Dear Younger Self by Peggianne Wright

December 31, 1976

Dear Diary,
My best friend and I have had a colossal fight and I don't think we'll ever be friends again.

What felt like the end of the world that turbulent night was filled with God's blessings in so many ways. But only as I matured both as a person and a Christian would I recognize and understand it. From that agonizing phase of my young teenage life, I can now say:

 

Dear Younger Self,

You're still learning. The world is a hard place for soft hearts like yours. But, keep it soft no matter what.

Hold on to your values but be flexible. You were taught by loving parents who set you on a path with Jesus at your side. No matter what the world accepts, your principles and moral values must remain your guardrails. Pray for those in your life who are faltering. Extend your hand to those who are lost.

Dark Seasons will always end; you've been through them time and time again. Even though the painful times will sting and you'll feel hopeless and alone, remember that the One you can turn to is always right there with you.

Cling to Jesus and cry when it feels comforting. Tears have a way of washing away the hard times and purging our hearts of the soreness and ache. Losses will occur; more and more the older you get. But, in those losses grow sweet memories that are best cherished and nurtured with our loving God close by.

Not everyone will love you; accept it and extend grace both to yourself and others. You are genuine and compassionate but that isn't always a ticket to happiness. Often, your faulty expectations of others will lead to disappointment. But the One who loves you most is the only One you need worry about.

Close friends will abandon you; remain loyal. A thought expressed wrongly, an oversight, a lapse of judgement, or any kind of faux pas may challenge a loving friendship. Even at the times when you wrack your brain to find answers and cannot understand what happened, remember that God's plan is at work. Don't lose faith in a lost friendship but hold it dear in your heart, even if that's the only place left for it. Do your utmost to love your neighbour, even if they've turned their back on you.

Above all, remember to pray first, pray last, and pray in between. Jesus wants you close to Him and in constant contact. Whether life is rich with happiness or stormy with turbulent times, remember you are abundantly blessed as a member of God's Kingdom and beloved no matter what.

In Him who loved us first,
Your Older Self

Peggianne Wright is a published author and is the founder of the pet parent ministry Paws To Pray, blending her passion for the Lord and all-things-K9 to form this unique, faith-based community. Peggianne is an ardent Bible study student, devoted dog mom, wife of 44 years, and lover of music. Her blogs Spiritual Scribbles and Fur-Kid Fanatics can be found on her website www.PawsToPray.ca 

You can follow her on Facebook

www.Facebook.com/PawsToPray/ and on Instagram www.instagram.com/sister_in_prayer/

A Letter to My Way Younger Self by Bob Jones

The February prompt is to write a letter to your younger self. What advice would you give?


Dear Bob:

Congratulations on landing your first assignment in pastoral ministry. You've been given a sacred opportunity. Your new role as an assistant pastor will demand more of you than anything else in life. This role is way more than a job; it is a calling.

You will put in long hours, sometimes seven days a week. At the beginning you won't know what you're doing but that's OK. You'll feel that way for every new major challenge that God calls you into. Bible College trained you to parse Bible verses but not to deal with the complexity of human interaction. You will run programs not people.

No matter what happens, people are never the problem. The problem isn’t even the problem. How you look at the problem is the problem.

Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff.

The most important person in your life is your wife, Jocelyn. She will be with you day in day out for decades. In due time you'll leave your first congregation and enter into a new ministry opportunity and Jocelyn will be there with you for that. She is the only person you'll carry forward, aside from your firstborn son.

Pay attention to Jocelyn. She is God's best gift to you. She is smart. She is good.

She wants you to succeed and she will do everything she can to help you achieve that.

Listen to her. She has insight about people that you don't have. Trust her judgment. She is intuitive.

She loves you. Put her first. Make time for her. Quantity and quality time. Do your best to understand her. Live at peace with her.

Have fun with her.

Together, you will walk through the deaths of your parents, and life-threatening illnesses, and travel to dangerous places. Hold hands all the way and hold each other tight.

You will be privileged to journey with stellar leaders through plans and projects to the glory of God. Your labour will endure. You will see a harvest of souls from the seeds you will sow.

You will walk many congregants and community members through death, devastating trauma, and grief. Those experiences will be God’s training to prepare you for your own personal losses.

Your lifetime will pass by seemingly at the speed of light. Just as the scriptures advise us, “our days are but a handbreadth.” Live in the moment. Treasure every day. Start with Bible reading, prayer, journaling, and coffee. Always coffee.

Your collection of the front pages of newspapers from Canada and around the world will end up in the garbage. The books you purchased for your study will be given away to younger leaders and a Bible college library. The Coca-Cola bottle and can collection that will eventually define your office space will end up on other people’s shelves. But the relationships you develop, the leaders you call up and invest in, and the people that you share Jesus with will last eternally.

Settle your priorities early.

