U is for Ugly, by Susan Barclay

 

Our stories are important and have value - even the "ugly" parts. Our stories aren't meant to be hidden; hiding the facts of our real lives implies shame, which is actually a component of pride. Think about it. 

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (5th edition) defines shame as 

1. A painful emotion caused by the awareness of having done something wrong or foolish. 
2. Respect for propriety or morality.
3. A pervasive, negative emotional state, usually originating in childhood, marked by chronic self-reproach and a sense of personal failure.

Pride says, "Don't let anyone know you've done something wrong or foolish. Don't let anyone know you've behaved improperly or immorally. Don't let anyone know you've failed." Pride wants to project an image of perfection, an image of superiority. Pride is associated with the enemy of our souls.

How you are fallen from heaven, O Day Star, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, you who laid the nations low! You said in your heart, "I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit on the mount of assembly on the heights of Zaphon; I will ascend to the tops of the clouds, I will make myself like the Most High" ~Isaiah 14:12-14

satan, the prince of pride, wants us to keep the embarrassing parts of our stories secret. He wants us to believe we need to project to the world a certain image of ourselves, an image of someone who has it all together, who does no wrong. When Adam and Eve "realized they were naked...they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves" (Genesis 3:7). Why? Because they wanted to appear clean, not just physically but spiritually. Of course, their efforts backfired because there's just no hiding from God.

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. ~Hebrews 4:13

If we didn't know the ugly parts of Adam and Eve's story or the ugly parts of the stories of so many figures from the Bible, would Jesus's story have as much impact? How would we know we even need Jesus at all?

When we cover up the ugly parts of our stories, we do ourselves and others a disfavour and we fail to honour God. We're giving people a false impression of who we are and what our lives look like, and we're denying them the freedom to be real with us in exchange. Because, guess what? All of our stories have components of ugliness. There is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9).

Author and social scientist, Brene Brown, has much to say about the value of vulnerability:

Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center of meaningful human experience.

Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.

When we refuse to be vulnerable and truth-telling, we miss opportunities to connect, to share our experiences with others in ways that might help them, to show the empathy and compassion that naturally result from going through trials, to bless and be blessed. We even miss the opportunity to glorify God, which is a big reason we are here.

Sharing the ugly parts of our stories is hard. We don't know how others will respond. Will they react with kindness and understanding or with judgment and fear? Will they move toward or away from us? Will they grieve with us (if that's what we need), or ridicule and gossip about us? These are legitimate concerns. I know one couple who shared their heartbreaking story with their pastor and his wife. The pastor and his wife promised to walk alongside them in their journey, then immediately cut them off and had nothing more to do with them. This grieves the heart of God! 

What should we do with our ugly when we don't want the negative reactions but want to share our stories to encourage and give hope to others, to let them know what God has done in our lives? I believe there are a number of things:

1. Start by asking God what He wants you to do. Maybe there's a specific person, couple, family, or group that He wants you to share with. You don't have to spill your "guts" to the whole world unless He specifically says so.
2. Start also by telling your story to one or two people you absolutely trust to hold it gently. They may know someone else who needs to hear your experience and reassurance that God is on the throne. He is working behind the scenes even when we cannot see. His timing and ways are not ours.
   
3. Respond in obedience to God's leading and nudges. Start small if you have to. He honours the small beginnings (ref Zechariah 4:10). 
4. Ask yourself what you're willing to bear for His sake. Also, know yourself: how thick is your "skin"? As writers, we have likely all experienced rejection of our work, but rejection of our most personal stories and selves is another thing. Remember, that if God is calling you to share it, He's giving you the strength to bear the outcomes. If even just one person is helped by sharing, is it worth it?
   
5. Recognize that you're not responsible for how others respond. Leave their responses to the LORD, as well as any personal need for vindication. 
6. Make God the focus and centre of your story, not yourself.
7. Use a pen name if you feel God is calling you to share your story publicly but you're not ready to identify yourself.
8. Make sure you have permission to share from others who are intimately connected with your story. If your spouse, children, or parents are involved and the story reflects negatively on them, you may need to wait for them to be willing. Without their agreement, you can only share your part.
   
