November 22, 2016

From Timidity to Confidence By Alan Anderson



Our writing prompt for this month asks, “Can you think of a time in your writing life when you felt that you were stripped bare, but in the end it clearly was an opportunity to sprout new leaves?”  I’ve been thinking that prompt through as I write this post.

As I write this post I reach back to part of my personality as a way of answering the prompt.  It is a part of me lacking confidence and more than willing to hide from the world.  I guess as a more introverted person I would rather not be in the limelight and go about my life quietly.


When I was a boy I was content not to be noticed by other people.  Sometimes when at school I would be bullied by more outgoing extroverted type kids.  We might call them bullies today.  I had to learn to stand up for myself.  I also learned to hang out only with people I came to trust.  It was a slow and sometimes painful transition from my old way of trying to be invisible to recognizing I mattered.


My writing life has mirrored my personality for most of my life.  I spent years as a closet writer.  I kept my words to myself.  I knew they would be safe with me from the mocking of others.  I didn’t think anyone would care about what my words wanted to say.


A few years ago I realized my words would benefit from making their way into the world.  I wanted them to grow and know they mattered as well.  Resulting from a personal experience with grief I reached out to a Facebook group.  Does that sound strange to you dear readers?  This Facebook group helped me gain confidence as a writer.  The name of the group is Grieving Grandparents of Angels of Any Age.


I post on Grieving Grandparents of Angels of Any Age on a regular basis.  The group has 478 members and the discussions are often emotional and heart breaking.  I was at a point where I believed I needed a breakthrough in my writing.  I was beginning to wonder if I could do more with my writing.  I asked myself questions like, “What difference do I make in the lives of people through my writing?”  I was asking if my writing mattered.


One day as I looked over the Facebook page I received a brief message from a group member.  She wrote something that she wanted to share with me.  She noted, "Though we know each other only online, your kind words and wisdom were the very first that put me on the path to peace and transcendence 3 years ago after we lost our 3 year old grandson."  The words of that brief message were humbling to me and caused me to look at my writing from the eyes of someone else.


The message from a grieving grandmother motivated me to “sprout new leaves” during a time in my writing where my soul was laid bare.  Since that time of reawakening I have also been encouraged by a number of our Inscribe family to continue writing.  The most recent sign of new leaves is the opportunity to contribute to a book with other authors.  God has opened doors for my words to journey through.


My timidity as a person and writer have both known times of being stripped bare.  I now venture on with confidence and assurance that my writing matters.  Thank you to InScribe for being such an encouragement to me as a man and as a writer.








Blog: ScarredJoy@wordpress.com

15 comments:

  1. Your words of encouragement are always a breath of fresh air, Alan. Keep on being you!

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    1. Hi Tracy! I'm happy to know my posts encourage you and other writers. I think we need to encourage each other as people and as writers. We are in this together!

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  2. I too have realized that as we are willing to be vulnerable, our words have more impact. May you keep sprouting new writing leaves.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words Jocelyn! Vulnerability doesn't come natural to me. I think, however, that the encouragement I have received through members of InScribe has helped me express my vulnerability. You are one of these dear people and I thank you for it.

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  3. I here you, Alan. I've been so nervous about sharing my writing with the world. The real me will surely show up.....and then what. I feel so blessed to read you post today. I just came home from my writing class. Five weeks into an eight week class where my work is critiqued by eleven other students along with the teacher. I must admit it was not a good day for me. The words I shared from my heart were greeted from some with a harsher criticism than I imagined. On the drive home in the middle of my tears, reached for a worship CD to put in. Something to help lift my spirits. I had forgotten the first song was - Trading My Sorrows. I turned up the volume! And now, I have the privilege of taking in your wonderful words of encouragement. Thanks so much for sharing who you are!

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    1. Hello Vickie! You must be such a wonderful writer. I'm sure your writing also expresses the beautiful person you are. Through your reply post here I sense your vulnerability as well. This certainly takes a measure of courage. Perhaps we can grow together as writers. We could share some of our writing with each other before sending our words into the world. That would be fun! Please keep writing Vickie. The world needs our words!

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  4. God will use us despite ourselves. That's just like Him! Glad you overcame timidity to share with us.

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    1. Hi Marnie! It doesn't always feel like I have overcome my timidity. I'm getting to be an old guy and still sense my desire to be on my own. The weird thing is I know I can't stay there. I guess I have indeed put a lot of my timidity on the back burner but it still comes in the form of a ghost at times. That might sound odd right? Yes, god does indeed use us in spite of who we are. That's a comfort! Take care Marnie! Blessings to you and Wally!

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  5. I too am touched, Alan, by your story of how you gradually gained the confidence to share your God-given words and feelings with others. When we send our writing out, we can get rejected, but we can also get thanks and appreciation, as shown by Vickie's saying that your words gave her such encouragement.

    To Vickie, I also reply that it is a tragedy that people think they are helping other writers by being so bold in their criticism. Several years ago I wrote in Eunice Scarfe's writing classes, connected with the University of Alberta Extension courses called "Women's Words. As our instructor/mentor, Eunice Scarfe said, "'Critique' is too harsh a word." After someone had read her freshly written words, Eunice encouraged us to respond with comments that began, "I like when you said . . ." or "I'd like to hear more about . . ."

    Having said that, in our Women Word Weavers Group in Barrhead, we know each other well and we dare to make suggestions, such as, "I think your third paragraph would make a good beginning." or "You might need to check your verb tenses." Still we give lots of "I likes," and "I'd like to hear." If a new writer has joined us, we tread lightly with our comments. To the group, we can say, "First draft," or "I'd really like some good feedback on this." Let your group know what your are looking for.

    Thanks, Alan, for your personal and encouraging story.

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    1. Thank you Sharon. just in the few words of your reply you have taught me a lot about how to "critique." Vickie is such a good writer and I appreciate your encouragement to her. The idea of people critiquing my writing was terrifying to me. I received it as people criticizing me and that would make me hide. InScribe writers have been gracious to me beyond more than I can say. Thank you again Sharon for being so encouraging.

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    2. Thanks Sharon and Alan for your encouraging words. I agree with you, Sharon. When critiquing it should be done in a gentle and encouraging manner, not harsh and with a tone that could leave the writer feeling compelled to stop writing altogether.

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  6. I love all this honesty and vulnerability that is shared. Sisters and brothers in Christ - a beautiful family with a common foundation. And when we write for Him and with Him in mind, how can we go wrong? Alan your writing is inspiring and your unique perspective on grieving is like balm to many. Thank you for sharing your heart and encouraging words. Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Bless you, friend!

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    1. Thanks Glynis. You have certainly sharpened my iron. I hope we meet in person some day!

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  7. Your path to writing and especially sharing your writing mirrors my own very much. Confidence is a big part of sending my work out to be looked at by others which is why I rarely do it. Congratulations of your recent publication in Good Grief. I hope to read it.

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    1. Hi Gloria! Keep on writing my friend! We can encourage each other on our writing journies.

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