Bumping Into God's Kindness by Brenda Leyland

"The kindness of God leads us to repentance."

Romans 2:4

It took me a long time to come to a place where I believed that God was kind. And that he would be kind to me. Many of the sermons I'd heard growing up seemed to focus on our sins, which led me to the mistaken belief that he was ever ready to punish us for our mistakes, and for some reason I imagined a big baseball bat at his side. It took me years to truly trust that He so loved the world. That Jesus had taken care of the sin issue for every situation. And that he is good, perfect, and kindhearted towards his created beings, including me.

I will never forget the day, one Sunday morning more than 40 years ago, when a guest speaker at church spoke about Peter's denial of Jesus before the crucifixion. And this speaker told us he imagined Jesus looking across the courtyard at Peter, his eyes filled with kindness rather than anger, rejection, or disgust. At the speaker's encouragement, I hid that image in my own heart and went home a changed person. Whenever I thought I'd blown it, I'd imagine Jesus looking at me the way He looked at Peter centuries earlier. And I'd whisper to myself, He looks at me with love and forgiveness in his eyes. Instead of feeling shame and his wrath, I felt his lovingkindness and forgiveness.

Fast forward to another day several years later, I was sitting under the ministry of another good preacher who was encouraging his listeners to quit beating themselves up when they missed the mark, and instead of running away from God, run to him. I took those words to heart and have been running to him ever since. Confirming once again that, no matter what I mess up, he will welcome me and be kind in his dealings with me. No baseball bats in sight. He often uses humour to show me a mirror of myself in various situations which somehow makes it easier to admit the error of my way. Bringing me to my senses without shame or guilt.

Then I bumped into the line in Romans 2:4 confirming what I'd been discovering about God's kindness. It's true what that verse says, how the kindness of God leads people to repentance. Imagining his displeasure or anger had never drawn me to himself, nor did it positively influence me to want to change my ways. When I thought he'd be mad or angry at me for failing, it made me want to hide, as Adam once hid. But it's his kindness, his forbearance and patience that drew me, and ever draws me towards himself.

I must tell you about the kindness I experienced when my best beloved Miss Kitty was seriously ill. She wasn't getting better, and I worried about her, asking the Lord to help me. There I was sitting at a concert listening to beautiful music, still very much aware of the sorrow I felt, when I had a picture come into my mind. I saw Jesus holding Kitty in the palms of his hands and tenderly looking at her. And I also had the sense that Kitty knew she was safe with him. I was so comforted in that moment. He had reached out to me with such kindness about my sweet kitty. I have never forgotten it. (Kitty left us the day William and Catherine wed.)

And now there is the beautiful line I have been living with ever since Lorrie Orr shared it in her post last week (click here if you missed it). It was a line she heard a pastor say: 'God is the kindest person you will ever meet.' I could have wept with joy in those words. Because from my own experience I know that to be true. My heart responds to his kindness; it expands with love for him because of it.

And my response to God's kindness is that I yearn to return the favour. To be like him and reach out to others in kindness. In our upside-down-tilted-sideways world that's fraught with hard, unkind things, more than ever we need this fruit of the spirit growing in our hearts. As it falls like ripe fruit into the lives of others, hopefully they, too, will experience the exquisite bumping into his lovingkindness.

There's a quote that goes around on social media, 'In a world where you can be anything, be kind.' I say, yes, yes, by his grace, that is what I choose.

Photo credit: (Top) Image by Chil Vera from Pixabay

Inspired by the beauty of God's world around her, Brenda loves shaping words into beautiful thoughts for good. Her sweet spot 'place' for writing happens to be on her blog It's A Beautiful Life.