The Season for Gathering Memories by Brenda Leyland

Everything has seasons, and we have to

be able to recognize when something's time has

passed and be able to move into the next season.

Henry Cloud

found on BrainyQuote.com

Little did I realize that I had been waiting for the season when I'd turn 60. Having reached this stage (successfully finishing 60 trips around the sun), I had some inner sense of having 'made it'. I'd come safely and reasonably happy through my childhood, young adulthood, and now middle age—and all that went with these various stages of life. It had been—and still is—a good life.

At the outset of this new decade, there were lots of things I didn't have to do anymore. By this time, I'd now lived the major portion of my life. I was no longer setting down roots for my future or laying foundational blocks, learning how to live the life God had given me or trying to carve out a lifestyle based on my situation, passions, and needs. But as a bit of a late bloomer—not having married until I was forty-one and never having dreamed of being a writer until I was older—I was well into my forties when I attended my first InScribe event around 2002. As the desire to write grew, I knew I wanted to write about life from my corner of the world, using my own life experiences as fodder. Somehow I came to recognize that I had had to live my longish life before I could write about it. I needed time and distance to see how God’s faithfulness, loving guidance, and grace had umbrella-ed everything that had ever happened to me. When I approached 60, it signaled something on the inside that this was the time the writer in me had been waiting for, and the season would start with a lot of rearview mirror gazing and gathering in the memories. 

I began curating my personal history, organizing the motley collection of photo albums, journals, yearbooks, scrapbooks, and multitudinous touchstone keepsakes. It was the season of gathering the fruit—stories, experiences, lessons—of my life. And putting some order to it. Based on the advice from Natalie Goldberg, or was it Julia Cameron, I created ten-year increments of 'Just the Facts' timelines, of my life from birth to present day. From there, I took the barebone facts and began creating a more detailed narrative timeline. A lifetime in a timeline. I felt so organized and orderly (smile). 

It was a such a satisfying season. Some things got wrapped up, some got sorted. Other situations remained shrouded in mystery and no answers to the whys of life but it was okay to let it be. Some things were dusted off as I paid close attention to which memories shimmered and begged to be told. Quite often bits and pieces of this material worked its way into essays for blog posts and anthologies. I self-published a magazine through Blurb that housed my simple but cherished childhood Christmas memories. Which made lovely Christmas presents one year and I was amazed at how much interest it garnered in sales from strangers.

From the start, I wanted to write about my lost dream to marry and become a mom early in life. My twenties disappeared as did my thirties; I was still single and earning my own way in an unchosen but good career for years. It wasn't the plan at all. It would be years before I'd meet my partner. I even thought about a working title for this memoir "Between a Prayer and a Proposal: Twenty Years of Waiting... and Living". I never realized until I started looking back that I'd been composing possible chapters in my head for years, ever rehearsing those touchstone experiences till they were etched in my heart of how I had learned to let go of my expectations and invite God to show me how to create his beautiful life for me. I had lived the story for years; the time had come to get it down on paper. I took a memoir writing course with Lisa Dale Norton and loved her book Shimmering Images on the topic. The first draft got done, but I never quite got up the courage, and energy, to push through and finish it. It's still a work in progress.

Turning another corner

That was several years ago now. The gathering season ended. The pressing need to collect those memories and record them was over. I just came across a line I'd jotted in my journal in 2023 which summed up my feelings at this time: "I don't want to keep living my old memories - I want to make new ones." My soul was longing to once again start looking forward and make some new memories. Some people use their retirement years to travel. I have traveled some, and I enjoy going away on holidays. Truth is, I'm really a homebody, where I'm happy in the heart of my home, near my writing desk, computer, and windows overlooking the garden. Where I can read books stacked up on shelves. And spend time with family and friends. Stay in wonderment and curiosity as I wander, wait, listen, pray.

I still want to share my life through writing... whether it's on my blog (my favourite place to write for these past 17 years), curating some of my favourite essays into small book collections, or finishing a memoir or two. I have known God's faithfulness and great grace through every stage of my life, including my writing life. Now as I edge toward my 'elder' years, a line from a song* Sandi Somers mentioned in her latest post seems such a lovely reminder: "In ev'ry change He faithful will remain". Amen.

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Top Photo credit: Image by CongerDesign from Pixabay
*Be Still My Soul

Brenda is living her beautiful life in slower mode, having time to watch the world go by, sit in her comfy spot by the bay window, read, walk, watch the birds and clouds and flowers grow. And she enjoys writing on her blog It's A Beautiful Life and here on InScribe. She can also be found on Facebook, Instagram, and BlueSky.