"[B]ut Jesus said, “Let the little children come
to me and do not hinder them, for to such
belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 19:14 ESV
A Brief Background
Since retiring from my work as a chaplain in healthcare in 2017, God has blessed me as a writer. I had the honour of contributing stories and poems to four books plus a series of articles to FellowScript Magazine. This honour continues as I am privileged to be a monthly contributor to our InScribe Blog.
My intent in stating this is not pride, but thankfulness toward God and the writers who encouraged me. I have yet to publish my first solo-authored book. Lord willing, I will.
I wrote my InScribe blog post of June 22, 2021 with a particular group of people in mind. They are grandparents who grieve the death of their grandchildren. They will also be the focus of my first book, Lord willing. Grandparents who grieve continue to be those whose voices have gained little attention from society. The idea for this book germinated in 2017 when I co-authored the book, Good Grief People, published by Angel Hope Publishing.
A Determined Focus
In June 2008, when my wife and I attended the Scottish Highland Games event in Coquitlam, B.C., our daughter told us devastating news. While bagpipes played in the background and Scottish dancers entertained nearby, our daughter approached us. She said, “Mom and Dad, I lost my baby.” The news stunned us into silence. We hugged her as she cried.
My daughter “lost” four babies altogether. One of my daughters-in-law also suffered a pregnancy loss. Numerous women, both young and mature, have recounted tales of infant loss to me over the years.
A common theme I gleaned from grandparents, especially grandmothers, is that they believe they must be “strong” for their families. Their view is by being strong, they will not give further upset to the grieving parents or other family members. They remain strong, but in reality, suppress their own honest expressions of their grief. Grandparents tell me they grieve in private, and their voices are often silent. People do not hear silent voices.
Regardless of what our grief-fearing or grief-evading culture says, to be “strong” in our grief is to express it in an honest manner. Grandparents possess the right to express sorrow openly. Society and especially other family members must not forget their voices and their utterances of grief.
A Voice Forgotten No More
In my experience of listening to grandparents who grieve over the death of their grandchildren, their words are poetic utterances. They are honest, although few in their expressions of their grief.
The original title of the book was Plant Them a Garden: A Reflective Work of Grief, Faith, and Poetry. A number of InScribe members liked the title, as did I. As time went on, however, and I heard more grief stories, I kept hearing, “We don’t have a voice.” After consulting with a few people, including other writers, I proposed another title. I am calling the book Forgotten Voices: Poetic Utterances of Grandparent Grief. This title is direct and concise.
While scanning through book topics and titles on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca I noticed there is not a lot written about grandparent grief. I pondered this reality, but the words, the voices of grandparents, encouraged me to persevere. Such platforms as Amazon seem to say grandparent grief is not marketable. Regardless, I focus on the voices of grandparents. Society overlooks their mourning and forgets their voices. I don’t.
I pray that the forgotten voices of grieving grandparents will soon reach someone's ears. Someday, only God knows when, I'll see my five grandchildren in heaven. Until then, I hope and pray, in my little way, to be one voice of those too often forgotten.
