Finding Home Is Beautiful by Sharon Espeseth

Finding Home

Hank and Sharon Married in 1975

"What is home?” Fr. Ron Rolheiser asks in a recent column in The Catholic Register, June 2, 2019, “Looking for home in all the right places." He speaks about looking for "the marriage bed,” a term he picked up from one of his college students. She discovered, through Rolheiser's teaching and a book he’d assigned for reading, that she had been looking for love and home in all the wrong places.

Father Rolheiser saw this 30-year-old student's term,”the marriage bed," as "a great image for what the heart calls home,” which "is where you are comfortable, physically, psychologically and morally. Home is where you feel safe . . . where your heart doesn’t feel out of place, compromised, violated . . .”

Here is my (our) story. More than forty years ago, upon hitting the big Three-O, I wondered if I would ever meet the right man for me. i.e. a man I could be at home with--physically, psychologically and morally. After four years teaching in Fort McMurray, a boom town in those days, I felt I needed to return to Edmonton.

Shortly after my return, I met Hank, and I knew this would be a different and special relationship. Being with him felt like being home. I didn’t want, or need, to pretend I was anyone other than myself. I gather he felt the same. Hank did indeed sweep me off my high heels, but our connection was more than infatuation. Being with him felt wonderful and comfortable and I realize now that being with him did, and still does, feel like being home.

Back Story

I had been baptized in Christ and raised in the Evangelical Covenant Church. Family life, Bible camp, confirmation and Bible college had grounded me in the Christian faith. Hank had grown up with little instruction in Christianity, but as an adult he became a Christian and joined the Roman Catholic Church. While dating, we’d attend his church one weekend and mine the next. Several months later, I took instruction, or the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults, in the Catholic Church. Hank attended classes with me.

Married Life

In 1975, Hank and I were married in St. Anne’s Roman Catholic Church in Barrhead, which is still our place of worship. Together we raised our three children in the faith. Since then, there has been lots of water under the bridge. Not all our waters involved smooth sailing.

Serious about marriage, we took a marriage preparation course, and later, one or two weekends away for Marriage Encounter, which was a start to our part of the bargain. Holy Matrimony is one of the seven sacraments of the Catholic church. The exact definition of a sacrament is “an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace.” You can read more about this at www.beginningcatholic.com/sacraments.

 Sometimes, when we least expected it, God’s grace was at work in our “marriage bed." For example, we--each of us with our own set of imperfections--are still happily married.

Outward Signs of Grace--Examples

One of our earliest graces, I believe, even before our marriage, was the miracle that we found each other.

Another grace was the way our family grew, which is a story all its own, but here’s a brief synopsis. We decided to adopt children, and in the space of 19 months after application, God placed in our care three small children. We will always be thankful to our Lord for entrusting Michael, Christie and Jenny to us. We are also indebted to the three separate women, who accepted the responsibility of nurturing these children in the womb and giving them life. Then, each young woman made the tough decision of surrendering her child to parents she hoped would be better positioned to raise her birth child.

Michael, Christie and Jenny soon after Jenny’s arrival

Our Family with Three Teens

A third grace, I believe is the fact that we’ve grown as individuals, as a couple and as a family. I once said to Christie, “Dad and I are on the same page . . .” on a particular issue. “No, you’re not,” she said laughing. “You may be in the same book, but you’ll never be on the same page.

Now, I’m chuckling, because I think Hank and I are at least in the same chapter.

We have grown in our love toward God and our love for each other. We’ve also grown in loving our neighbours. We have become taller trees, but still there is room for growth and pruning, as God’s time allows.

What Remains?

None of us can deny the passage of time. Hank is a few years older than I and the past few years have been unkind to his body. Yesterday Hank was discharged from his second stay in hospital in the past six weeks.

I spend time with Hank especially when he’s in hospital. I try to brighten his day. I make appointments, ask questions, advocate  and, mostly, pray. We remind each other of the many good aspects of our lives, like faith, family and friends. While I pour his hot home-brewed coffee from the thermos, I thank God that we are still in “the marriage bed" together.

Our 40th Anniversary

I find beauty and satisfaction in knowing that we are both “home” and that our family continues to grow.



     

God Makes Everything Beautiful - Marnie Pohlmann

In the beginning God created. God spoke words and created what pleased Him.  I feel closest to God when I am creating with words. 

But am I creating beauty?

Writing for me has always been a cleansing process. The ink I pour onto the pages is black with pain and yes, with sin. So how can it be that my smudged black words could be anything but ugly, not offering words of beauty?

This mystery is one of those God miracles, like stifling pressure makes diamonds or sculptures change from wet clay to art in the heart of a fire. The very things that seem like they must destroy, like pressure, fire, and pain are actually used to create unique, special, beauty.

Changing pain to beauty does not always happen, and never happens easily, but this transformation is possible. God transforms my struggles to provide a new me and send me on new adventures. Like a frog stretches out legs until he can venture onto dry land, or a caterpillar sheds her creepy-crawly past to grow delicate wings for flight. So, too, God transforms my dark moments, my mistakes and failures, my defiant rebellion, into beauty. It is not something I can do. That kind of transformation is a miracle. A miracle of God. 

Do my words matter? 

In an age when definitions of words are changed by political agenda and words are not trusted to be true, what difference can be made by sharing my words? 

Writing words to sort through my sinfulness and circumstances provides clarity to me, and hopefully, when shared, encouragement to others as they read of the transformation in me.

