Writing My Way Through Grief by Nina Faye Morey

My life has changed dramatically since I lost my loving husband and soulmate to cancer in April. Since then, I’ve found myself wandering through a desolate landscape filled with grief and loss, searching for the light that will lift me up out of this deep well of darkness.

I know that I must adapt my life to this new and challenging landscape, but my negative feelings—grief, fear, worry, anxiety, depression and loneliness—have caused me to lose my way. These debilitating emotions have also made it next to impossible for me to write. However, I’ve slowly come to realize that if I can refocus my writing to address my grief and loss, it may shed some light on my feelings that will help me work my way through this grieving process.

The empty page seems like a safe and comfortable place to pour out my feelings, but it requires a willingness to delve deep into this darkness that envelopes me. I will need to face my feelings of grief and loss, my fears, my worries, and my anxieties. I’ll need to summon the inner strength to explore and deal with the overwhelming emotions that writing about my grief evokes. I know it will not be easy. But if I’m brave enough, the process of writing may offer some relief from my sorrow and provide the healing needed to find my way out of this deep well of darkness.

While writing my way through grief may offer some measure of release and healing, my main source of comfort still comes through Bible study and prayer. I know that I do not have to deal with these feelings of grief and loss alone. Psalm 34:18 (NIV) assures me that “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I can rely on Him and His word to provide me with the comfort, peace, strength, guidance, and support that I need. Jesus promises “Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). If I pour out my grief to Him through prayer, I know that He will be faithful to heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds (Psalm 147:3). When I am afraid, I can ask Him to calm my fears and give me “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

Although writing my way through grief may be therapeutic, helping me to cope with my negative thoughts and feelings, I know that ultimately it is through faith and prayer that God will rescue me from this deep well of darkness and lift me up into the glory of His light once more.

A Shelter in the Time of Storm by Pamela Mytroen

 A Shelter in the Time of Storm 

My phone vibrated in my pocket and whoop, whooped. "Tornado Watch. Funnel Clouds are in the area and could develop into tornadoes. Stay alert and take cover as danger escalates." I swivelled my shopping cart back to the entry of the store and parked it. Bursting out into the open area of the mall I searched for my husband. Where would we go? Where could we take cover? We were in a mall in Branson, Missouri and there was no basement. I paced back and forth in the corridor looking for him, going over my options. We could go down into the theatre, I reasoned, since it was a few steps below ground level, but still not far enough below ground to be protected from a tornado.

Finally I spotted my husband in a store across the way and I zoomed over to him. He chatted with a salesman. They had their backs to a huge window. Wind whipped the trees into arches that touched the ground, but they seemed oblivious to it all. I tugged on my husband's coat sleeve and mentioned the tornado warning that had blared through my phone. The salesman chuckled. "Oh we don't pay much attention to those warnings. They are non-stop at this time of year."

I looked at the trees bending beneath the fury of the wind, and then I glanced across to the store I had just stormed out of. People chatted, picked up merchandise, set it down, and strolled around like they were enjoying a walk in the park, even though their phones were also spewing warnings like popping corn in a theatre.

"But where would we go if there was a tornado?" I ventured, always the cautious one.

"Well, we would just crouch down, I suppose," he said in his slow drawl. He returned to his sales pitch.

I relaxed a little, seeing everybody go about their business like they were at the fair. But the next day we learned of several tornadoes, one that had left fatalities in its wake and of another one close by that had devastated a city.

It's true that when you live in Tornado Ally, you don't heed the warnings until it's too late. They are too common, too everyday to stop and take notice. On one hand people do not pay attention to warnings of imminent danger, and on the other hand, I seem to create imaginary situations to worry about as I think about my family, my job, and my health.  My pendulum swings to the worry extreme while other's pendulums swing to the careless and carefree side. While some people die of a tornado by not heeding the dire warnings, I might die of high blood pressure by worrying about situations that are barely a fist-sized cloud in the sky.  


The stress from my job and family situations had been building like black angry clouds, and swirling into tornadoes of anxiety. After much prayer, the Lord showed me that I was trying to meet everyone's expectations, which was impossible. He showed me that I needed a new mind-set. He whispered that it was okay to fail, to do my best and to stop striving. While I still tend to shoulder people's troubles, I'm learning to push my computer chair away from the desk, and take a break from the never-ending lesson planning. I'm learning to stop thinking about what could happen to my job with a new manager coming on board; I am learning to let go of the sky-high expectations my students place on me; I'm learning to fail and accept that I can't be perfect and I can't please everyone. I'm learning to stop worrying about my family, and their health, and be thankful instead. Switching one set of thoughts for another takes  self-discipline. I am amazed at the freedom and the space in my mind that was once taken up by stress and anxiety.

My daughter texted me as I was writing my blog and said that her two-year old dropped a can of Pepsi on his bare foot. She thinks his toe might be broken. Off she goes with her children into town on unplowed gravel roads while the snow is coming down. I could worry but I'm letting it go. I can't take on the burden. Instead, I find myself saying, "Thank you Lord for my daughter being a good mother. Thank you for doctors being available and for the wisdom they have. Thank you for watching over them."

As much as it takes concentration and hard work as I pour myself into my jobs and ministries, I find it takes far more focus and strength to shut down my OCD brain, to back away, take a break, call my friends, take time for coffee, and to intentionally focus on beautiful and praise-worthy things.

So today, in the midst of storms because there is always a storm brewing somewhere, I choose to be thankful. To be balanced. To hunker down and "take cover" when need be  - whether my grandson's toe is throbbing or my job is in jeopardy - and then to continue on my way, with His peace and joy. He is my shelter in the time of storm.


"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind," Romans 12:2b.

