THANKFULNESS FIRST by Bryan Norford

 

Why is it that we tend to blame God for the difficult times of life, but credit ourselves when things go right? Clearly that cussed nature inherited from our earliest forebears still dogs us all, even when we know different.

The exhortations in Scripture and frequent calls from the pulpit to be thankful—even the theme for this month’s blog—only emphasize this tendency. Do we really need a special day in October to be sure we’re thankful?

The Bible even goes so far as to suggest lack of thankfulness is the leading edge of futile thinking, “For although they knew God, they neither glorified Him as God nor gave thanks to Him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened,” Romans 1:21, my emphasis.

An inspired thought: clarity of mind comes from thankfulness. Without it our view of life is distorted and unreliable. Absence of thankfulness only feeds into a pervading view that God is somehow responsible for our ills. We concentrate on the darkness around us, with increasing resignation, bitterness, or anger.

None of us reach the older years of life without having faced distressing circumstances. I have been impressed this month with InScribe blogs where members have described the most difficult conditions of life, yet allied with evidence that thankfulness was the bridge holding each one up over those troubled waters.

This thankfulness would not initially be for the experience, but thankfulness during it. As we are exhorted, “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus,” 1 Thessalonians 5:18. But of greater value is the almost universal idea that adversity brought new understanding of our faith and a more intimate walk with God.

The hardships we experience are not to be desired or sought, but adverse times teach us much we cannot gain in less oppressive episodes. In all circumstances, our joy, peace, and sense of well-being, all depend on being thankful.

I believe that was Paul’s secret to contentment.  “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want,” Philippians 4:12.  

May it always be ours.

Change by Loretta Bouillon

Today I feel grateful. Sitting on my porch, looking out over the expanse of my yard, my flower pots are still in bloom, but the fall colours are in the background. The view signifies change.

I love the change of seasons here, in Northern British Columbia. Sometimes, I fantasize about living in a warm climate where there are only two seasons: sunny/hot and warm/rainy. But really, as I look out at my flowers against the background of the golden trees, there is something inside of me that feels excited about the fall. On the horizon awaits a youth conference with my teens, a little trip to see my son at university and of course Christmas will be right around the corner.

At the same time, I fight some sadness and a bit of fear as a season of my life comes to an end.  My sixteen year homeschool career is coming to a close. I struggle to let go. I struggle to re-establish my identity which used to be “homeschooling mom”. My youngest is in grade 11 at our local school, and my daughter who has just graduated has gone back for one semester to do two extra courses. So now what?

I have been hired as a “teacher on call” at the school. Never in my wildest dreams did I see myself teaching at a school especially after “retirement”!  However, I was asked if I would be interested and after praying about it I felt to give it a try. If I think about it, I am a bit terrified. But if I don’t think about it (and relax in the peace that God brought the position to me) then I’m okay. It’s really the perfect job for me as being “on call” will allow me time to write.

I also plan to get serious about my writing. To write every day, to take my personal blog in a new direction and to write according to a schedule (for those of you who know me, you would know that is my biggest challenge!). I recently attended the Inscribe Writer’s conference.  I am grateful for Melanie Fischer and Tracy Krauss who did workshops on blogging. Both of them inspired me to look at my blog with a fresh perspective. I also bought Melanie’s Fischer’s book called Ya…But How? It is for building your online platform for the “very very beginner” and I plan to make good use of it!

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I had a wonderful “blue pencil” review with Pam Mytroen. She reviewed my children’s picture book that I wrote twelve years ago about educating the young child on alcoholism and sobriety. I have tried to submit it a couple of times with the same comment received: “although we find merit in the content of this manuscript, the target audience would be too small to risk taking you on.”  I have been advised to self-publish but that means paying an illustrator and the cost is too great. Pam was so encouraging, saying that this book needs to be published. After taking her suggestions, I polished  the piece and sent it to the Canscaip (Canadian Society of Children’s Authors, Illustrators and Performers) annual writing for children competition.  The ten top submissions will be sent to three major children’s publishers for consideration.  I will leave it in God’s hands now.

Change... It can be a good thing. Without God it can be scary and overwhelming but right now it’s time to smile at the memories, to let the flock fly and step into the next chapter of my life. Therefore I will look to Him for guidance each day with a thankful heart, and trust that He also wants the very best for me. 

