My Shadow Life Mentors by Alan Anderson

 

“To those who were robbed of life, the unborn, the weak, the sick, the old, during the dark ages of madness, selfishness, lust and greed for which the last decades of the twentieth century are remembered.” —Schaeffer Francis A. & Koop, C. Everett, MD, Whatever Happened to the Human Race? (Fleming H. Revell Company, 1979).

 

 

When I think of shadow mentors who inspired me to keep writing, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, Francis A. Schaeffer, and Henri Nouwen come to mind. Each of them impacted me through their approaches in relating to the world. 

Dr. Kubler-Ross wrote her book, On Death and Dying, to discuss some emotional reactions of people who were dying. She referred to her patients as “teachers” so health professionals, 

 

“…may learn more about the final stages of life with all its anxieties, fears, and hopes. I am simply telling the stories of my patients who shared their agonies, their expectations, and their frustrations with us.”—Preface, On Death and Dying, 1969. 

 

Love for people and ministry to them in sensitive experiences in life led to my discovery of my shadow mentor, Henri Nouwen. Henri Nouwen’s books speak of the language of brokenness, compassion, and our place in the heart of God. In his book, The Wounded Healer, Nouwen notes wounded healers are, “the ones who must not only look after their own wounds, but at the same time be prepared to heal the wounds of others.” 

 

We may regard Christian writers who speak into the world with their words as wounded healers. None of us will go through life without permanent scars. Our lives because of our scars will assist us in our service to others. We do not waste our scars. 

 

Dr. Francis A. Schaeffer left his mark on the world with his outspoken defense of the unborn and his rejection of euthanasia. Schaffer offers a thoughtful examination of the West’s destructive assault on human life in his book, Whatever Happened to the Human Race?. The attitudes and practices he warned of in the 1970s show society didn’t listen to his prophetic writings and voice. 

 

Dr. Barrie Palfreyman rounds out my shadow mentors. He mentored me in with his heart for ministry and encouragement. He encouraged me to “take the plunge” in my quest to study for a Master’s degree. Barrie also served as my Seminary academic advisor. 

 

Barrie knew my heart for serving people and sensed my call to chaplaincy. His brief role as my mentor stands as a significant highlight in my life of service to others. Barrie died from cancer only two years after he encouraged me to, “take the plunge.” 

 

In people working their way through life I see the magnificence of God’s precious creation, His masterpiece. When I transitioned from pastoral ministry to chaplaincy my heart for people didn’t miss a beat. 

 

As a chaplain, my greatest honour was to sit by the bedside of a person in their last days, hours, or minutes. What a tremendous privilege to have a person near death to take my hand and smile. This is trust shown on an intimate and humble level. 

 

Each of my shadow mentors helped shape me as a person, a servant of God, and a writer. My shadow mentors remind me we are all unique. As writers, we have our purpose as we make our way through life. 

 

Beloved writer friends, please persevere as you write and send your words into the world. The world needs us. Be open to God placing you in someone’s life as a mentor and see the world change.

 

 https://scarredjoy.ca/

Life Lessons from Shadows and Shadow Mentors by Sharon Espeseth

 

Oh, the lessons I have learned through my reading over the years--lessons I still need to absorb and apply more generously, prayerfully, and thankfully to my life. When I don’t carve out time to read, pray, meditate, study, and write, I fall back into old habits like doing too much, wearing myself down, and relying too heavily on myself. Then I become anxious, fearful, doubtful, and even depressed. 

God knew we would need mentors. 

Who are my mentors?

God the Father speaks to us through his word and he has sent us many mentors, be they priest, prophets, psalmists, kings or ordinary folk. One of God’s strongest and most repeated messages, presented by messengers throughout the Bible is, “Do not be afraid.”

Jesus our Teacher, Lord, and Saviour came to earth to save us from our sins. But he also came to show us how to live. He knows life will bring us burdens and cares, Here is Christ's loving invitation.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV).”

Before ascending to heaven, Jesus told his disciples about the Holy Spirit who would comfort them, advocate for them, and remind them of everything He had told them. Jesus also promised each of us a peace that the world cannot give. He tells us, "Do not let  your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:26-27 NIV).

St. Paul Mentors Me

Paul in his many writings in the New Testament speaks the truth, as he is God-inspired to do. He describes the word of God as, “living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart (Hebrews 4:12 NKJV)." 

Later, when I will tell you of some of my anxieties, please understand that God can speak to me through His word and by other means, in spite of a bout of depression or anxiety. Whether he is writing to the Philippians, the Ephesians, or the Hebrews, he is sending a message to me that could be addressed, “My Dear Sharon.” And what does he tell me? 

