Months after writing a post on my word for 2020 being bloom, I look back on this year that has been one like no other. God continually reminds me to just bloom. Circumstances without and within factor into my emotions,
my daily activities, and even family time. Yet God’s Word continues unchanged.
His directions remain the same as they have been since the beginning of time.
I contemplated what the word bloom meant to me, its meaning, the verses God showed me to go with the word, and how God continued to unwrap more of its meaning as I flipped the calendar from one month to another. Just as a plant takes times to grow before the maturing happens and a bloom appears, so my life and abilities take time to grow, allowing maturity or a movement closer to it at least. The bloom is the completion of a cycle for the plant – a finishing of what had begun as the seed sprouted.
The longer I spent searching for the meaning to this word, bloom, in my life this year, I felt God encourage me to complete some projects which had been left unfinished for too long. Life held many uncertainties in January as my husband faced serious health issues. I needed to stick close to home, long before COVID restrictions forced it to become a daily reality in most of our lives. Limitations outside the home gave me opportunities to revisit long shelved writing projects and bring them to a stage of fruition. They needed to see the light of day, develop into something stronger, and finally be shared with others when the time was right.
No more excuses. No more procrastination or comparing
myself to other writers I admired, and finding myself
wanting.
After all, one flower doesn’t quit blooming because it looks different than the plant next to it. With a renewed sense of purpose and peace at blooming where God planted me, I pulled out a book of short stories I was co-authoring and the two of us revised, put them in an order, had them edited, and sent them to be printed. Making Crooked Places Straight had been a work in progress for almost three years. But the time was just right for this book full of stories of hope and God’s fingerprints in people’s lives arrived during a time of fear and hopelessness for many people.
I pulled out a project to edit for a lady with learning disabilities who needed help with her story. My procrastination on this is something that filled me with regret. Yet the magnitude of help required seemed such a daunting task. God prodded and nudged me to grab hold and trust Him. Her excitement at receiving printed copies of her story brought tears to my eyes, chastised me for waiting so long to begin the revisions, and also allowed me to thank God for helping me bloom a little more.
Then I grabbed a huge project off the shelf. I quit procrastinating on my first novel, A Home for Susannah, and asked God to take away my fear, my urge to compare myself to others, and to enable me to work on it, if the time truly was right. Hours passed as I revised, took the suggestions of a couple of Beta readers, and finally sent it off to the editor. Back and forth we went. Changes complete, the book became available in September.
I am a work in progress. The nasty invaders of comparison and feelings of inadequacy still try and choke the bloom right out of me. Relying on God’s grace and all sufficient help to clear those cobwebs and thistles is needed every hour of the day. There are many moments of teaching, refreshing my memory, and reminders to trust God and not waste time worrying about what He is asking of others.
The brave little sunflower in the picture, waving in the winds of changing weather, shorter than most, has lots of room to grow but the bloom adds colour to the gritty side of a highway. It waits for its seeds to be filled, never complaining of the harshness of its environment, or how different it looks. It just blooms.
2020 has been a year of change as the unexpected took hold. It has been a year of finishing projects and jotting down more ideas waiting to be filled out and released into the world. It has been a year of personal growth, of being willing to let go of the things that hold me back. God has been working on helping me realize the value of being who He wants me to be instead of a copy of anyone else.
Flowers need the rain and the sun, the dark days and the bright ones too. Everything has a purpose. There are times this year, I have been tempted to give in to the tough situations, throw the covers over my head, and quit trying to bloom. Then God sends reassurance, affirmations, friendships, and those who encourage and support. I dive into His Word to find those promises of how unchangeable God is and how He will supply all our needs. I look at the flowers that bloomed in the summer, enjoy their bright spots in an uncertain world, and ask God to help me continue to bloom where I am.
Just bloom – that beautiful process of becoming all God wants me to be. Don’t give up when difficulties engulf but remember the truth of Philippians 1: 6, “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Then I can know the truth of Paul’s words in Philippians 3: 12-14 “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But the one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Carol Harrison lives, writes, and sometimes even wants to quit from her home in Saskatoon. Yet she wants to allow God to help her bloom right where she lives. She appreciates those who offer their words of affirmation and challenge her as she shares stories to help others find a glimmer of hope and a glimpse of joy.
