May 14, 2015

Breathings of my heart? No! You can’t have them!

“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart,” William Wordsworth encouraged.

How poetic. 

How beautiful.

How terrifying!


First thing that stops me? Shame.

If I haven’t come to terms with the breathings, the sorrows, the gut-wrenching sobs of my heart, I’m sure not going to put them out there for someone to peer at, poke at, and maybe make it worse.

Next thing that stops me? Reputation.

Yeah, I know Jesus made himself to be of no reputation (Phillipians 2:7 KJV), but I’m not Jesus. I don’t have that kind of confidence, fortitude. I know how to live with how others see me now, but I don't know if I could live with a different reputation.

Still, when I think about it, I do live with a reputation different from the one I used to live with. It changed gradually as the breathings of my heart were changed.

I used to see this world through eyes of depression and hopelessness. 


Today I see through the eyes of Jesus, with hope, faith, and love. 


Even on low days, I can thank him for a new morning that holds the potential of purpose, his purpose. My life has meaning because I see him use me, use my past, my pain, my growth, to sometimes touch others.

You see, Jesus is in me, and Jesus gave over his reputation to his Father. That means my reputation is in the Father’s hands as well.

A while back I began to take a chance. In wee little steps, with blog posts, presentations, articles, stories and eventually a book, I started to pull away the drapery that held my breathings close and safe and protected.

At first, I let them out in little puffs of air.

Most people walked by and didn’t even notice. That was encouraging, to tell you the truth. My writings weren’t as noticeable, as powerful as I thought they would be.

Then I saw some people catch a whiff of that puff coming from behind my curtain. I’m not sure what scent it held for them, but a few turned, paid attention. Some even stopped to inhale a little more deeply. And occasionally a few stayed long enough to share the breathing of their own hearts.

This happens more often now. Sometimes their breathing, in the form of comments, doesn’t harmonize with mine. While I may be sending out lavender, they’re responding with stink-weed; not quite the bouquet I want on my kitchen table, but it does mean people are thinking, considering, questioning. And that’s all it might take - just a breathing in their own heart for the Holy Spirit to catch onto, mould, inspire, and fill with God’s love.

Breathing in public is risky, but without breath, our words are dead. We can do this, Word Warriors. Start with a puff.

22 comments:

  1. "At first, I let them out in little puffs of air." I so understand this and I love how you said it. I also liked your encouraging words at the end.

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    1. You tend to write in that way as well, Vickie. Keep up your 'puffing'! Your voice needs to be heard.

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  2. Your analogy is so poetic - just like Wordsworth!

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    1. Why, thank you! (Was that Wordsworth I just heard, turning in his grave? LOL)

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  3. Very Encouraging.
    "Jesus is in me, and Jesus gave over his reputation to his Father. That means my reputation is in the Father’s hands as well." I'm probably where you were a few years ago....Although I have shared a few deeper things in blog posts and columns I'm just starting to feel out the edges of sharing more. Thanks for this Bobbi.

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    1. Tiny steps is right, Gloria. The Apostle Paul is clear that it's a process, not an arrival.

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  4. Bobbi,
    You have a powerful way with words. I smiled at your comments about lavender and stink-weed. Our "little puffs of air" need to be released with prayer and the knowledge we are opening ourselves to criticism and possibly even rejection. But obedience is always the best way. ALWAYS :)

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    1. I so often forget that using the gift of words God gave me is an act of obedience. It's easy to let 'me' get in the way of Him!

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  5. So true Bobbi--without breath our words are dead. Thanks for letting those breaths out for the world to see, for me to see. You are an inspiration to me, Friend.

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    1. Your breathings are getting more and more noticeable, my friend. And your voice is needed. Keep sending them out!

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  6. Bobbi, I can so relate to your post! I love your conclusion, "Breathing in public is risky, but without breath, our words are dead. We can do this, Word Warriors. Start with a puff." Love it!

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    1. Thanks, Loretta. Your words are alive too. Keep them out there!

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  7. Thank you Bobbi Jr ... I especially connected with the (be like Jesus) but I'm not Jesus. I agree without breath/spirit our words are just words. Thank you for this inspiring post. (Inspiring ... speaks of that breath you are talking about-through the eyes of Jesus.)

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    1. Your words inspire too, Jocelyn. Keep breathing, keep sharing them!

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  8. "...my reputation is in the Father's hands as well." What a perfect thought to fall to when the critic can grab hold and stop our breath! Who am I living for? Approval of others or my Creator? Donald Miller taught me the 80/20 rule--20% will not like your work. It is having a thick skin but keeping a soft heart. Thanks for showing your heart!

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    1. Reputation is such an elusive, yet powerful influence, isn't it, Lynn? For me, it's an ongoing reminder who comes first.

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  9. I love this post, Bobbi. It shows your voice, but it also shows God speaking through you. May we all continue to listen to God's voice and let him speak through us. I appreciate all of what you're saying, but I especially connect with the paragraph that starts, "Then I saw some people catch a whiff of that puff coming from behind my curtain." We all need to "let go and let God" use our experiences, our learnings, the breathings of our hearts.

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    1. You've learned these things in your own walk, haven't you, Sharon. May your puffs continue with God's strength behind them. Blessings

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    2. Yes, indeed I have, Bobbi.

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    3. That' the way, Sharon. You'll huff, and you'll puff, and you'll...... ! :)

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  10. Stinkweek! ha isn't that true! I would rather get roses everytime I share my breathings on paper. Good thoughts, Bobbi, and thank you for breathing. Please keep doing that! I love it when you do. lol. Seriously I love reading your writing!!
    Pam

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  11. You are absolutely right, Bobbi. And I believe he is using us even now to bless others, even when we don't know it.

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