You can't put God in the centre of your church or your marriage or your role. But you can put God in the centre of your life and that choice will affect everything else.

All work and no play will make Bob a dull boy.

So, listen to Jocelyn, take time off, relax, and make use of all your holidays every year. The church will survive without you. Put your hand into a bucket of water and then draw it out and the hole that remains defines how indispensable you are.

God is for you. No matter how dire the circumstances, or how much you doubt yourself, God is for you. Walk in that truth. It will sustain you, give you grit, and keep your heart and mind quiet and at rest as you trust Jesus.

God bless you, Bob.

Your friend,
Bob

 

I had a lot of fun writing this. That's what writing should be all about. Thank you for the prompt.

I'm grateful for the life and wife and family and friends and opportunities God has given me.

How about you?

Written to Myself, by Lorrie Orr

 

This month's prompt is to write a letter to yourself. It can be difficult to know where to start. Here are a few suggestions whether you write to your younger or older self, or to yourself in the present.

1. Reflect on where you are in life and how you got there.

2. Express gratitude. Acknowledge both joys and sorrows.

3. Consider lessons learned and how they move you forward.

4. What are your dreams? How can they come to fruition?

5. Be gentle with yourself.

 

Hello there,

This morning, clouds are banked along the horizon, moving in fast from the west. There’s a bit of blue sky visible, but rain is in the forecast. Tonight, the full moon will shine over you, and stars will glimmer whether you can see them or not. How many more beautiful moons will sail over you? Only God knows, for your times are in his hand.

You’ve had an amazing life, and there’s more amazing ahead! You might be in the autumn of life number-wise, but spring’s tendrils of personal growth are not dependent on the physical world. They can grow anytime and anywhere they are given a little light and openness. Nurture them. Bask in the beauty of life.

Throughout life, you’ve waited for other people to validate you and that has held you back. With God’s guidance you can make decisions about your future and move ahead, trusting God to walk with you. Lean into the gentle rhythms of grace he offers.

You’re never too old to begin something new, and although it’s a steep curve, entering the book publishing world is something exciting. You’ve written all your life; letters, poems, stories, blog posts, and now it’s time to get that body of work out where people can read it and be encouraged by how God has worked in your life.

The future is unknown. There will be hard times ahead just as there were hard times in the past. God’s grace will hold and strengthen you no matter what. Be confident and step forward with a smile on your face.

And always remember, you are dearly loved.

Lorrie Orr writes to herself from her kitchen table by a window

overlooking her garden in Victoria, BC.

 

A Joyride in a Journal by Brenda Leyland

"I've always been a journal keeper. I've always

tried to write about how I'm experiencing life,

and my feelings and thoughts."

Sue Monk Kidd

My journals are 'sacred' pieces of myself penned on paper. I think best with a pen in my hand, and journaling has always felt like that 'meant to be' place for writing out what's on my mind and heart.

In the photo above, what you see is the wildflower-sprigged cover of my current journal—Volume 199. I know, it's hard to believe I've 'felled' that many trees and filled that many notebooks. But it's been nearly forty years. And yes, if you're wondering, I still have every volume—all neatly stored in my study closet in seven banker's file boxes. If I had shelf space, I'd set out the most recent volumes and dip into them more often. Which now makes me think of Oscar Wilde's comment that he never traveled without his diary, that "one should always have something sensational to read in the train" (or when drifting off to sleep). My later volumes are a lot more fun to reread than those early ones. Simply because I am better skilled in the art of writing, and I have grown a lot more creative in decorating the pages (with things like stickers, leaves, flower petals, calligraphy, and sketches). I fill about four or five notebooks a year. I'm much more verbose at this stage of life than when I was young and still figuring out life. (Perhaps I have just become more opinionated, haha, and so my diaries hear about it.)

How It All Began

It all began many years ago when I discovered Lucy Maud Montgomery's published journals in the 1980s. I felt I'd unearthed a treasure. By then, I was a devoted fan of her novels and poetry, and I gobbled up anything I could find about her life and work. She was my inspiration for finding the beauty in life and writing about it. I took notes. And paid attention to what made her journals interesting for me to read. She shared so many aspects of her life - growing up in her grandmother's home, her involvement in her community on Prince Edward Island, her friendships and amusements, what she read, what she wrote, the joy she took in the seasons, sunsets and flowers, not to mention kitty cats. She shared her woes and mental sufferings... along with her many joys and pleasures.

In my own youth and early adulthood, I had an odd assortment of notebooks for things I wanted to keep or remember. It was all a bit haphazard. Boxes of bits and pieces easily go astray—and sometimes they did disappear. But, since that day I opened a floral clothbound notebook and wrote the date across the first page—January 1, 1987—I have pretty much been dedicated to the art and discipline of writing in my journals. And except for the occasional season throughout the years, for the most part, it's been a daily part of my life.

