Writing is good therapy. I love pouring my heart out in my journal. It helps me process life. I like to pray, reflect, and even rant if I must. I think it helps me in my relationships because I can say things to myself that might be hurtful if I said them out loud. More often than not, I manage to work things out before saying something I might regret. It’s why my journals are private, meant only for me.
But what about my other writing? I know there are a lot of closet writers out there. People who write stories and poems or other pieces, but who hold them close for fear of having to share. Sharing one’s words makes you VULNERABLE, and being VULNERABLE is scary.
I know what I’m talking about. I was a closet writer for more than a decade. (Sixteen years to be exact.) That’s the length of time it took me to write my first novel. I was clacking away for all that time, working on several novels at once, actually, but never, ever did I want to show them to anyone. To allow someone else to read my words felt like standing naked in a crowded room. It’s overwhelming and scary and you feel exposed.
Then I finally took a tiny first step and let one of my daughters read my finished manuscript. It was safer to let someone I trusted, who I knew loved me for me, not my writing, to look at it first. I guess I felt safe with her, and even though she found lots of things to critique, it made me feel brave because I’d put myself out there, even in a small way. That led to gradual next steps of submitting to editors, and agents and finally, years later, owning my voice as a writer.
It’s hard to believe that first tiny step was more than twenty years ago, now. (I’ve been writing for close to forty years and had my first book published fifteen years ago. How time flies.) But I can still feel the fear of that first time I exposed myself and let someone else read my words. Sometimes I still feel it, but I remind myself that vulnerability is an integral part of this writing gig so I better get over myself!
Tracy Krauss is still writing and still being vulnerable! Visit her website: fiction on the edge without crossing the line. https://tracykrauss.com
Thank you, Tracy. Yes, sharing one's writing with others definitely makes one vulnerable. I know that I feel that way, too. Well done on making yourself vulnerable and getting your work out to the public.
ReplyDeleteAs I reflect, it wasn't an overnight decision and it wasn't easy... It takes time and courage.
DeleteThank you, dear Tracy, for being vulnerable and sharing part of your writing story with us. I'm sure this will inspire some closet writers to take the leap and allow someone they trust to critique their work.
ReplyDeleteHooray for vulnerability.
Blessings.
Thanks Wendy. I appreciate you and the work you've put into this community!
DeleteThank you, Tracy, for sharing that glimpse of your own writing journey. Don't think I'd ever heard your earlier writing story.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I know exactly that feeling of not wanting to show anything I'd written in those early years - it took me ages to show it to someone I felt safe with.
There are at least a couple of ways I look at vulnerability. First, when putting our writing out there, whether we're new writers or experienced ones, it's the writing itself that's prone to criticism. And when we're just getting started, it can be so devastating, not realizing we have to grow into our craft. Second, there's the vulnerability of what we actually share in our writing, e.g., those hard personal experiences that folks can judge and misjudge, making us feel exposed and vulnerable.
That feeling vulnerable never really goes away, does it - we just learn to carry on anyway. Thanks, Tracy, for taking on this important topic today.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI answered Wendy's comment here, so I had to delete it! However, let me say I appreciate your wisdom so much, Brenda. I look to you as one of the people who gave me courage early in my writing career. Thank you so much!
DeleteThank you for being vulnerable! I felt the same way as well “ naked in a crowded room”. It does get easier but still there is a slight hesitation when I share my work.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting Lorraine. I must say it was a delight to meet you in person although we never really got a chance to visit.
DeleteThanks for sharing about vulnerability, Tracy. It's been my experience that when I share from my heart in my writing, though it could possibly be criticized or ridiculed, is when readers are touched the most. I don't want to bleed out all my deep inner struggles, just be vulnerable enough that readers can empathize and connect. Also, I love this sentence of yours, which rings so true! "Sometimes I still feel it, but I remind myself that vulnerability is an integral part of this writing gig so I better get over myself!"
ReplyDeleteHa! In some ways worrying about what other people think is a form of pride - something I am trying hard to expunge from my life!
DeleteIt’s so easy to be vulnerable with InScribe yet I still remember the hesitation when I had to hit the key to send my first blog post into cyberspace. My heart did a flip as well as my stomach. But I’m still here, learning and loving to be part of this wonderful family. Thanks for being such an encouragement to me, Tracy, and for leading by example.
ReplyDeleteYou are so welcome, Sharon. And look how far you've come! You have such a unique and poignant voice. I'm so glad you're learning to put yourself out there. Blessings, friend!
DeleteThank you for reminding us that vulnerability is part of this writing gig. The closer a topic is to me the harder it is to be vulnerable with the content.
ReplyDeleteYes, i suppose that is true for most of us. I like what Charity said one time - share the scar not the wound.
DeleteAhh, the lovely scariness of being vulnerable! Thank you for your perspective on how integral vulnerability is to our "writing gig." In fact, your encouragement to me to write on our blog a few years ago had a part in my writing with vulnerability. I love InScribe! Thank you, Tracy!
ReplyDeleteI am always so encouraged when I hear testimonials like yours, Alan. it makes putting oneself "out there" worth the risk! Thanks for your BC/Northern email, too. Got is safely!
DeleteThanks for sharing your story of vulnerability. While it gets easier to write very personal things, I do think vulnerablity is always lurking around the next corner.
ReplyDeleteyes it is!
DeleteThanks Tracy! Yes being vulnerable makes our writing relatable but it opens us up to inspection which doesn’t always feel good! 😏
ReplyDelete