Pamela Mytroen

   

An Obstacle Opens a Door to Opportunity by Nina Faye Morey

The Lord replied,

“My precious child, I love you and will never leave you

During your times of trials and suffering

When you saw only one set of footprints

It was then that I carried you.”

~ “Footprints in the Sand” (Anonymous)

In December 2010, in what felt like some cruel twist of fate, I was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. I felt as though I’d suddenly stepped from the firm, well-travelled path I’d been walking onto the shifting sands of a deserted beach. Uncertain about where this difficult and lonely path might lead, fear clutched me in its icy grip, evaporating my hope and eroding my faith. Burdened by those devastating twin afflictions of helplessness and hopelessness, I experienced times of despair when I felt as though God had abandoned me.

But that raucous rollercoaster ride of emotions that swiftly follows on the heels of a numbing shock eventually came to a halt. As I travelled this difficult and troublesome path, I once again felt that my fervent prayers for help and guidance were being heard. As God removed the obstacle of fear that had threatened to sever our relationship, I sensed He was once more walking alongside me. He became my source of strength and security, offering me the hope and peace I needed to carry me through this trying time of trial and testing. He renewed my spirit and refreshed my soul, allowing me to contemplate my future without fear, worry, or sorrow.

Jesus teaches us never to worry about what tomorrow will bring because worrying about the future does nothing to lengthen our life (Matthew 6:27). His lesson has been confirmed by modern medical research, which concludes that the stress caused by worry does indeed shorten our lifespan. When I was able to once again place my health and my future in God’s hands, my sense of wellbeing was restored. By laying my worries and fears at His feet (1 Peter 5:7), I became a wellness warrior rather than a resigned worrier. During my year-long course of treatment, I became a regular at the Saskatoon Cancer Centre Library, checking out reliable books, taking notes, and following any sensible sounding advice.

But my primary sources of solace during this difficult and uncertain time were prayer and the Holy Scriptures. I wrote out several comforting verses and posted them by my computer for daily contemplation: Matthew 8:16-17; Job 5:18; Jeremiah 29:11; Daniel 10:18-19; Philippians 4:13; John 14:27; and many others. I searched God’s Word for verses on the power of prayer and God’s promises for healing (James 5:14-16; Psalm 46:1; Psalm 107:20; Jeremiah 30:17). They gave me the willpower, strength, and courage I needed to fight this deadly disease and maintain a confident and positive spirit. A positive perspective is a vital key to health and healing (Proverbs 17:22).

Casting my cares upon God, I became determined to fill my life with positive thoughts, people, and activities. Instead of dwelling on my disease, I decided to focus on the things I enjoyed in life, including writing. I hadn’t pursued my writing seriously until I’d stopped working in my early fifties. At that time, I was successful in getting some of my writing published in various newspapers and magazines. But after a few years, I returned to work and once again had little time to pursue my writing dreams. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I knew I needed to quit working in order to deal with my surgery and treatments and concentrate on getting well. Once my treatments ended and I’d regained my strength, I was determined to devote my time and attention to my writing once more. While it seems strange to call such a burden a blessing, my cancer became a catalyst for change. So what initially felt like an insurmountable obstacle had actually opened a door to opportunity!

Photo: Pixabay

Hope in the Darkness - Ruth L. Snyder

We live in a world where darkness abounds. It's easy to get discouraged, until we remember...GOD...

• God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. (I John 1:5)

• God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved (John 3:17)

• God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

• God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly placesin Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 2:4-7)

2015 has been one of the most difficult years of my life, but through it I have come to know God in a deeper, more personal way. Maybe your horizon is dark too. As we enter 2016, let's trust our loving Heavenly Father to walk with us each step of the way. When we are tempted to worry, let's stop and pray: "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." I Peter 5:7

Happy New Year!

Does God Care About the Details of my Life? - Ruth L. Snyder

Last week I had the opportunity in my work as a school board trustee to fly to Boston for the National School Boards Association conference. My flight was delayed for an hour, so I used the time to catch up on emails and read the latest news. When the boarding call was finally made, I switched off my iPhone and headed for the departure gate. The flight itself was uneventful. However, because of the late departure I only had twenty minutes to race from one gate to another in the vast Toronto airport. (A fellow traveler joked that we were running our own version of the Boston Marathon!) I was relieved to discover others also had a tight connection and the plane was being held until we were all accounted for. Just over an hour later as I disembarked in Boston, I reached into my jacket pocket for my phone. It wasn't there.

The next morning as I was discussing my lost phone with a friend I commented, "Everything happens for a reason."

He replied, "I don't believe that. Sometimes it's just bad luck."

It struck me that his world view is different than mine. I believe in a God who loves me intimately, who is always with me no matter where I go, who knows how many hairs I have on my head, who provides everything I need. In Matthew 6:25-34 I am reminded that I don't need to worry about my life, or what I will eat and drink, or what I will wear. Instead of worrying, I am challenged to "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness." (verse 33)

When "bad" things happen, I have a choice. I can complain, fret, worry, get upset, and focus on the negative, OR I can choose to give thanks, trust, rest, and focus on God's consistent character. Sometimes God will intervene and change the circumstances. Other times, the circumstances will remain the same.

Despite contacting both airports and the airline's lost and found, my phone is still missing. (In case you're wondering, I had not downloaded the "Find my iPhone" app.) However, I enjoyed a wonderful conference. I was able to interact with other school board trustees, learn some new skills, and enjoy listening to inspiring speakers like Salmond Khan and Geoffrey Canada. Next week I'm looking forward to receiving a new cell phone.

Ruth L. Snyder

Check out Ruth's blogs: www.trusteesnyder.blogspot.com (Education information) www.ruthlsnyder.com (Ruth's writing and family life) and www.earlyyearssuccess.com (Information for caregivers of children ages 0-5)

Follow Ruth on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@wwjdr