Discovering What Worked Best

I eventually learned that it was best for my brain and personality to keep everything in a single journal rather than keeping various topical notebooks. Keeping more than one meant I was forever looking for the one I wanted. It didn't help me be organized; it just made me irritated. My journals are a motley collection in size, pattern, and style. I eventually decided against coil-bound notebooks—how would I label the spine with volume numbers and range of dates? My most recent favourite style of notebook is one put out by Nota (I find it at Indigo). It has an open spine exposing the decorative 'Coptic-stitch binding', which I really like, the spine of books usually being hidden by the cover. The pages easily lay open while I'm writing, and when it's full, its spine makes for easy labeling.

What's In Them

My journals hold all manner of information. Bits of diary—which can include tracking the weather or moon patterns, how well I slept, some to-do lists, what we're up to for the day. I often chat to myself about the books I'm reading, jotting down lines I want to remember. As well as trying to peg down why I like a certain book and not another. (Which helps when I need to write a book review). I write about what's going on in my inner life, emotionally or spiritually. I'm often writing out Bible verses that comfort, encourage, and nourish, along with prayers and gratitude reports. My journal is quite often my first-place dump for ideas—or for writing down a perfect opening line that appears out of the blue—which can often end up in a blog post and other writing.

And then, like LMM, there are all those beautiful moments in life that I don't want to forget. Those tiny moments that make a day suddenly feel alive with hope, even when the world is wildly insane. You know those glorious moments, when your heart zings with joy as you stand and watch a rainbow form after a summer shower. Or, when you sit in the garden where the air is sweet with perfume and the birds chatter companionably, and our neighbourly Orange Kitty wanders in for a quick visit and a quiet snooze in the shrubbery. Where you are just glad, glad, glad to be alive on God's green earth. Descriptions of this sort written in my journal will often nose their way into my blog posts.

Though my journals are not works of art, per se, they do resemble my personality and nature. My soul sits there on the pages—I recognize her amongst the words. Sometimes my handwriting is neat, other times not so much. Sometimes my soul is bright with hope and sunshine, other times she can grouse with the best worst of 'em. These journals are scribbled layers of thoughts, feelings, and impressions—the extraordinary moments mixed in with ordinary ones. Looking back, in many ways I wish I could have written a neater story within these pages. But a journal, I believe, is meant to house what bubbles up, unedited, our thoughts and ideas untangling as we "scratch them out on paper" (Sarah Clarkson, p. 86, Reclaiming Quiet).

Three Journal Side Trips

As I already mentioned earlier, a single journal with many volumes has companioned me over the years. But there have been short seasons when I did keep a separate notebook for a specific purpose. My Gratitude Journals in half size notebooks, for one. Sarah Ban Breathnach's book Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy (her January 14th entry) was my inspirational first intro to such a lovely exercise. It helped me to establish the lifelong habit of living a life in gratitude. I think there are three such notebooks on my bookshelf; every once in a while I revisit those old lists from another life time.

And then there was the season when I discovered Julia Cameron's ritual of Morning Pages. It took some years to recognize that this could be something to use when I needed to blow off steam, vent hidden frustrations, anger, and pent-up pain (all part of pouring it out to the Lord in three pages). I have never wanted my ‘insane’ ravings and laments to be a permanent part of my journals. For I never wanted to revisit those traumatized moments, not did I ever want someone to stumble upon them. So, I used up old scribblers and notebooks as temporary depositories where I wrote it all out…down to the last tiny ‘huff and puff’ of the abating storm. And once it's spilled out on paper, I don't reread it—the scribblings are destroyed, either at that point or when a notebook is full. And should there come out of those ramblings a few lines worth keeping, those are transferred into my regular journal. Morning Pages has been such a helpful tool for releasing brewing emotion and pain. In writing it all out in this safe place, I'd feel a lightness in the emptying process. I felt heard. I felt release. I slept better. Most importantly, I felt peace in my heart.

Most recently, since January 1, 2022, I have been keeping a small Five-Year Commonplace Diary. Which was inspired by author Austin Kleon who uses this diary to jot a favourite line he comes across in a day. This year I started Year Five, and by the time I write my last quote on December 31st, I will have curated a collection of 1825 quotations—how is that for one tiny diary. What I have found as I watch the pages fill with quotes over the weeks, months, and now years, I often can identify my frame of mind and what might have been going on in my life or in the world at large. So in reality, it's a journal that has tracked my life in quotations.

I have loved writing in my journals. It has been a wondrous experience. A true delight. It's one of those 'hobbies' I have never grown tired of—it's right up there with reading. I have never felt pressured to write in them. I do it because I want to and look forward to opening each day's fresh blank page. It's been a joyride in a journal. I have no plans to stop. 

Brenda writes from her perch by the study window that overlooks her garden and the birds. You can find her writing on her blog It's A Beautiful Life. She's also on Facebook and Instagram (under Bren Leyland).