Grateful For Rejection - Again by Tracy Krauss

This month we are encouraged to write about a difficult experience that taught us to be grateful. I can think of tons. The 'refiner's fire' is one of the best ways - if not THE best way - to grow as a Christian and as a human being. God has used many difficult experiences to teach me during my life's journey, and I know He's done the same for you.

I can't help but think of a writing example which became one of my submissions to Inscribe's new anthology 7 Essential Habits Of Christian Writers. It is called "Embrace Rejection" and I think it embodies what this month's topic is all about. In it, I talk about my many years of submitting manuscripts to agents and publishers only to be rejected over and over again. Through those disappointments, I learned a lot of valuable things about what not to do which continue to benefit me as I grow as a writer.

"Rejection makes you a better writer because it forces you from the fantasyland of your own imagination into the real world of readers. It yanks you out of the cushioned bubble of friends and family, where everyone loves what you’ve written because… well, because you wrote it. The good news is that rejection will make you stronger. I know you’ve heard it before, but it’s true. Criticism, especially when it’s constructive, is a fantastic teacher." (7 Essential Habits of Christian Writers, location 1337) 

For those who have read the anthology, you may recall that I submitted more than a hundred different queries over several years. Most were unanswered, several received polite rejection letters with no explanation, even less received rejections that at least explained where I could do better, and three - yes THREE - were positive requests for more.

This early rejection helped me in many ways:

1. First, it helped me become a better writer. If that many people felt my manuscript needed work, then they were probably on to something.

2. Second, it opened my eyes to targeting the right audience for my work. One size doesn't fit all, no matter what we want to believe.

3. Third, it showed me that writing was more than a hobby. I mean, seriously! Who would keep exposing themselves to that kind of hurt if it wasn't something they felt called to do?

4. Fourth, it made me tough. Not everyone is going to love what I write and I'm okay with that. 

5. Fifth, and perhaps most important of all, it made me understand that I am not synonymous with my writing. A rejection of something I've written is NOT the same as a personal rejection of ME as a person.

You can read the entire article in 7 Essential Habits of Christian Writers.  Just remember that rejection is part of the writing life, so get used to it. Embrace it. Learn from it. And carry on.

Tracy Krauss writes from her home in northern British Columbia. Since those early days of rejection, she has gone on to see several best selling and award winning novels published as well as multiple stage plays, non-fiction books, and an illustrated children's book. Website: tracykrauss.com

Misery Loves Company by Bobbi Junior

My friend, Marta, was in turmoil. Her husband had cancer. She was trying to find a good group care program for her 18 year old disabled son. She was maintaing their household pretty much on her own, as her husband could no longer help. She worked full time as a church secretary, and constantly dealt with members who complained to her about the pastor and others in the church. Life was miserable, and as her long-time friend, she held nothing back when we talked.

One day Marta called me, and she was livid. “We had a ladies’ group last night,” she told me. “It was a mockery. Ridiculous. We had to take little jars and put notes in them of all the things we’re grateful for, and then close them up and decorate them. An Attitude of Gratitude, they said. How juvenile. How stupid. We’re grown adults, for goodness sake. It felt like a kindergarten platitude class!”

Part of me wanted to leap into Marta’s boat and paddle out to sea with her on a wave of bitterness and anger. I was having my own struggles, and the desire to give in to my negative emotions under the guise of empathy was tantalizing.

But the Lord stopped me.

As Marta ranted on, I prayed, asking for help. It was as though he spoke insight directly into my heart. Marta’s in great pain right now - no hope, no end to her struggles in sight. I know you're hurting too, but if you join her, you’ll confirm the darkness that’s enveloping her. 

What do I do, then? I prayed.

Listen with love. Let her express her pain without feeding it. Meet her need of the moment - someone safe who can withstand her anger. The rest is up to me.

So I had a choice. Tag-team with Marta and together wallow in our misery, or step back and trust that God would meet my need, while I maintained hope for Marta and her future. It wasn’t easy, but offering nothing more than a listening ear, I chose the latter.

Several years have passed since Marta’s season of hopelessness, and my own time of trial. I see Marta regularly on Facebook. These days she expresses joy and gratitude for the memory of her husband, for her son who's happy in a good group home, and for her new husband and his family who have embraced her fully.

I’ve since had several opportunities to practice the lesson the Lord taught me during Marta’s difficult time. Empathy does not mean taking part. Rather, it means to love, sometimes silently, but always present, maintaining our own hope, so the light of Christ can shine through us. Quietly walking alongside someone who is in great pain is sometimes exactly what they need, and what we need, too.