9. Remember the impact of other people's stories on you. I'm sure we've all read the work of authors whose stories have power. God can use our stories, too, especially if we're willing to be vulnerable! 
10. Remember that God has allowed our trials and struggles for a purpose. We aren't to be ashamed of them (in spite of any regrets we may have) and we aren't to hide them under a bushel. We were made for connection. Again, you don't have to share all the gory details with the whole world. You can dip your toes in the water with just one person.

I hope this post has given all of us food for thought. 

Be encouraged:

He gives "beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." ~Isaiah 61:3

[His] ways [are] higher than [our] ways and [His] thoughts than [our] thoughts ~Isaiah 55:9.

Trust Him to "do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." ~Ephesians 3:20

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose ~Romans 8:28. If it's not good, then He's not done!

Don't be ashamed of ugly. Fix your eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of your faith (Hebrews 12:2), the Author of your story! Let Him use your story and turn for good what the enemy meant for evil (Genesis 50:20). Let Him make something beautiful out of your whole life. He is able!!

_____________________

For more about Susan Barclay and her writing, please visit www.susan-barclay.blogspot.com. 

 

R is for Research by Carol Harrison

 

R is for Research

I have loved research since grade school. One of my favourite assignments in elementary and high school involved researching and writing an essay. I enjoyed the facts I could find and the opportunity to learn more about various subjects.

As a writer, research is important whether we are writing fiction or non fiction. A website called Lumen Learning posted this on their webpage to answer the question, what is research in writing?

“Research is the physical process of gathering information and the mental process of deriving the answer to your question from the information you gathered”

In fiction this can be about your characters’ behaviour or idiosyncrasies. It can involve researching cultural and social context and historical details. Making sure you find the answers to questions about your characters, your settings, and your historical accuracy can help give you confidence in your material.

When I was writing A Mother for Anna, which is set in 1903, I used the term “milk mustache”. One of my early readers asked me if that was a term commonly used during that time frame. I assumed it must have been, but further research showed me the term didn’t get coined until in the 1920’s. A little detail but by changing it my novel became more accurate.

Where can you find materials?

1.     Start with what you already know. This might be snippets of family stories, photos of people, clothing, housing, or any other details. For my Prairie Hope series, I had those little nuggets of family history that left me asking what else might have happened?  I had old photos to show the clothing of various time periods and also some old family documents.

2.     Access material from a variety of sources.

a.      Archives/ records/ maps

b.     Newspapers

c.      Encyclopedic knowledge – google for valuable insights into various time frames

d.     Libraries

e.      Travel to places to get ideas of the scenery, distances, etc.

f.      Opinions – whether stories of people who lived through an era or opinion pieces from papers.

3.     Organize material. What links together? What is non essential for your writing?

4.     Use the materials to lay basis for plausible story lines.. Ask yourself the question about whether this could have happened by having factual accuracy. The little village of Hepburn in my Prairie Hope series didn’t get a store until 1912. Where did the homesteaders have to travel to get supplies? If I would have had them go to the little village it wouldn’t have been accurate and anyone reading it from the area would have realized that.  If the railroad didn’t go to Hepburn in 1899, where did the settlers disembark and how did they get to their homesteads? Contemporary novels are easier to know details or travel to find out what things are like than needing to rely on historical maps and documents for historical pieces.

Enjoy this part of the writing journey as you delve into the research to help make your writing the most accurate it can be. What sources have you used to help you learn more about a character, place, or era?

 

 Carol Harrison writes and researches from her home in Saskatoon, SK. She also enjoys searching out information on family history.

 

 

A Writer's Journey by Susan Barclay

[This is a shorter reprise of the post I wrote for the June 2014 prompt, which must have been on a similar theme!]

My love of words and stories began early. My grandparents first took me to the library when I was three and introduced me to books and story times. From then on, you couldn't keep me away from libraries and books. I was at almost every library program offered, and devoured books voraciously.

