Anyone who has spoken to me recently, or
read the New Year post on my blog would think that I’m the kind of person who
flies by the seat of my pants. Who hates goals and making lists.
Not true.
Anyone who has known me for years knows plainly
and without a doubt, that I am a die-hard list-maker, scheduler, and
goal-setter. I have even gone so far as to make a colour-coordinated schedule
of every single household chore done over a whole year, right down to daily
sweeping of the floor.
I like to label things and make charts and
check things off.
That’s why it’s a big stretch for me to lay
all of that aside. Not to even go there.
It’s kind of like Tracy’s “Making a List and Leaving It” – only without the list.
No lists.
No charts.
No pretty checkmarks in colour-coordinated
columns.
But that is what God is asking me to do
this year.
He is asking me to give up all the charts
and lists, and be quiet.
He knows me so well; knows that if I had
lists and goals to accomplish, that
would be my focus - the busyness of getting it all done.
But no.
I am to be quiet in my spirit – to keep
listening to His voice.
And I am to be quiet in my outer life – to
give up the busyness.
Then, in my quietness, I need to show up.
Show up at my writing desk regularly to
write what He wants me to write.
Show up in the opportunities He places in
my path to Love God and Love People.
Luke 10:27 – “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with
all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your
neighbour as yourself” is my verse for this year.
Over the years the Lord and I have had some
great conversations in front of my bathroom mirror as I get ready for the day.
The conversations have been about big things, little things, and everything in
between.
It’s where I got angry with Him for not
answering our plea for help in deciding what church to attend when our girls
were little, and He answered so plainly and faithfully.
It’s where one day He said, “Maybe don’t wear any make-up today.”
“WHAT??
Not even mascara??”
That was a lesson in His love for me just
the way He made me.
Last week I was feeling uncomfortable with
no charts full of lists and goals to do. So I said, “Maybe I could just try to enter one writing contest a month …”
Immediately the words Don’t Fence Me In flashed upon my mind.
So it was confirmed.
No charts.
No lists.
No checkmarks.
Kind of scary for me.
Feels a little like walking on one of those
swinging rope bridges hanging over a gorge. Anything could happen. I could lose
my footing. A big wind could come up and swing that bridge so hard I’d barely
be able to hang on. Or, it might be a nice scenic bouncy walk.
So, I won't fence Him in. It makes me nervous. It feels risky and
dangerous. But it’s safely dangerous
because I have learned to trust the One who is asking it of me.
