first day Hank went back to work and I realized exactly how busy I would be. Within a week, we were moving to our new house, which would be more suitable for all of us. 

As imperfect and ordinary as we were, we had been chosen to be the parents of Michael, Christie and Jennifer. They kept us busy, but they were so much fun. Adding our three children to the family, my dad had a constant supply of new stories about his grandchildren.

Grandpa lots of stories about the grandkids

Just as God had knit each of these babies together in their respective mothers’ wombs, we believed He would give us the wisdom and grace to parent our three children. He knit the five of us together into a family.

Knit together as a family
Children are Christie, Jenny and Michael

Our Gratitude Together with Our Concerns for the Birth Mothers

Decades later, we are still grateful to these three young women, really teen at that time. Each of them had tough decisions to make when facing an unplanned and, what must have seemed an untimely, pregnancy. Each mother in her own words wrote that she wasn’t ready for the responsibility of parenting then, due to school and other concerns. For her child, each birth mother wanted a loving family with two parents who were more ready for parenting.

Hank and I and the extended family are especially thankful these three birth mothers didn’t choose abortion as a solution to an “inconvenient” pregnancy. Yes, for our sakes, we are grateful that we have the three children who were entrusted to our care. But we also realize that, but for the grace of God and the three women, our children might not have been given the gift of life. Hank and I are also thankful for the mothers themselves that they didn’t suffer the aftermath of abortion.

One of My Passions Is the Life and Well-being of Children

As Christian, most of us agree that every stage of life--from the womb to the tomb--is important. Pro-life is a personal and spiritual view for me, rather than a political one. Many times I’ve asked myself the Micah question. “. . . What does the Lord require of me? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with (my) God (Micah 6:8 NIV). 

I believe pro-life means all of the above. Saving unborn children is important, but acting justly in all our endeavours, being loving and merciful, and walking humbly with God also counts. 

Whose Children Are They?

“The children we have are never really ours. They are given to us, in trust, for a time, a short time really, and we are asked to be mothers and fathers, mentors guardians, teachers, priests, ministers and friends to them, but they are never really our children. They belong to somebody else, God, and to themselves more than they ever belong to us.”

                            Quote from Fr. Ron Rolheiser’s column “In Exile” in The Catholic Register, 2006

To be continued. . .

Beginnings by Sharon Espeseth

Caleb Turned Out Just Fine

One of my stories had its beginnings in a real-life entry into the world. This was the birth of Caleb, the third grandson for Hank and me. Caleb was the third child of our third adopted child and I'd been invited to his birth-day party--in the delivery room. Hank dropped Jenny and I off at the Grey Nuns Hospital for her "induction" ceremony.

After a morning of observation and I.V., Jenny was told we could go home, go shopping, or whatever we, or she, wanted while we waited for her contractions to come closer together. When Jenny mentioned to the nurse that not all of her contractions had registered on the machine, the nurse explained that this was normal. 

"My last baby came early," Jenny added.

"You certainly can stay, if you're concerned," the nurse told her. 

Jenny and I exchanged a glance. "It's up to you, Jenny," I told her. "Remember, I'm the new kid on this block." (Reminder to reader: All three of our children had been adopted.) Hank came to pick us up and take us back to Jenny and Rob's home, which was a 25-minute drive from the Grey Nuns. That is where most of the family was hanging out and babysitting the rest of the grandkids.

I'll leave you to guess what happened from there, but I called this story, "Special Gift, Special Delivery." My version of the story was published in Western Producer on October 26, 2006 under the headline, "Experience in barn makes baby's quick debut easier." And I was not the experienced one!

"Special Gift, Special Delivery" was later published in the January-February, 2009 issue of Celebrate Life, which is the flagship magazine of the American Life League. I had entertained, or inspired, readers of two magazines with two different readerships and I had also received a check from each of the publishers.

I am reluctant to retell the whole story, because I may do a rewrite for another publication, possibly an anthology with themes related to adoption, pro-life, farming, parenting, grandparenting. . .

"Let All You Do Be Done in Love" by Sharon Espeseth

February 14 is a big day in 2018
Google Free Images of Valentine's Day

Three Days in One

For the first time since 1945, Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday both land on February 14th. Do you, like me, find that an interesting alignment of days to commemorate?

In our family, we have a third event we celebrate on the 14th of February. This is the day our third adopted child, Jennifer Joanne, a.k.a. Jenny, became a member of our family.


