In fact, I wasn't even considered as a tag-along by my father or brothers when they went to the sacrifice given by Samuel. Until Samuel asked them to send for me, they hadn't even noticed my absence.
Probably, in their eyes, I was just a kid, a dreamer, who's good at only watching sheep and playing the harp. Unlike my handsome looking, muscled bodied brothers, who were sent to the battle front to fight with the Philistines, I was sent there only to deliver bread and cheese to my brothers and to bring back news about them to my father.
Like any youngster, I hated to be left alone in the fields faraway from my family and friends. Now, looking back, I find those days to be the best times of my whole life. Being alone and away from people, I had ample time to talk to God, to notice His fingerprints on things around, and even hear Him in the quietness of the dawning hours.
For any onlooker, I might have seemed wasting my time doing anything interesting. But I must say, watching my sheep in the fields, gazing the stars at the night, and spearing bears behind the bushes taught me much more valuable lessons than what I had learned being on the throne.
Wow! To be named as the Man after God's own heart by God Himself is the highest honor anyone could wish for, and I was so blessed to receive it. In comparison, the bejewelled crown placed on my head, the wealth acquired as a king, or the fame of conquering many cities weigh far less value to me.
I'm not trying to paint a perfect picture of me to gain admiration here. Neither do I deny the horrendous deeds I did to stain my life. But, as far as my devotion towards my God is concerned,I wouldn't even question it for a second. I must say, I sought the LORD with the eyes of my heart that I saw Him everywhere and in everything. That's what made me to blurt out in songs and dance around joyfully whether I was leading my sheep in the fields or returning to my city in a victory parade.
My deepest regret, which I weep over even to this day is how I grieved the LORD, by my foolish acts. Even though I had the assurance of His forgiveness, I cannot still forgive myself for what I did. .
I presume, power and prosperity must have boosted my ego to block God from my view for a while. And how quickly a mere look at another man's wife over the balcony led me to commit the horrible sins I had never imagined myself doing. Me...an adulterer and a murderer? But, I did become one, and didn't even feel guilty about it till Nathan pointed his finger at me. That was the worse part.
I do not know how many days more I'm going to live. I had chosen Solomon over Adonijah to be the king after me, because he's much wiser, and fears God as I do. However, I warned him about the trap of temptations and told him if he ever backslides in his commitment to God, His favor would surely depart from him as it did with king Saul.
If you ask me what advice I want to give to the future generation before I go, I'd say the following:
"Seek the Lord with full adoration. Love Him for who He is and not for what you can get out of His hands.
Let your love be genuine towards Him and towards others. Trust Him at all times, even when He seems too faraway to heed to your cries.
Temptation can come in any form. Never say, you wouldn't fall for it. I too overestimated myself like that at one time. See what happened. So,watch out your steps !"
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord - David (Psalm 150:6)