Oh girl, if only this were possible. That fifty-some year-old me could go back in time to share some advice and encouragement with you. After the initial shock of how we’ve aged, I hope you'll hear my words and take them to heart.
🌸
Girl, you are loved! Don’t be so concerned about people’s opinions of you! Embrace your uniqueness and be you. You don’t need to be like the girls in the magazines or the best friend who is outgoing and has all the friends. Be you. And be confident that the One who made you created you precisely as you are for a purpose! His eye was on you from conception, and He sees you. He knows all the bumps and bruises and loves you fiercely. Learn to trust God's love!🌸
Don’t be self-centered. Think of yourself less (NOT think less of yourself). Learn early to give a helping hand without an incentive.🌸
The counseling you attempt to sit through and don’t apply yourself to? Do it. Do the hard work of understanding yourself, and when you are my age, you will thank me! Don’t be so consumed with “oh, I’m the only broken one. No one wants someone with so many issues that needs counseling”. Everyone has broken pieces, girl; we’re just all broken differently. The benefits of speaking through and untangling life's knots are immeasurable. Get the tools you will need to help you navigate your way through the ups and downs.🌸
Shame and guilt are two different things. Guilt is “I did something bad,” and God forgives and restores you from that. Shame is “I am bad”, and this thought is not from God. It’s a lie that will ensnare you and keep you stuck in self-deprecation.🌸
That advice that the older, more experienced friend gives you? Don’t shrug it off as if you know better. You could save yourself a lot of heartache if you take heed!🌸
I hate to say this part, but here it comes. You think that once you’ve found the man of your dreams, once you’ve settled down into marriage, that life will be complete. Don’t be fooled. There will always be “the next thing” you add to your “if only” list. Learn to enjoy life now! You know that saying, that someday TODAY will be the day you look back on fondly? It’s true. Be in the now. Don’t think that life will be better when—(Side note: the man of your dreams? It turns out that dreams change, and what you thought you wanted won’t be as important as what God knew you needed).🌸
Nothing will ever be perfect. Perfection is highly overrated and unattainable. It will, in fact, derail you if you keep those tendencies up. Allow yourself to learn how to say, “I did my best, and that’s good enough.”🌸
Grow your faith. Build a solid foundation underneath you. Know what you believe, and surround yourself with friends who will help you stand firm. You will need it as you get older. I don’t want to spoil all the surprises for you, but there will be things that come that will shake you to the core. Learn early to trust in the God who knows everything about you and still loves you completely.🌸
Endings are painful, but they can become new beginnings if you turn them on their head. Perspective is key!🌸
Life doesn’t have to be easy to be good. Difficulties in life are the rule, not the exception. God never said that He would give you a life without trouble, but He did say He would be with you THROUGH the trouble. Make sure you walk with Him when the sun shines, so you don’t have to frantically search for Him when it rains.🌸
Don’t feel obligated to dwell on every thought that passes through your mind. You will find that the negative, untrue thoughts will lead you down a sad road. Train your brain early to do what the Bible says, “Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life.” (Proverbs 4:23 NCV)🌸
Good habits are good, and bad ones are hard to break. Begin now! There will come a day when you wish you had made more effort to develop the good ones and to break the bad ones.🌸
Don’t waste your time. Time becomes more precious the older you get. Value it, use it well.🌸
And one more thing—Use sunscreen on your face,
and oh—
easy on those potato chips.
Love your more experienced, more mature, still learning, still stumbling, but grateful fifty-some-year-old self.
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Mary Folkerts is mom to four kids and wife to a farmer, living on the southern prairies of Alberta, where the skies are large and the sunsets stunning. She is a member of Proverbs 31 Ministries' COMPEL Writers Training, involved in church ministries and music. Mary’s blog aims to encourage and inspire women and advocate for those with Down Syndrome, as their youngest child introduced them to this extraordinary new world. For more inspiration, check out Joy in the Small Things https://maryfolkerts.com/ or connect on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/maryfolkerts/
Reading this letter to your 20-year-old self filled me with delight, Mary. Oh, if only we would learn early to give ourselves grace. I was also drawn to these words "don’t feel obligated to dwell on every thought that passes through your mind. You will find that the negative, untrue thoughts will lead you down a sad road." How often I, too, have had to ask for God's help in redirecting my thoughts. Blessings on you today.
ReplyDeleteDear, Mary, I'm not a girl, but I am sure your letter would benefit a lot of girls. Perhaps you could submit it to a youth or parents' magazine?
ReplyDelete