Life Lessons Learned Through Having Cancer by Lynn Dove

No one likes those valley experiences.  We want to stay on the mountaintop and bask in the sunshine or Sonshine as some may call it.  The thing is, I tend to learn the most life-changing lessons not on the mountaintop but down deep in the valley.  Look at Psalm 23, particularly verse 4. 

A psalm of David.

¹ The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
²     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

The Lord is with me always, but it is in those valley experiences, I cling to Him for survival!  On my own strength, I would not be able to get through those dark valleys, and I learn the greatest life lessons during those most challenging times.  

In 2001, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  My mother had passed away from the disease in 1990 and I felt a great sense of foreboding at my initial diagnosis.  I had two young children and a teenager, and I cried out to God about the unfairness of this situation not just for me but for my husband and children.  How could He allow this to happen to us?  Fear and trepidation threatened to overwhelm me until God began to reveal a greater plan and purpose for me and my family through this experience with cancer. 

The first life lesson I learned quickly was that I was not alone.  God never leaves or forsakes us during crisis times. (Deuteronomy 31:6)  I experienced His Presence profoundly throughout my cancer journey.  God's Word was a constant Source of comfort and encouragement.  I was surrounded by an amazing support system of family, friends and church family.  People poured themselves out in service to my family and to my own specific needs.  The freezer was filled with food, the house was regularly cleaned, my children were looked after, and when I was too weak from chemotherapy treatments to attend church, the Worship team came to my house for a private time of worship!  

The next life lesson I embraced was that God did not want me to "waste" this experience.  John Piper wrote an article I read and took to heart about 10 ways to waste your cancer.  If God had purposed that I go through this experience, I knew He would be glorified in it.  God gave me the strength and wherewithal to face the surgeries, and chemo treatments with as positive an attitude as I could muster.  This allowed my young children to not be fearful and we could talk openly and honestly about cancer and about how God was good no matter what was happening to me.  I prayed with my surgeons and nurses, and had opportunities to share my faith with them.  When I joined a women's support group for those going through breast cancer, I prayed for those precious women who were in the throes of battle with me.  I have had numerous opportunities then and now to share my journey with cancer either through writing about it, or speaking about it.  In a 9 part series on my personal blog, "Journey Thoughts", I wrote about my cancer journey about what it means to be a "Thriver", because that is exactly how God changed my entire perspective about surviving to thriving through cancer.

Lastly, I do not take for granted the time God has given me this side of Heaven.  I would not wish cancer on anyone, nor would I like to go through that journey again.  That said, I praise God for healing me and allowing me the opportunity to experience Him in ways I never would have had it not been for cancer.  I pray I did not "waste" cancer, but used that valley experience to draw closer to God, to point others to God, and to always remember the life lessons that He taught me along the way.

Lynn Dove is the award-winning author, of the YA “Wounded Trilogy”- a contemporary Christian fiction series with coming-of-age themes.  A wife, mom, grandmother, and free-lance writer with articles published in several magazines and anthologies including Chicken Soup for the Soul books, her blog, “Journey Thoughts” is a Canadian Christian Writing Award winner.  Readers may connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and at lynndove.com 

Laughter IS the Best Medicine by Lynn Dove

You don't have to be around me long to know I love to laugh.  I have been told that I have a very distinct, and hearty laugh.  My husband has spent thirty-nine years in the pursuit of trying to make me laugh every single day.  I don't know who's more thrilled when he succeeds, me or him, but when I laugh, it just tickles his fancy too and before we know it, we're reduced to tears and both of us are chortling uncontrollably.  It's a happy marriage.


My three children have learned to accept our frequent fits of laughter and though they don't always understand what their parents find so funny at times, they explain it away as one of our many parenting quirks and find it endearing, although sometimes embarrassing, especially when we laugh hysterically in front of their friends.  They don't realize that most of the time, we find THEM funny!  Sorry kids! 


In writing, there are times an unexpected pun or a misspelling of a word, that changes the whole meaning of a sentence, will catch me off guard.  I'm a grammar hound when it comes to media.  I can't help cringe and chuckle at the grotesque misspellings I discover in commercials, ads and social media.  Occasionally spellcheck will have me giggling for a day at the nonsensical word it comes up with to use in a certain context.  Even when reading or writing the most serious of articles, I can be reduced to fits of laughter because of a spellcheck or misspelled faux pas. 


I will admit there have been very few times in my life, when I didn't find something to make me laugh at least once during the day.  Whether in my writing or interacting with my family, friends, or seeing something in media or on television; life definitely makes for some very funny moments IF we choose to see them.  Case in point:


I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001.  That in itself is definitely NOT funny.  In fact, after the diagnosis, I wasn't sure I would ever be able to laugh again.  I was in a battle for my life and the usual twinkle of merriment in my husband's eyes was noticeably dimmed as we struggled as a couple to come to terms with our new reality.  My children ranged in age from five to fifteen, and I begged God to help me see the plan and purpose in this for me and my family. 


Days before my mastectomy surgery, I sat down at my computer and began to write a long letter to a friend asking her to pray for me.  I was terrified about the upcoming surgery and I honestly wasn't sure I would survive.  I was deeply depressed and I was facing a crisis of belief.  After the initial diagnosis I had "camped out" in Scripture, trying to find comfort in the Word, finally coming to Jesus' prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane before His Passion.  I wrote to my friend, "I feel like Jesus did when he prayed to His Father: "Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:39.  After I had written that, my daughter who was fifteen at the time, leaned over my shoulder and began reading the letter.  She stopped when she read the scripture passage and gasped.  Then she started to giggle.  She couldn't stop and soon tears were streaming down her eyes and she pointed at the screen. 


