Writing a memoir is a tangled affair. Maya Angelou writes "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." I might argue that once you decide to tell the story, there is no greater agony than knowing HOW to tell it. As I've been writing the story of my family's years in Ecuador, I've wrestled with the HOW more than the WHAT. For reference I'm using the handwritten letters sent by me to my in-laws. My mother-in-law kept every one of those letters, over 21 years of them. I'm ever so grateful. I don't have to rely completely on my memory. Yet, there is far too much detail to include in a memoir. Memoir condenses hundreds of stories.
Memoir is different than autobiography in that it prioritizes the writer's feelings about her experiences over events that happened. Although the events are historical fact, they are framed in "true stories, well told," as Lee Gutkind says. It's a form of creative non-fiction, and can be constructed chronologically, or weaving together past and present experiences, following a theme, or focusing on internal conflict.
Ah yes, conflict. Without conflict there is no story. What are the two conflicting desires at the heart of my story? How can I center them around a universal theme that will resonate with readers who will not have had the same experiences?
I recently read Helen Rebanks memoir The Farmer's Wife: My Life in Days. She writes of the conflict between wanting/needing to earn money and her greater desire to devote herself to "the small domestic things (that) matter." For me the conflict might be my longing to return to Canada versus God's leading. He becomes the hero of my story as he gives me daily grace and joy to live where he wants me.
These bits and pieces are things I'm thinking about as I write my memoir of creating a home on the equator. What memoirs have you read, and would recommend?
Lorrie Orr writes from Vancouver Island where she loves the rare snowfalls, walking along the water, and spending time with her husband, children, and five wonderful grandchildren.
Thank you, dear Lorrie, for this eloquent post about memoir. I appreciate that you described the difference between memoir and autobiography. It's the same difference between a diary and a journal. Diaries tend to be more about the facts, and journals tend to focus on feelings. Writing in a journal or writing memoir benefit the emotional and mental health of the writer much more than just noting facts does. I love memoir.
ReplyDeleteThe latest one I read that was a keeper was Beth Moore's. She was gracious even though so many were not gracious towards her. It was beautifully written.
Blessings.
Thank you, Wendy. I have heard of Beth Moore's book, but haven't yet read it.
DeleteThanks for this, Lorrie. I had never considered before the difference between memoir and autobiography.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tracy.
DeleteThanks for this glimpse into your memoir writing, Lorrie. I am still working on a memoir that requires looking back at some painful times in my life, a difficult thing to do yet I feel God's prompting to continue. I recently bought a book called "Old Friend From Far Away - the Practice of Writing Memoir" by Natalie Goldberg. To quote her, "to write memoir, we must first know how to remember." What a rich resource you have in your own letters sent to your mother-in-law, to help you remember. Blessings as you write!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Valerie. I have another book by Natalie Goldberg that I enjoy, so I will look for this one, too. Yes, those letters bring a lot of memories back, and I supplement them with my journals written over the years, too.
DeleteThanks Lorrie. I hadn't thought of constructing a memoir around a specific internal conflict, but it makes sense. I hope I can read your work about your years in Ecuador someday.
ReplyDeleteI keep plugging away and hope to publish it this year. We'll see.
DeleteDear Lorrie, I'm kind of late to the table when it comes to writing a memoir. Like Wendy's post earlier you have encouraged me to give memoir a shot. This is the line I noticed in a big way..."Memoir is different than autobiography in that it prioritizes the writer's feelings about her experiences over events that happened." This is a great point. Thank you for teaching me in this post. God's blessings on you as you continue with your memoir.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Alan. I'm learning a lot about writing memoir as I'm in the process of it.
DeleteHi Lorrie. Thank you for this post. Wondering if your memoir will be available for public perusal or is it just for your family? The little glimpses you give leave me intrigued. I love the line - “He becomes the hero of my story as he gives me daily grace and joy to live where he wants me.” Amen!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sharon. I think my memoir will be available for anyone to read. I haven't looked into publishing options yet, but hope to finish it this year.
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