You arrived along with the spring flowers in April. Your parents and brothers welcomed you with joy˗˗a wee redheaded girl with big eyes eager to take in the world. Your childhood holds some of my clearest early memories. Most cherished are scenes and stories from your imagination. You skipped through the veil between fantasy and reality like a fairy child, happy living in tales of your own weaving. Your parents hurried you along when you dawdled, immersed in your inner world. They did not realize their little girl’s whimsical fancies were the dawning of a deep inner life. Now you hold my hand in the twilight before I sleep, telling myself stories to calm my mind, as you once did. You will always be a part of me.
With young womanhood came your awakening to the possibility of romantic love. You ran fast after it, thinking all questions would be answered through the heart, but found it to be a tender organ, quick to bruise and slow to heal. If you had realized then that your heart’s longing could only find true fulfillment in one perfect Man, Jesus Christ, much suffering may have been averted. Eventually you embraced a new life in Christ, but not before your heart was trampled and thrown aside. I still live with the scars of that broken heart, now made whole because of the healing love of Jesus.
Becoming a mother gave your creative imagination a chance to blossom again. Tea parties with dolls, playing pirates in the forest, and stories before bedtime; these brought you delight through the eyes of your children. You entered into their world, not just as their mother but as a fellow creative who sparked their imaginations with what if’s and let’s pretend. You have reason to be proud of their adult accomplishments as musicians, artists, and writers.
When you learned to read and write as a child, a way opened for you to express your inner world through the written word. It came as naturally to you as breathing. You dreamed of a career as a journalist, however, marriage and family set that dream aside.
No need to think you failed, though, because from my vantage point I see God’s perfect timing in those dreams now coming to fruition in my golden years. The day is here when all you learned in your walk with Jesus gives you much to share with others through your writing. But first you will go through the refiner’s fire. Refining will reveal depths of God’s character and purposes only suffering brings to light. I guarantee it will be worth it all to know the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God. (Romans 11:33 NIV)
I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that I, the Lord, who calls you by your name, am the God of Israel. (Isaiah 45:3 NKJV)
It seems just a short time ago you were a little girl swaying on a backyard swing, absorbed in the magical tales of your imagination. Soon you and I will experience what no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined, when we enter God’s kingdom to see Jesus face to face.
Take courage, dear heart!
From your older self, who loves you always
Valerie Ronald writes from an old roll top desk in Portage la Prairie, Manitoba,
Valerie, you mentioned having arrived on the scene with April's spring flowers. Which means you and I share the same birthday month. It's a good month, isn't it? As a girl, my little sister and I loved hunting for pussy willows around our birthdays in April. Thank you for sharing your beautiful letter with us today. It was a lovely piece to read.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Brenda! April is a lovely month to celebrate a birthday. I grew up on Vancouver Island, where spring flowers were well on their way by April. Thank you for commenting.
DeleteThank you for your sharing your tender heart for your younger self, Valerie. I loved the enchanted worlds you created as a child and as a mother. How lovely to know that your hopes and dreams are fulfilled in Jesus.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your comment, Lorrie. Yes, Jesus has captured my imagination and my heart fully, not as a story but in reality.
DeleteDear Valerie, I love how the weaving of your words held my attention from the first sentence. This line reminded me of my childhood: "You skipped through the veil between fantasy and reality like a fairy child, happy living in tales of your own weaving." Fantasy and imagination helped me get through my years as a boy. God's timing is indeed perfect. I think we have a lot in common in how we see the world, wrapped in the love of God. Blessings to you, my friend!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind comment, Alan. Sometimes I long for those childhood days when my inner world was so vivid. However, my life now has many "dreams come true", I'm happy to say. Keep nurturing your imagination, Alan. It is a necessity for a writer.
DeleteWhat a full and rich letter of life lived with joys and sorrows, day of innocence and innocence shattered. Strength, courage, beauty and faith. All that made you who you are today, in Him. Thank you, Valerie.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment, Sharon. We become the sum of so many aspects of our inner and outer lives, as you pointed out so eloquently.
DeleteWhat a delightful piece of writing to your younger self, Valerie! I enjoyed also your acknowledgement that your inner child has never left you. Your post warmed the cockles of my heart.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Susan! The phrase you used, "warmed the cockles of my heart", sent me on a search as to its origin. (yes, I am word nerd!) The closest I could come was that the word "cockle" is most likely derived from the Latin term of endearment corculum, or little heart. Some trivia you might like to know!
DeleteIt's a phrase I heard on occasion when I was growing up :)
DeleteAs a fellow word-nerd, I also found this on grammarist.com (sparing you the full link that comes with a marketing pop-up): "To warm the cockles of one’s heart means to bestow a feeling of contentment, to kindle warm feelings in a person, especially of happiness and felicity. The term warm the cockles of one’s heart dates back to the mid-1600s, a time when scientific texts were often written in Latin. The Latin term cochleae cordis means ventricles of the heart, and most probably, the word cochleae was corrupted as cockles. This may have been a mistake made by the less learned, or a deliberate joke. Add in the fact that the bivalve mollusk known as a cockle is shaped somewhat like a heart, and the idea of the phrase cockles of one’s heart being more or less a joke gains credence."
I guess we'll never know the etymology of the word for sure, but it's fun to explore the possibilities!
Thanks for the further information on the phrase, Susan. Interesting!
DeleteWhat a tender tribute to your younger self, Valerie, both the imaginative young girl and the older one who suffered so. These words meant a lot to me: "No need to think you failed, though, because from my vantage point I see God’s perfect timing in those dreams now coming to fruition in my golden years." and "Refining will reveal depths of God’s character and purposes only suffering brings to light." God does redeem our suffering.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your reflective comment, Sandi. I think by the time we reach our senior years we have experienced God redeeming our suffering more than a few times.
ReplyDeleteI love the last sentence where you affirm that you love yourself always. So powerful!
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