Touched by Grief, Held by Hope by Alan Anderson

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12 ESV).

I have always had an affinity for people who suffer. Coming alongside hurting people for so long reflects my childhood. For reasons, I won’t reveal here, there was a lot of “tribulation” in my early life.

As a boy my concept of God was one of judgment and thunderous volcanic explosions. I expressed prayer to God out of fear. My prayers began with lines like, “God, I’ll be good…” or “God, I don’t know if you care about me but…” That is how I lived my childhood. I was a timid boy, and perhaps my timidity encouraged my fear. I remember thinking many times I wished I could be a grown up.

When I was a boy in Scotland I discovered writing. Writing saved me. My love for writing didn’t come out of the blue. In my InScribe blog post of Sept. 22, 2015, I wrote about a schoolteacher I remember and love to this day. Her name was Miss Gordon. Here is an excerpt of the post.

From being with Miss Gordon several times during lunch or after school I learned I loved to write. The writing was how I spoke into the world and I expressed my feelings. Miss Gordon and her care for me somehow unleashed my writing.–(InScribe blog post of Sept. 22, 2015)

Miss Gordon helped me know there was hope for me. She encouraged me. Miss Gordon allowed me to be me. This was freedom. This wonderful and caring woman, who had no children of her own, let me know I mattered. I have never forgotten her. God used Miss Gordon to introduce me to hope. She was my hope.

Tribulation can be overcome and endured. For instance, God’s people have endured suffering or tribulations for centuries. We are people of hope.

Tribulation, suffering, grief, pain, etc. have always made their presence known in life. When experiencing tribulation my patience may be hesitant at first. I can never, however, discount the might, the power, or the tender loving care of hope. Hope in spite of tribulation has helped me mature in life and faith.

My writing has also matured. I know I am not a well-known writer and that’s okay. I no longer hide my writing and this is a big step for me. I’m still an introvert and not the most outgoing person yet can socialize with people and enjoy them. This is also a big step.

 

I have a tagline I use for my writing and workshops. I think I’ve shared this in another blog post but can’t remember when. My tagline is “Touched by grief, held by hope.” Over several decades now, I have come alongside people acquainted with grief. They are my people and audience. Hope bonds and holds us together.

Tribulation does not rule over me. Without tribulation or grief or sorrowful experiences, I would not know the depth of hope God promises. Devoid of hardships, the love of God would be foreign to me.

This is how I sum up my life. As a young boy, I trembled and hid. As a man, I am scarred yet continue to hope. I know I am loved.

https://scarredjoy.ca/

 

God Speaks Through Special Needs

“Long ago God spoke in many different ways to our fathers through the prophets, in visions, dreams, and even face to face, telling them little by little about his plans.” (Hebrews 1:1, TLB)

The prompt for our June post is a timely one for me. I am going to go as far as to say through this prompt God has spoken to me. A few days ago I was reviewing my blog, Scarred Joy, and decided to refocus it. The only thing is, I wasn’t sure what this refocus would be. I knew whatever direction the blog was to take it would retain my tagline of “touched by grief, held by hope.” The blog would still not shy away from the painful side of life.

Over the past few years my family has undergone life changing and significant experiences. This includes the death of my parents and my wife’s mother, the passing of five grandbabies due to pregnancy loss and the birth of six more grandchildren including two labeled by society as “special needs.”

My daughter and her husband have three children and the two children termed, “special needs” are part of their family. The lives of “special needs” families have a soft spot in my heart. Families with children who are perhaps not considered “typical,” face lifestyles that also are not typical. They are those who walk through life often misunderstood and not always welcomed by the typical world.

As grandparents my wife and I are part of the special needs world of our daughter and son in law. We have set ourselves apart, so to speak, from the typical world of grandparents. We have our times of grief and tears, yet the joy our “special needs” grandchildren hug us with is a gift beyond words. Such gifts remind us of God’s love. He sees beyond our “special needs” and loves us still.

 

The world special needs families live in is an emotional and multi-faceted one. The emotions are raw at times. This is the rawness the typical world of families is most often unaware. Day to day living for many special needs families may unexpectedly change. Plans may have to be altered as caring for a child takes precedence due to some unforeseen emergency.

As I write this blog post, my plan for my Scarred Joy blog is to include stories etc. of families and individuals who live with “special needs.” We may often think of “special needs” as primarily referring to children and other people living with such challenges as autism, cerebral palsy, Down syndrome, etc. A family having experienced the death of a child may also be considered as having special needs.

In using the term “special needs” I am cognizant it applies to people at any age or circumstance. A woman, who is now a widow or a man grieving the death of his wife, may have special needs. I also think of such things as people with acquired injuries or a terminal cancer resigning them to live with a special need.

Since becoming a grandfather a number of years ago I have taken on a greater love and view of life.  Far from being perfect and whole, life is fragile and in a sense enigmatic. As I look through my grandfather filter I see not all of life is black and white, right or wrong, good or bad. Life just is and it includes mystery!

I especially dedicate the Scarred Joy blog to grandparents who may be all too familiar with special needs. I believe grandparents have a unique bond and role to live out if they are part of family where special needs are “normal.”

https://scarredjoy.ca/