Valentine's Day

The history of Valentine's Day is not well documented, but it is believed this once "holy day" was started in honour of St. Valentine, who was martyred for the Christian faith in 269 A.D. Valentine was known in the third century for his marrying of young couples who were in love. Perhaps because love wasn't the general prerequisite for marriage, this landed him in jail.

The jailer liked Valentine and they apparently got along fine until he tried to convert his overseer to Christianity. That got him beheaded. Valentine was fond of the jailer's daughter, a fellow believer. Before the axe fell, Valentine had given the young woman a card encouraging her to keep the faith. "From your Valentine," he signed.

Martyrdom is a far cry from the chocolates, gifts, cards and romantic excesses of the 21st century. Valentine's Day  2018 will also be a sharp contrast from the more sombre day of fasting, reflection and penance that is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent.

Lovingly made by our granddaughter Abbie

Ash Wednesday

Free Catholic Inspired Image 

Ash Wednesday is a time to consider God's love and sacrifice for us. His is a love so deep that he sent his only Son to die on a cross for our sins. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16 NIV)

For some of us this year, we may have to push or pull our Valentine's treats back to February 13th. Shrove Tuesday is observed in different ways and with different names depending on one's culture. Simply put, it's a day when dietary leniency is allowed before Lent begins. For many Christian traditions, the 13th, this year, would be a better day than Ash Wednesday to indulge in rich foods.

The ashes drawn in the shape of a cross are a symbol of our repentance or our dying to self and turning more toward living like Christ. The ashes are prepared beforehand by burning the blessed palms from the previous Palm Sunday. During Lent, we are invited to renew our lives in Christ and to walk with him.

Jenny's Arrival Day


The third important occasion for our family on February 14th is the Arrival Day for our third adopted child, Jennifer Joanne a.k.a. Jenny. Imagine our joy at receiving a bouncing baby on Valentine's Day some years ago. Each of our three adult children were adopted as infants, so they each have a birthday and an arrival day.

When our kids were young, Arrival Day meant the child's choice of dinner prepared and served. The table was set with china and decorations prepared by the other two siblings. Arrival Day was a special day to express our love for and appreciation of this particular child.


Now that our young people are grown and away from home, we may not see them on the exact day of their arrival, but we at least talk by phone and try to see them around that time.

Three Love Stories in One Day 

One common thread, and that is love, runs through this triptych of special commemorations--Valentine's Day, Ash Wednesday and our family's Arrival Days. But there is something else I noticed while writing this blog. In each of these love stories, a poignant or sorrowful side surfaced.

What is sorrowful about Valentine's Day? you may ask. Many people are lonely, homeless, broken-hearted, grieving for the loss of a loved one . . . We can't assume that everyone will be celebrating a loving, joyous holiday. Maybe some of you, my readers of this blog, are at a loss this February. We as writers don't know everyone's circumstance, but we can be sensitive to the possibility that the 14th may not feel special at all for some. We can ask ourselves if there is someone who needs a call, a card, a coffee or dinner buddy on this day.

Ash Wednesday is a solemn day and there is a sadness in this as well. God's loving act of saving us from our sins came at a price--the horrible death of his Son on a cross. Mary the Mother of Jesus watched the whole episode from the foot of the cross. Her suffering defies imagination and this is a sorrow only heaven can heal.

Even our loving experience of being blessed with three children has its sorrowful side. We are so thankful for our three children and the fact that our family of five has since grown into a family of thirteen. (God multiplies his giving.)

Visiting Maligne Canyon with our kids during their teens

Our children were brought into this world by birth parents who were at a place in their lives when it seemed impossible for them to raise these infants. We think of each birth mother who carried a child in her womb and went through pain to give birth. Then this young woman had a tough decision to make. Would she be able to raise this child? Was there a father to help her? What would be best for the child?

These young women each wrote a letter expressing their love for their child and their inability to raise the child in their present circumstances. They wrote of their hope for the child to be raised in a home with loving, and Christian, parents.

These expressions of love were sacred for us and for the children. We are proud of these women for giving their children/our children the gift of life. Then they made the tough decision to surrender the infant to someone who longed for a child. We don't know of the birth father's involvement, but my heart ached for these young mothers. I still think of them and the young men, as much as they were involved, and pray for their well-being. 

Thinking of these three "love days--Valentine's Day, Ash Wednesday and our own Arrival Days-- I see a connection with this month's theme of ministry. How do we minister to those who are broken by "poverty, oppression, injustice," or personal heartbreak? On a recent Sunday, Fr. Johnny spoke about how our listening to others and sharing our experience can be ministry. We can do this in person or through our writing.

"Above all," Paul writes to the Colossians, "clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs to God.  And whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:14-17

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