“Rejoice in the Lord always. . . Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:4-7 NIV)."

Isaiah Speaks of God’s Mentorship

“How gracious (God) will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it ((Isaiah 30:19 NIV).’”

Who then, besides the biblical writers are my “shadow mentors?”

I went to my bookshelves and had a look. Because of downsizing, some of the books that came to mind are no longer there. Here are a few writers who have shadow mentored me in the past decade.

Ann Voskamp in One Thousand Gifts 

Joanna Weaver in Living Like Mary in a Martha World  

Julia Cameron in The Artist Way and The Right to Write 

Anne Lamott in Bird by Bird and also in her TED Talk

    Online: “12 truths I learned from life and writing”

    www.ted.com/talks/anne_lamott_12_truths_i...

Ron Rolheiser in his column “In Exile” in The Catholic Register,

    but can also be found online under “Ron Rolheiser’s Column Archives

Luci Shaw in Water My Soul: Cultivating the Interior Life  

My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers

 

* * *

Dealing with Life’s Shadows: Our Covid Experience (Optional Reading) 

Getting up in years, Hank’s health had been declining for several years. In mid-March, his doctor recommended Hank to go into the longterm facility for two weeks. The doctor hoped to extend the progress Hank had made while in the hospital--eating more, walking more and socializing. 

The respite room was in a dementia unit--something we didn’t realize and something Hank didn’t need. He was given the door code so he could walk in the hallways and eat in the regular dining room. Covid-19 was hot on our heels and the day after he moved in, the units were locked down as a precaution for the virus. Three days later, with the doctor’s approval, I brought Hank home.

I've been conscientious about caring for Hank, but this close call with Covid weighed heavily on our shoulders. We talked more between ourselves, and with the doctor, about what Hank needed to do to make a come-back of sorts. We prayed and others prayed for us. The doctor made himself available to us.

Although Hank is still not strong, we see improvements in Hank’s effort and his health. He is up and about more, eating more, phoning a few people, walking to get the mail. We’ve been managing at home these past six months and we are thankful to be here together. We work as a team, but I am a fixer and I take the situation personally, which causes me stress. Hank was self-isolating because he felt so poorly, but I could still come and go for short periods.

When Covid became a health concern for all of us, I cut back my limited social life to almost zero. I’d mask up and go for groceries, then hurry home. I had a few distanced visits on our porch or at a nearby park. One friend and I would even write a little--like old times. 

Our church was closed for about two months. Even now that church is open, we observe Covid protocol, so it isn’t a chance to be in touch with people. It’s wonderful to be at church, but I miss the music and chance to see fellow parishioners.

Family visits have been restricted, so we miss the kids and grandkids. Our daughter, Jenny, comes to cut our hair and trim Hank’s beard. Our son, Michael, who has been laid off work has come home a few times for longer visits. We enjoy his company, support, and help.

Reclusiveness isn’t my forté. Instead of spending time with others, I remained focussed, maybe over-focussed on Hank’s health. I had to remind myself that it was my job to assist him, but the rest was up to him, and God. 

I like to have some quiet time in the morning for journalling, reading, devotions, but that didn’t seem to fit in either, as I was often tired. I procrastinated, felt disorganized, overwhelmed, and sometimes disgruntled. 

Before Covid, we had help me with housework and outside jobs, but we didn’t feel comfortable doing that during Covid. I couldn’t seem to keep up. We did get Vicky back to help us and we now go downstairs while she cleans the main floor.

I do know, however, where my main help comes from. My help comes from the Lord (Psalm 121). But I don’t think I was sharing the yoke with the Lord to the degree he had offered. 

I’ve been on a maintenance dose of antidepressant for a long time. About two years ago, my doctor found a newer medication that worked better for me. During the earlier stages of Covid, this medication became unavailable, apparently because of transportation problems. 

God’s Timing and My Listening

After one particularly tearful day, I admitted to Hank what he had suspected for a while. I was going through another bout of depression. I knew I had to take action. As Hank’s caregiver, I knew I needed to take care of myself, as we both needed me to be well. I felt a nudge to do the following three things.

1. That same day I booked an appointment to see my doctor. He knows I am a caregiver and he knows I have limitations. The doctor reminded me that I was on a maintenance dose, rather than a therapeutic dose of antidepressant. He increased the dosage, and made sure I got the medication that works better for me. As my physician, he mentors to me.

2. I phoned Alberta Mental Health and booked to see a therapist. I had an intake telephone conversation and the group chose a therapist who is encouraging and supportive--a good mentor for me. I told her upfront of my Christian faith. She said I was fortunate for that and she is respectful of my faith. 

