March 18, 2017

Bein' Green - by Gloria Guest


Unfinished projects. They make me feel defeated, unsatisfied with who I am. I so often find myself frustrated with who I am.  I have always related to a song sung by a frog (aka Jim Henson) called, “It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green.” I get it Kermit. I really do. I don’t find it easy being me (green) either.

Just as Kermit wished to be a more vibrant color that didn’t just blend in, after reading the accomplishments of my fellow Inscribers I often feel a little ‘green with envy’ and ‘green’ as in newbie, unaccomplished one, wishing to be one of the organized, disciplined ones; the ones that have projects on the go and manage to even complete some of them; the ones who actually publish their work instead of storing it in some poorly organized, forgotten file on their computer.

I do those things. I’ve spent some of my valuable time wondering why; but then, I still do them. As Paul laments in Romans, the things I know to do I don’t do….

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  For in my inner being I delight in God’s law;  but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! Romans 7:21-25 NIV

I suspect there are many underlying reasons to my problem or to be more blunt as the apostle Paul, evil within. Because yes, any form of sin, including procrastination or anything that keeps us from doing what God asks of us, is in fact evil. I could blame it on a lack of praise for completed projects as a child by my parents, undervalued and unnoticed at school by teachers, and the list goes on. Somewhere I bought into the lie that my words should be kept to myself; perhaps even hoarded?

 A ghastly thought. I’m a hoarder of words. I picture my brain as an overstuffed house filled with crumpled paper, trashed words lying around in heaps. Not pretty. It causes me to want to get out the mental/spiritual broom and start sweeping. Perhaps some of those articles I’ve stored away were never meant for other eyes. Perhaps they simply helped me through a rough patch. Perhaps some of those crumpled papers need to be rescued. Maybe they weren’t as bad as I thought. But if so, then they need to be treated with the dignity that they deserve; that I deserved as a child. They need to be noticed, to be polished up and submitted somewhere.

None of this is easy for me. Honestly I find life in general challenging Every. Single. Day.  I am an incomplete project; which in fact we all are on the scale of life. However I know I am not meant to languish there. So what is my plan? I need to start by uncrumpling even just one piece of paper to share with others. One of my favorite verses about Jesus, the true author and finisher of all, points the way.

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2 KJV

I love that verse. It’s so complete. I hope it’s not sacra-religious to also add that I like how Kermit’s song ends; with a decision to be who he was meant to be. I may not ever be the most prolific author, the great novel writer or even simply the most organized, but with the help of Jesus, the one true author and finisher, I can be successful as me.

10 comments:

  1. I love Kermit the Frog and his song about being green aka being himself. And I love the sum up of your post in your last sentence. Whether a finisher or not, whether organized or not, whether published or prolific or not ... like you, I've come to love being me. It's so freeing, isn't it? Thanks so much, Gloria, for a most readable and enjoyable post.

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    1. Thank you Brenda. I'm still working on coming to love being 'me' but making strides or 'leaps' LOL.

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  2. I collect frogs, so was immediately attracted to your post. I love Kermit's song, and I completely relate with you, Gloria. "I am an incomplete project." When we can accept that our journey is about transformation, not about arriving, we can truly F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely On God).

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    1. Love your F.R.O.G. anagram Marnie :) I'll remember that one.

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  3. Wonderful post... and green is my favourite colour by the way!

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    1. Thanks Tracy. Green is my favourite too:) I've tried to switch to other colours but always come back to green :)

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  4. Hi Gloria! There is a lot to process in your post. I appreciate your honesty so much as you lay your soul bare. You let us see, shall I say, a darker side of writing. Writing doesn't come easy and may be accompanied by even self-doubt. On the other hand, in line with your honesty, you remind us there is hope. Being "green" isn't so bad! I always look forward to your posts! Blessings my friend!

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  5. Thanks Alan. Means a lot coming from someone whose ability to be real and honest is something I admire in your writing. Blessings to you too.

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  6. I totally get what you are saying, Gloria. I too have not done the writing I am meant to do. I have not completed the race either. I need to dig into the Lost and Found that is my computer, my huge file cabinet and the piles of scribblers and note papers piled about my space.

    God will hear us when we cry out as David did in the 51st Psalm: "Have mercy on me, O God. . . blot out my transgressions. . . wash me thoroughly. . ." David knew that God would not despise "a broken spirit. . . and a contrite heart."

    Let us pray, as David does in thisPsalm: "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." With that new and steadfast spirit, may we see the vibrant green of new growth in our writing and in our lives.

    Rather than seeing ourselves as "incomplete projects," however, we need to become "works in progress."

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  7. Thanks Sharon for your insightful comments. Especially the last one about being a 'work in progress' rather than an 'incomplete project'. Such a difference in thought put that way. Thank you also for the encouragement....yes, the Psalms are both healing and motivating. Love your thoughts!

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