Some of my first memories are of me sitting on our family's front porch and making up songs. I wrote quite a bit of bad poetry, but I'm still not sorry my mother kept it for me in binders that I can go back and re-read today. It makes me smile to see those budding efforts and to know how far I've come.

Not so great on paper (sample from grade 3)

In school, English and creative writing were my favourite subjects, and I excelled in them. My grade two teacher can still quote the closing line to a story I wrote for her class (okay, it must have been better than the grade 3 sample above). In upper elementary years I remember writing about subjects like Hernan Cortez for Social Studies and the colourful mandrill for Science. Later I fell in love with the pun and titled one junior high story Steph's Sweet, Swede Dreams (a play on 'sweet, sweet dreams' in case you don't get it). The plot was of a romantic nature and my protagonist in love with a Swede.

In high school I had an amazing English teacher, Mrs. Perle Michna. Her passion for literature heightened the flames of my own and I aspired to be like her so much that when it came time to choose my college affiliation at the University of Toronto, I chose Victoria, which I thought was her alma mater. Imagine my dismay when she told me her alma mater had been University College!

I enjoyed my years at U of T and Vic nonetheless. I had the good fortune to take a Shakespeare course with the illustrious Northrop Frye, although I confess I don't remember a single word he said (I do still have my notes!). I only remember feeling extremely self-conscious riding the elevator with him one day. Word had it that he had no patience for small talk. I don't know if that was true or not, but I certainly was too intimidated to initiate a more meaningful conversation.

After completing my undergraduate degree, I went on to get my Master of Library and Information Science. Had I known anything about a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing, I suspect I’d have taken that instead, no matter how impractical. Writing was the job I always wanted. Ah well. I’m sure God had His plans, and my work in libraries has helped to pay the bills. The main thing is I’m writing now and my work is being published, not only here and on my personal blog, but in various anthologies.

So maybe that was more than you actually wanted to know, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

________________
For more of my writing, please visit www.susan-barclay.ca

Secret Writer by Lynn J Simpson

It started in a little red book with a lock and key latch. I began writing in my after school hide-out of my bedroom with the sound of a bouncing basketball and light chatter from my brothers through my open window.  And writing with a red pen, which is interesting as now I will never write with a red pen-only a fine blue one. All other colours go straight in the garbage, I must admit.

And I filled that little red book with all the angst of a 12 year-old. Filling those pages were trials of acne, math, and the boys who wouldn’t look at me. And by age thirteen I progressed to 8x10 coil bound Hilroy notebooks. And I still use those, with the habit of writing the date in the upper right corner transpired from my elementary school days.

Simultaneously, I started my first teen novel. Inspired by my favourite author then, S. E. Hinton, who published at 16 years old, I began Dani’s story. In neat printing, I wrote diligently those few hours after school and before dinner, filling pages upon pages of loose leaf in a blue binder. And then my brother found out.

I will never forget the day my brother opened the door to my bedroom and saw me writing.  Shortly after, I walked into the garage and dumped every single filled page into the garbage bin. Honestly to this day I am not sure why I did that. Embarrassed maybe, that now he knew my secret that I wanted to be a writer?

A secret because a writer was the scariest profession I could ever imagine being. It was even scarier than falling off heels while on a date with one of those boys who never looked at me. What if I failed my dream of being just like S. E. Hinton?

But even though Dani’s story was lost in a field of garbage somewhere (as this was before recycling days), like dreams, she never died in my mind. And now her story is 40,000 words in a document folder on my desktop along with short stories, essays, and creative non-fiction. Sometimes months, even years have passed where my blue spiral binders lay low in my desk drawers, yet I knew a time would be coming where God was calling me to write my words again.

And my brother, married now to a writer, if he had known then, would most likely have walked behind me and pulled Dani’s story out of that garbage bin. Now I can retrieve any writings easily by re-opening in a locked folder on my desktop. But not those pens other than fine blue. They can stay in the garbage bin.  

Connecting Stories