3. Just a few days before I “hit the (proverbial) wall,” I received a newsletter from Grace Fox. (Longtime InScribers may remember her as one of our keynote speaker for Fall Conference several years ago.) 

At that FC, I bought her book, workbook and tape called, Moving from Fear to Freedom. In her newsletter, she announced a seven week online (Zoom) course with this book and workbook as her material. I knew it would take time, which Hank mentioned, because I always seem to be short of time. But I looked at the book again and realized this would be good for me.

I believe this was God’s timing. Now, about 12 weeks after admitting I was depressed, I am feeling better but I still need to limit my commitments. Looking after my husband is my main job. I am, however, looking after myself better and appreciating life more, or should I say accepting the way things are during the restraints of the pandemic.

And Hank? Although he isn’t feeling exactly spry is feeling somewhat better too. God does hear and answer prayers and he knows what is best for us.

PS. I found out about Grace’s course, Moving from Fear to Freedom, from her newsletter. This course is now finished, but she is planning more seven-week courses for women. Grace is a good mentor for women. If you are interested in seeing what she has for future courses, you may sign up for her newsletters at the following site: www.gracefoxcom/blog 

Poised Above the Shadow Mentors – Denise M. Ford

Writing may sometimes find me precariously positioned above a void. I come prepared to flex my muscles, to put into motion the movement that will unlock the words which will pull me forward to the edge. Recognizing that I am ready to swing out to thrust my ideas towards a single bar, I focus on the awaiting trapeze.

Most days I completely ignore the safety net below me, or rather I take for granted that it exists. I know it offers a rebounding resurgence if I require it. It may appear like a memory foam mattress reassuring my wavering courage. I acknowledge its presence as it offers me a place to tumble into where I will recall the authors and stories that have surrounded me and modified my thinking.

Regardless of where we grow up or how we receive our education, we have built-in repertoires of narratives or pieces of writing that have influenced us. How we open ourselves to those resources varies based on the particular writing genre we happen to approach.

For my first writing job I wrote a column about my hometown in the local Emmaus Free Press. Each Friday I submitted several paragraphs noting the events and activities happening in our small community. At the time the writings of Samuel Clemens, alias Mark Twain, influenced the way I approached these assignments.

I wrote in a friendly conversational style, choosing to entertain as I informed my fellow townsfolk. Often, I chose a tidbit of history or folklore from our local environs. Fortunately, much like Mark Twain, I had real life individuals surrounding me from which I could base my character sketches. I learned to incorporate my anecdotes with homespun wisdom served up as slightly blurred mirrors that might reflect cultural missteps to my small-town populace.

Not that I strove to preach or judge. Not that anyone perceived my column in that regard. It truly seemed as if each week I wrote a letter to my friends, and in turn they would call me with a newsy item or idea they thought I should consider for a future column. I found I wove words according to the colloquialism of the people I knew. Of course, because my readers could “hear me” through my sentences, they accepted this way of receiving weekly news.

It wouldn’t be the last time that I allowed a writer’s style to provide an undercurrent for how I shaped my approach to a written task. During my years spent pursuing interviews and promoting companies I leaned on the foundation of realism. Get the facts, make observations, reveal the truth, answer the questions. Then as demonstrated by Sinclair Lewis and Charles Dickens, I didn’t flinch when painting the picture of as many details as I could to help draw my reader into the vivid imagery.

Surprisingly I have found myself swept up into the cadence and symbolism of poetry as a way to soothe myself when stressful deadlines and family mayhem become more prevalent in my life. I alternate between Emily Dickinson and Robert Frost to entice me into short reveries of verse that nudge my soul into the space it requires to stretch out and relax. In fact, I often reread the books sitting on my poets’ corner of my bookshelves. I marvel at meanings that eluded me in prior poetry perusals.

These past few months I reopened the complete works of Jane Austen and delighted in comparing the journals of Louisa May Alcott to her own published novels. I sought to understand the way both of these authors observed human relationships and how they strove to compose scenes into tales. They invited readers to walk amongst the characters and become imbued with their distinct culture and time period.

I truly marvel how any particular story I may have read has settled within my consciousness. I picture a master shuffler as my brain files a specific writing style so that I may choose to let it affect my future creative flare in a written piece of art.

I welcome the classic shadow mentors of the past and the innovative daring guides of the present. These reside within me and about me. I trust they will provide ways to influence me as I reach out to fearlessly perform, tossing my words forward, spinning them into a unique style so they may be caught in the minds of a reader.

