Finding Comfort in the Cracks By Vickie Stam

When I think about writing within the 'cracks of time' I'm reminded of how my irresistible decision to write was born. Back then I saw the cracks or snippets of time as a resolution - not a problem. There was so much that I needed to get off my chest that finding time to write was not my enemy. I knew exactly when and how to fill those pint-sized spaces of time. 

When the kids were quietly playing or having a nap my pen and paper had undoubtedly become my ally. The most favourable time of course was when they were tucked in for the night. In that moment when the house fell silent I would reach for the journal that would absorb life's challenges, worries and concerns. 

When I had finished scrolling my final thought for the day I would slip out of bed and turn off the light. I remember standing ever so quietly in the darkened room. I held my breath as I cracked open the bedroom door - just a smidge. I hoped that the doors groaning wouldn't wake the two loves of my life. As I crawled back into bed, I knew tomorrow would be a new day, yet it would be chalked full with a familiar routine. In those days I embraced the routine.   

Today, I don't have to wait for little ones to rest or plan ahead to write. I don't have a routine. I'm retired. What a thrill it is now that my time is so flexible. I'm glad those days of routine are behind me! I no longer have to punch a clock or set an alarm. And I know that being held captive to commitments is not something I want to deal with at this point in my life. 

About a year ago, I decided to empty my proverbial plate - the one that was laced with too many responsibilities. Soon after, I felt an irrevocable sense of freedom wash over me - one that granted me the opportunity to choose the things I would like to do. Writing fit perfectly within the framework of my retirement.  

With that being said, about six months ago I stepped into a  volunteer position I could fulfill from home. Letters Against Depression is a charity that asks it's volunteers to hand-write letters of hope and support to people all over the world who are battling depression. It's been a blessing for me to be able to help others during this time when Covid19 has certainly interrupted our world's freedom.       

Yes, there have been a lot of changes in my life. The nest is empty, retirement found me, the world is at an unusual standstill and God is using my writing to provide hope.    

I'm content writing in the cracks.