Redefining Victory ... by Jocelyn Faire

How did you find your way to victory?

And I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

Most of us can relate to that line from the well known U2 song. I still haven't found complete victory, because I think we will struggle in some fashion until the day we exit the planet.

I believe that survival is under-rated.

She came to a point in her life, where she realized that the victory story was most acceptable in church circles. Everyone in the wooden pews was happy to hear the testimony of she who had overcome, and she who was now back amongst the blessed. Kleenexes were taken from purses to dab at the corners of eyes as the story of how she had overcome was broadcast. And cowering in the corner was another she. The she who was still hoping for victory, praying for the miracle. The she who felt defeated, where could she go? They were waiting till she had crossed to the victory ring to welcome her back into the fold ... she was waiting too. Where could she go, after all the prayers spoken and initial signs of healing, the cancer still took the life, the marriage crumbled, the prodigal son had not returned. The scriptures taunted with hope not realized. It was safer to live in the comfort of despair, because she knew it. Hello darkness, my old friend, I've come to talk to you again. But what of it? When she realized that she was still breathing, and that she had begun to see beauty once again, she had survived ... she who was still blessed, even though the blessing looked different.

Years ago at a church meeting, a discussion happened to suggest that perhaps we should not share stories of excessive hope, because it could leave us feeling discouraged, likely our lives were not going to experience the same miraculous turn about that this person's had. What good was hope, when it disappointed after giving a false expectation, a hope that did not materialize.

And to some extent I could understand both sides of that equation, but more so I thought, if all we hear is doom and gloom stories, added to a long list of thou shalts and shall nots, we get an overriding sense of grey legalism.

In his book The Journey of Desire, John Eldredge share the story of a man who lost his well paid job, due to down sizing. He never gets another good career opportunity, even after repeat positive interviews, and this man came to despise hope, because it set him up for greater disappointment. That is the danger. We accept that it may be easier to live with a sense of resignation, than to have hope bolstered only to be dashed.

And so I, along with many others continue to stumble along towards victory. And I think the concept of victory needs redefining. Victory implies winning over a situation. And sometimes the victory is the emotional battle fought, the learning to live with hope. Truly to survive and continue to put one foot in front of the other, and to put a smile on the face is a victory step. Holding on to Hope.

When Life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for hope to appear.  Lamentations 3:28, 29 The Message

Jocelyn is the author of Who is Talking Out of My Head, Grief as an Out of Body Experience.
She blogs at: http://whoistalking.wordpress.com