Wanda removed her sweater and jeans and stepped on the scale. Not quite. She dropped her underwear and took off her watch. Almost. Earrings and hairclip hit the floor. Yes! The last ten pounds were gone. She snatched the picture of the fudge-sundae from her mirror and licked it.
“Tanya? Let’s go. I’m ready for my skinny treat.”
“Yum-Yums is closed.”
“I’m starting to shake. I need chocolate,” said Wanda.
“Let’s try the confectionery on the corner instead. They have hot-fudge sundaes,” said Tanya.
"Yeesh, where's the safe house when a woman needs a needle and liquid chocolate? This place is closed too!" Wanda catapulted off the speed bump in the drive-through. "Maybe Shop Mart is still open."
“Ever consider using your signal light?” asked Tanya, grabbing the door handle.
"Should we break in?" asked Wanda peering in Shop Mart's dark windows.
"It's a good place to let me off."
"Tanya, my mom keeps chocolate candies in her purse. Let’s go!”
“Wanda, watch out!”
“Just a shopping cart. Minor scratch!” said Wanda. She squealed out of the parking lot.
Wanda screeched to a stop in front of the Nursing Home, ran in and found her Mom’s cleaning cart.
“Mom, I’m grabbing a few candies from your purse! Thanks!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ahhhh, I love the way it melts in my mouth,” said Wanda as she settled into the car again.She slipped the wrapper off another candy and popped it in her mouth.
“Want one Tanya?”
“Would it help peel me off the ceiling?" asked Tanya.
Tanya took a candy from Wanda and turned it over. “You’re really desperate, girl.”
“I know, Tanya, but it’s been sixty-three days. Mmmmm.”
“It may have chocolate in it Wanda, but I’m not taking Ex-Lax.”
“Ex? Pyech! Oh no!”
Tanya tightened her seat belt and turned on the air bag.
Wanda did a burn out and headed for the intersection.
“Does the color red mean anything to you Wanda?"
“Hang on!"
“Aaaaaeeee!"
"Right back," said Wanda. She dove from the car and ran to her house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“That was quick," said Tanya. “Glad to see you’ve come down a couple notches.”“There is one good thing about Ex-lax.”
“It gets you off the road?"
"I just weighed myself again, and I lost another five pounds.”
“I lost five pounds just driving with you."
"I’m skinny enough we can have two treats tomorrow,” said Wanda.
“Give me the keys Wanda."
"Why?"
"Where's that safe house you mentioned?" Tanya rubbed her hands together and gripped the steering wheel. "I need caffeine. Now."
Silly stories by Pam