Lynn without an "e" by Lynn Dove

When I was a little girl I had a lot of trouble fitting in.  I was a bit geeky looking and bit my nails to the quick.  I wasn't a social butterfly, and did not make friends easily.  I was a people pleaser, still am to some extent, so I followed along with the herd mentality of the time, even if I didn't agree with the "herd".  I had a wild imagination that I allowed to run wild on paper, so I became known as a "story teller" in elementary school.  I loved to write grand adventures, and used as my characters all the students in my class, including teachers (who oftentimes were depicted as villains).  Everyone enjoyed hearing their name mentioned in my stories, and so I gained notoriety and some vain enjoyment in being the centre of attention for a little when I would read aloud my stories in class.  My teachers encouraged my writing, perhaps seeing some potential in me that was otherwise lacking in other subject areas at school.  

When I was a teenager, I continued to write and enjoyed writing satirical articles for the local community paper and our school newspaper.  Again, it allowed me an opportunity to express my thoughts and opinions that I could not voice in person.  Most often people agreed with my stance, but occasionally someone would oppose my view, and I took their criticism personally and would retreat to my "corner", unable to write for weeks.  I still have difficulty having my writing critiqued.  Although I no longer take it as a personal affront, I still do not like to read negative reviews.  I step out of my comfort zone each and every time I enter a writing competition because I am so nervous about what judges may say about my writing.  Yet, I also enjoy honing my craft, so I have learned to accept and learn from constructive criticism, but it has taken years to overcome my fear of critical evaluation.

I was an avid reader from a very young age, disappearing whole-heartedly into a book, where I lived, breathed and took on the persona of the main character.  It was like being teleported to a new plane of reality for me every time I immersed myself in a book.  I can remember the first time I went into our school library in grade one and signed out my first chapter book.  THAT book changed my life, and in some ways is partially responsible for the career trajectory I took in becoming a teacher and a writer.

I would never presume to think my writing comparable to this incomparable writer, but it would behoove me to say that throughout my life her books have greatly inspired and influenced my own writing.  I do not feel this author's "presence" when I write; I have no belief in that whatsoever.  However, there are many times when I write, that I will challenge myself to emulate this author's capacity to write predominantly from personal experience.  The first time I read "Anne of Green Gables" by Lucy Maud Montgomery, I knew I wanted to write novels geared towards youth and young adults, but would also captivate the attention of readers of all ages.  Montgomery's headstrong, young heroine, Anne imprinted herself on my heart. I related to Anne in so many, many ways.  She was geeky too, but had a wild imagination like myself.  Like Anne, I was constantly correcting people how to spell my first name: Lynn without an "e" please!  Anne wrote articles and stories and became a teacher, and reading about her adventures as a writer and teacher, fostered a longing in me to have the same kinds of adventures.  Of course, as I got older and continued to read other novels written by L.M. Montgomery, I became more and more enamored and impressed with the strong, heroines she wrote about in her books.  Over many years, I have compiled the complete "Anne" collection, as well as add twenty or so more books written by Lucy Maud Montgomery.  

L.M. Montgomery depicts women as strong individuals who follow their dreams despite trying circumstances.  Again, I relate so well to these women.  My life in general has been a series of overcoming challenging situations.  Like me, those heroines have made their share of mistakes, but they challenge themselves and others to forge ahead despite what they may face.  They are humourous, they take risks, they are unstoppable, and that gives them credibility in my eyes.  I also enjoy how faith is interwoven throughout Montgomery's books.  She is not preachy, allowing the reader to surmise how and from Whom her heroines gain their strength.  

Another attribute I applaud in the way Montgomery builds her characters, is the real attention to detail.  Her characters are so believable that the reader develops a close affinity with them.  Anne became my lifelong friend as a young reader!  I cared about what happened to her in each book.  Long after the last page was turned, I wanted to learn more about her. I remember memorizing the poem "The Highwayman" because Anne did!  In every Language Arts class I have taught in junior high, I have taken special pleasure in introducing my students to that epic poem, regardless whether or not it was on the school's curriculum outline.  

When I started to write my first novel, I was very mindful about character development, especially depicting my heroines to be strong, confident individuals, yet be vulnerable as well.  I wanted them to have teachable spirits. I believe that L.M. Montgomery would have approved of my efforts.  

Perhaps one of the most important lessons I learned after reading "Anne of Green Gables", was embedded in a line that Anne spoke: "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it."  I can't help but think that L.M. Montgomery may have had this Bible Verse in mind when she penned that line. "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases: his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV)

My writing and daily living is wrapped up in that philosophy.  

Lynn Dove is the award-winning author, of the YA “Wounded Trilogy”- a contemporary Christian fiction series with coming-of-age themes.  A wife, mom, grandmother, and free-lance writer with articles published in several magazines and anthologies including Chicken Soup for the Soul books, her blog, “Journey Thoughts” is a Canadian Christian Writing Award winner.  Readers may connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and at lynndove.com