Come Again by Susan Barclay

 

What Jesus says...

In January, I talked about how God's invitation to me this year was to "come and worship." I planned to start reading a 30-day devotional by Adam Palmer based on the Tim Hughes' song Here I Am to Worship. I planned to do a 7-week workbook by David Sherbino called Reconnect: Spiritual Exercises to Develop Intimacy with God. I planned to start the day with worship music, scripture, and prayer. 

How did all this planning pan out?

Not so well, honestly. I completed the 30-day devotional, but didn't get far with Sherbino's book. I started the day with music, the Word, and prayer...for about two-and-a-half months. I forget what happened mid-March, but something got in the way of my routine and I never regained my footing.

One thing I read in the first month was John Piper's definition of worship on the Desiring God website. He says,

 The inner essence of worship is to know God truly and then respond from the heart to that knowledge by valuing God, treasuring God, prizing God, enjoying God, being satisfied with God above all earthly things. And then that deep, restful, joyful satisfaction in God overflows in demonstrable acts of praise from the lips and demonstrable acts of love in serving others for the sake of Christ.”

From this I discerned the following "action steps":

1. be in His Word and spend time with Him in prayer, silence and solitude so that I get to know Him (experience Him, hear from Him, gain a better understanding of His character and what He wants/desires/expects of me);
   
2. value, treasure, prize, enjoy God, and put Him before anyone and anything else; 
3. praise Him with my words and songs; 
4. serve others in Jesus’s Name. 

This year, it's been hard for me to experience silence and solitude. It's been hard to enjoy God and put Him first. I've been sporadic in Bible-reading, more consistent in prayer, certainly able to praise and worship Him in word and song. I've spent a lot of time serving others, whether in Jesus's Name or not, I can't say, but only in His strength and with His ability to persevere. I have not always served with patience and a smile. Trials, struggles, and the demands of life, however, have set my face toward the cross and drawn me closer to God. I cannot do without Him.

I'm thankful that when He says, "Come, now is the time to worship," and I then fail in my efforts, I am not defined by my failure. "In Christ, [my] failure can redefine [me]" (Don Miller, quoted in Emily Freeman's Grace for the Good Girl). When I fall short of my own expectations, Jesus reminds me that He still loves me. He invites me to come again, to lift every burden in His presence and to receive His mercy and peace. How can I refuse such kindness?

Lord, I come. I come again.

______________________

For more about Susan Barclay and her writing, please visit www.susan-barclay.blogspot.com

Falling into Autumn/Out of the Express Line ... by Jocelyn Faire

Ruthlessly Eliminate Hurry John Piper

“Sometimes these are the slowest lines,” the white haired customer ahead of me lamented. I agreed adding that this was my second slow express line of the day; I'd been at Walmart that morning and was certain the lady ahead of me could not count, clearly she was over the limit. “If this is your second express line today, you might be a slow learner. But,” he paused, “I'm guessing we both have enough time that we shouldn't be hurried.” My response included a chuckle, “Well, looking at the others in this line, I'm guessing that overall you and I have less time left in our lives, and I don't want to be wasting it in a slow line at Safeway.” With a twinkle in my eye I added, “I also don't buy green bananas anymore.”

     When observing others, I think of aging as the autumn season of life, a kind of unhurried time. There are parts of this I love ... the slow down after a busy summer, the cooler weather, the invite to sit by a fire, the harvest time of apples, and the way autumn carries itself with an elegant mature beauty. While I want this season to feel unrushed and want ample time to be still and know that I am God, the harsh reality is that life continues in busy format, unless I do something about it. While in her early nineties my mother expressed that time still passed too quickly for her, even though she spent much of the day in her chair with few tasks on her to-do list. She spent her time remembering. 

     One of my favourite theologian poets John O Donohue said “In the autumn of your life, your experience is harvested ... Aging invites you to become aware of the sacred circle that shelters your life ... In fact if you come to see aging not as the demise of your body but as the harvest of your soul, you will learn that aging can be a time of great strength, poise and confidence." My sister-in-law believes people's character distills over time, both the best or worst have potential to grow stronger.

     I've come through quite a long season of transition ... Feb 2020 will mark the fifteenth year that two of my children went to Heaven ... to say it has been a journey would be the biggest understatement of my life. In the last decade, I have lived on two different continents in five different places, undergone divorce, ended my nursing career, began writing, met many, good-byed many, remarried, blended two families. The highway of transition has been a rich, difficult and beautiful journey with much time spent both in the desert and by the nourishing river waters. Change is constant, but self-initiated change is always more welcome than change thrust upon us. And now I find myself in a new season ... and it takes adjustment as well ... you see we never arrive at a place without some baggage from the previous season. As obvious as it is, our today, is not exactly a brand new slate. We may enter the autumn phase having undergone a wet spring, a dry summer, a late frost, a freak hail storm. And seasons do not end precisely on their designated equinox days ... chinooks do happen.

     When I ponder the question Jesus asked Bartimaeus: What do you want me to do for you (now)? I wonder what do I want? Reversal of time does not happen. Through the grief journey, I feel as though I “lost” some of my productive years ... and yet, while on the healing road, there was/is no point in hurrying. I knew I did not need to explain to God my hours spent in reflection and contemplation. While I lived my life solo, I had no one's task oriented life to measure mine against. Now that I have remarried, with a husband who works half time, I feel as if my productivity is once again measured by tasks done. This is more my perception than his. In her book Jesus Calling, Sarah Young tells us that spending time with God can be a difficult discipline because it goes against the activity addiction of this age. You may appear to be doing nothing, but actually you are participating in battles going on within spiritual realms. Last Sunday morning I passed a little girl on training wheels calling out ... Help Mommy, I'm stuck and can't move. At times I feel like I'm still spinning my training wheels, not going anywhere. It's not God's measurement I'm up against, it's my own, as perceived by others. Perhaps the man at Safeway was right, perhaps I am a slow learner.

     With God's help, I want this to be a slow down time to take in the elegant beauty of fall and share from my harvest those who need its gleanings. This week my new granddaughter and I were picking leaves in awe of the rich reds. To take a line from a gardening show ... I've matured into foliage. And isn't that a beautiful thing!