This post is dedicated to the parents, grandparents
and families whose babies went to heaven before they were born.
“…O gracious and merciful Master and Lord, look
down from heaven and behold the grief in my heart, the heart of a parent, as it
sees its hope for life snatched away: the good and righteous life of my child
through whom I had longed to praise the power, wisdom, and goodness of Your
holy name” (Parent’s Prayer at the Death of a Child, Orthodox Prayer Book, new
Varatic Publishing, Lake George, Fifth printing 2016, p.52).
At this time of year as I write my post for
our December theme I remember parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters who
said farewell to the babies who went to heaven before they were born. I always
find it emotionally draining to write a post like this but I’m compelled to do
it. You see, Christmas is not all joy and fun for some families.
My wife and I have six grandchildren. In
addition, we have five grandchildren in
heaven. I miss these five children even though I never met them. I hold
them in my heart close and forever.
Over the years I have known and talked to a
number of parents and grandparents who remember babies who died due to
“pregnancy loss,” etc. The loss is real and memorable. It isn’t like these
children are forgotten as if they were nothing. As a writer I view these brief lives as short stories, not forgotten
ones. Regardless of what society may say, their lives mattered.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother's womb” (Psalm 139:13). God knows these babies. Their conception did not take Him by surprise. He loved them even
in the womb. There is so much I don’t know about life and death. There is so
much I don’t know about God. Yet, He knows me and He knows my grandbabies in
heaven. “As you do not know the path of
the wind, or how the bones are formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot
understand the work of God, the Maker of all things”
(Ecclesiastes
11:5).
The website www.ontarioprenataleducation.ca/infant-loss/ notes, “Even though most pregnancies are problem-free, it is estimated that
one in four pregnancies ends in loss. The risk of miscarrying in the first 20
weeks of pregnancy is between 15 percent and 20 percent. It is less common for
a loss to occur later in pregnancy.” A reason I include this information in
the post is to emphasize I don’t consider my five grandchildren in heaven as
mere pregnancy loss statistics. Dear
readers I hope they are more than that to you also.
As a Christian processing and accepting the death of five unborn
grandchildren I find solace in the following part of a Parent’s Prayer at the
Death of a Child. “…But as I stand before
the impenetrable mysteries which You alone understand, my mind turns to the
fervent prayer which Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, offered before the holy
passion, in the garden of Gethsemane, saying, Father, if it is Your will, take
this cup from me! Like Him, I also bow my head before You today and cry out:
Lord, let Your will be done!...” (Orthodox Prayer Book, p. 52).
It isn’t often that parents who grieve a pregnancy loss speak of their
loss. This does not mean they have forgotten that the child was conceived. I
know parents and grandparents who remember these children in some way. My way
is to take time during the busyness of the Christmas season to remember five
children I never got to meet and thank God they are with Him.