As I settled in to write about this month’s theme of what creating beauty means to me and to my writing, I am grateful for the time we recently had travelling and camping, seeing God's words of beauty in nature. Exodus 35 says God gifted two people with many talents and they taught others to use make beauty for God's glory.  I am grateful to the Bezalels and Oholiabs in my life, most of whom are Inscribe writers, who are teaching me the art of creating beauty with words. 

I am not multi-talented like Bezalel or Oholiab. I am one of the others. I may always be one of the nameless artisans who create beautiful words, yet my few words can make a difference in God’s Temple. And if not to people who read them, the words make a difference in my own life.

God who is pleased by my act creating with words.

God is pleased that I am willing to learn to create for His glory.

I may not create beauty, but God makes all things beautiful. 

 Marnie Pohlmann works, writes, and ministers in northern British Columbia. She is learning to write words and see God make them beautiful as they are shared.

Beauty - Shirley S. Tye

“With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.”  This sentence from the poem Desiderata, written by Max Ehrmann (1872 - 1945), an American poet and lawyer, sums up the condition of the world as it was when this poem was penned in 1920 and as it is even today.  

After God had formed all of creation, He looked at it and was pleased.  Genesis 1:31 (NKJV) tells us; “Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good.  So, the evening and the morning were the sixth day.”  

When we travel, whether in our own country or another, we see much beauty.  There are amazing country scenes to awe us, unique buildings, and many people with wonderful talents to meet.  Indeed, it is very good.  Unfortunately, we also see much ugliness; slums, abandoned buildings, ruined properties from wars, fires, and floods, garbage lying about in streets, and scrawny animals along with people searching through trash to find nourishment.  And if we look closely at some people’s faces particularly their eyes, we’ll see sadness, despair, fear, and anger.  The world to them is a terrifying and ugly place. Indeed, it is very bad.

So how can we, as writers, create beauty in a fallen world?  One word comes to mind; encouragement.  And Isaiah 1:17 & 18 also comes to mind; “Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.”  And then the Lord says; “Come now, let us reason together.” (NIV) Imagine!  God, who many people see as an angry, revengeful deity, who is blamed for all the chaos in the world, actually wants to speak to us; about many matters but especially about our lives and our relationship with Him. There is hope for all through Jesus Christ. To convey this message in a gentle way that will draw people to the Lord, we need the help of the Holy Spirit. Prayer is always an excellent starting point before writing or typing any words.  

There are many Bible verses which speak about encouragement.  1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) “Encourage one another and build each other up…”  Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Yes, as writers, we can create beauty with encouraging words of hope and love.  With the Holy Spirit’s help, lovely words will flow, and they will be good. Indeed, it will be very good.

Altogether Beautiful by Alan Anderson

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”—Song of Solomon 4:7

To know we can create beauty is altogether beautiful. In my writing, I often portray beauty in a poignant way. Stories people have shared with me over the years show this. Beauty is watching an elderly lady invaded by Alzheimer’s disease smiling while holding a doll close to her chest like a baby. Beauty can be captured in the final moments a couple shares with each other. Beauty is seen in the face of a woman kissing the forehead of her husband a few seconds after he died.

At times beauty can be marred and disfigured. For instance, I find social media can be a wasteland of negativity, mindless clamouring, and scarce beauty. I often restrain myself from being sucked in to its sullied vortex. A couple of years ago I became sickened of the ugliness. I tried to encourage people to perhaps change things. I suggested people begin to highlight “the beautiful.” The beautiful includes anything that might lend a hand to social media to become more civilized. I am still disciplining myself to share beauty in this context.

One the other hand, beauty can indeed be seen on social media in our daily InScribe blog posts. We feel beauty when we engage with the writing of others. They are those who love contributing words of life for readers to enjoy.

Our posts are never wasted in sending them out into the world. Social media cannot censor the hearts called by God to speak into the encroaching madness. Our posts are light shining into the darkness of sin-enslaved lives. Our words are beauty causing ugliness to flee screaming into the night.

There are particular times in life where I need to see beauty. At times life seems a bit dark to me. The mountains around me on a clear and cloudless day; the beauty of the smiles of my grandchildren; Beauty in the hugs of my wife; the tail wags of our poodle Charlie; these are all experiences with beauty keeping me grounded and in love with life.

In the area of British Columbia where I live beauty is seen all around. No matter what season it may be beautiful scenes are abundant. Many times throughout the year I walk around with my camera to capture beauty. When I’m satisfied with a photo I will often use it in my writing such as on a blog post. I love creating such beauty. I only use photos I’ve taken or my daughter has taken for my blog posts. She and I see beauty in similar contexts so we share photos with each other.

Beauty is best defined when contrasted to ugliness or suffering in life. To me, the purpose of suffering, grief, or pain, is to enable us to appreciate the great glory there is in beauty. I think of Christ’s suffering for us on the Cross. In this tremendous sacrifice, the absolute beauty of our salvation shines through.

When challenges or struggles in life threaten to overtake us we can rest in beauty. The beauty God sees in us. The beauty originating in Him, the great Creator. God looks at us and says, “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” Oh, that we can grasp God’s depth of love for us.

This writing prompt evoked deep feelings within me. I believe this is because I am thankful God gave us the gift of beauty. Our feelings, our emotions, our tears, our laughter, all capture the beauty God placed within us. Oh my soul, bless and praise God for beauty!

https://scarredjoy.ca/