May 25, 2017
Finding Comfort By Vickie Stam
Proverbs 3:24 "When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet."
I find comfort in the places where I feel safe and secure. The places that provide some sense of certainty, familiarity and inner peace. Whether I'm basking in the light of day or sleeping soundly beneath the shade of the moon, I long to feel comfortable. Find a place where I am the most relaxed.
In December of 2016, my husband, Tony and I moved off of our farm. We sold the operation and retired from raising pigs. With that change came a new construction. We had a house built and moved our belongings to the beautiful shores of Lake Erie.
But, everything here is quite different from the farm life that we were once used to. Gone is the familiarity of our daily routine. No more early mornings. No more wretched smell of manure wafting in the air.
We're now looking out our windows at the vast expanse of a lake and not looking across the fields of corn, wheat, or soybeans. We're now living in close proximity with our neighbours. The noise of the water pressing closer and closer to shore is much louder than the gentle whisper of the corn stocks as they brush against one another in the breeze. Still, I am enjoying the transition. Our new surroundings are breathtaking!
Having moved a great number of times throughout the years, I have experienced the fear of the unknown, lost my sense of security and was forced to step outside of my comfort zone. Establish new friendships. Learn to meander through new territory. Yes, I've done it in the past, but it wasn't always easy. I think the repetitive packing of my belongings as many times as I have done it, definitely made the moving process less traumatic for me - easier to embrace it.
"You could make a home out of box," Tony has said on more than one occasion. He means no disrespect when he says this. In-fact, he is complimenting me on how well I've handled each of the moves we've made during our marriage. I take comfort just knowing that the home is ours. The pictures on the walls capture the essence of our lives.
Moving wasn't always easy for me. As a child, it was disruptive to me. Difficult! I was shy. Making new friends, took some time. They usually had to approach me first. Of course I never had any say in the matter. I was simply forced to accept the decision my parents had made.
After a considerable amount of conversation and prayer, Tony and I chose to leave the farm and move to the lake. A decision we did not make lightly.
The walls here in our new home are much like the walls in our old house, except that there's a little grumbling going on - a shifting that's taking place. Every now and then after the walls have spoken, I discover a dreaded nail pop. A sign of stress.
I trust that the builder did everything he could to minimize the risk of such stress, ease the pain of the home settling, yet the builder could not totally eliminate it. But it's nothing that a putty knife and some patching compound can't fix.
Ah yes...even the walls of my house seem a little fragile these days, somewhat like the walls of my heart. God is all powerful and loving. He is my builder. He tries to minimize the risk of uncertainty in my life by giving me a free will. Even so, bad things still happen to me. I still suffer. My heart still aches. I'm not always comfortable! A putty knife and Pollyfilla can't mend these walls. Only he can. But, he never promised me a smooth ride.
I can't always see God's will in the face of trials. I have to look back when the pain is less burdensome. Try to see him at work in my life. Search for the blessing in the storm. I hear the words of advice from my earthly father who always tells me to, "keep putting one foot in front of the other."
God offers me a sense of comfort among the stories that I write. My words are the stepping stones, the ones that I use to describe every twist and turn, every bridge I cross and every mountain I climb. In my time of joy and sadness, I write in hopes that my stories might resonate with others.