I had thought my letter poignant and filled with pathos.  To see my child dissolved in laughter, was the least I had ever expected the letter to illicit and to tell the truth, I was more than a little upset by her insensitivity towards my dire health circumstances.  She was certainly old enough to understand the seriousness of the situation, and we had been very open with her about what I was about to face.  Then she pointed again and said, "Think about it, Mom...your surgery...a cup being taken from you...CUP?...bra cup...?"  It dawned on me the literal meaning she had picked up by reading the verse that I had connected to my particular circumstance and I started to laugh.  Before we knew it, we were hugging, laughing and crying uncontrollably.  After our laughter quieted, my oldest child, who had been bottling up her pent up emotions until then shared openly her real fear of losing me.  After reading my letter, she knew that if we could laugh, if God could allow laughter into our lives about something so very serious and at that VERY moment, she knew everything was going to be okay!


It was after that conversation, I revised my letter to my friend and changed it's original sombre tone to one of upbeat positivity and I shared what had just transpired between my daughter and me.  I asked my friend to pray of course for my upcoming surgery, but to also send me jokes, funny videos and humourous anecdotes throughout my recovery process.  Then I enlisted all my other friends and family to do the same, and from that day forward my email correspondence included every manner of frivolity that made me laugh and lifted my spirit through my surgeries and the chemotherapy treatments that followed.  My request went viral, and soon strangers from all over the world, were sending me encouraging scripture verses as well as fun, family-friendly jokes, riddles, puns and videos.  My husband, once again continued his quest of trying to make me laugh every day, so even on the day I asked him to shave my head bald after the first chemo treatment, I was laughing while he cried! 


I don't make light of the awful experience of cancer or the devastating consequences and treatments that accompany the disease.  I would NEVER wish the diagnosis on anyone, but I believe God used humour to encourage me through that most difficult time in my life.  Someone asked me how I could stay so upbeat during that two year battle and I responded, "I can laugh or I can cry, I choose to laugh." 


For me, laughter was, and still is, the best medicine.

Lynn Dove is the award-winning author, of the YA “Wounded Trilogy”- a contemporary Christian fiction series with coming-of-age themes.  A wife, mom, grandmother, and free-lance writer with articles published in several magazines and anthologies including Chicken Soup for the Soul books, her blog, “Journey Thoughts” is a Canadian Christian Writing Award winner.  Readers may connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and at lynndove.com  

Collective Numbers by Marnie Pohlmann

I am eight of nine. Or perhaps that should be nine of 11. Or maybe I can best describe myself as just one of many or one of the collective.  Yes, I am a Trekkie (a fan of the Star Trek television series and movies).

Marnie's sibling collective

I was raised in a large family. My two sisters are the eldest, then came five boys, then me, and my younger brother. We also had two foster brothers who lived with us for most of my years at home, and many other foster children who came and went. Sometimes, when Mom wanted me, she called out the whole list of names before getting to mine.

There are other numbers society applies to me as well. One in 9 Canadian women diagnosed with breast cancer (2010 estimate). One in three girls in Canada who were sexually abused as a child.

Not all statistics are discouraging. 35 years of marriage is a good number, as uncommon as that is becoming in today’s world.

Being a nameless number is my comfort zone. I like being part of a crowd, yet invisible. I can observe life, participate when I feel confident, or fade into the background as needed for safety. And I love extended time by myself, playing or reading or imagining. When I need encouragement, though, my brothers and sisters are always there for me.

As a writer, enjoying alone time to work with words is a must and being a silent observer is very helpful. The writer in me also feels the need to be part of a larger crowd; a collective who understand my quirky ideas, give me feedback, and encourage me to keep on with perseverance.  I have a small writing family in Peace Region Christian Writers. We meet monthly to share our projects, try new skills, and cheer for one another.

I have found a writing collective at Inscribe. Membership allows me to be part of an extended writing group, yet remain as invisible as I please. I love the Yahoo list serve, where I can lurk in the shadows while benefiting from the conversations. This is a closed group not because it is elite, but so it is safe for our sensitive egos. My favourite part may be the monthly Word Challenge, where I can try various writing forms. The feedback received is amazing, yet all entries remain anonymous unless one actually wins. We are not in competition, but are growing together, much like a family does.

Assimilation into Inscribe has given me courage to venture out to meet the flesh and blood writers (not cyborgs!) at the Fall Conference or a WorDshop. I have dared to send pieces for publication. Recently I bravely started writing my own blog, Phosphorescent. Once again, I’m blessed by encouragement from my writer friends as well as non-writing friends and family.

Peace Community Church, Taylor, BC

In the eternal family of God, I also become one of many. I belong to a small local church family, one of 43% of Canadian church-goers who attend a church of 75 or less. This eternal family encourage me to grow in, practice, and share my relationship with God. I am also welcomed in the larger crowd of witnesses throughout the world and eternity. God designed His Kingdom to include as many as would follow Him.

These statistics in my life do not define me, but they have formed me. The collective numbers allow me to walk alongside others who also relate to these situations. I am a better individual for being one of many.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Heb 12:1-3 NIV)


*breast cancer ribbon - CCO Public Domain, Pixabay.com
  all other photos by MarniePohlmann

Marnie Pohlmann worships and writes in northern British Columbia. She ministers with her Pastor husband and works as support to our Canadian heroes in red serge. She leads a local Christian writing group, fights breast cancer, and wears a red shirt.

Read Marnie's blog at Phosphorescent