Friday, July 25, 2008
Experiencing God - Glynis
The past four months have been a mixture of flurry and frustration, questions and prayers and absolute confirmation that God is on the throne.
Before I was diagnosed with cancer, I felt I sometimes needed to prove the presence of the Lord in my life. Or I would think that I had to justify my beliefs to certain people. Then God allowed me to walk through the valley. It was like a big old tarpaulin had been removed from my life.
Initially I was shocked and saddened about what was happening to me. Then after some eye-opening experiences, I realized God was doing a great work. I suddenly understood that justification and providing evidence were not the answers. Living a life in obedience to God was.
There was a call on my answering machine from Sue when we returned from the oncologist. It was on the day I received the definitive diagnosis of ovarian cancer. It was on the day I was informed I would require chemotherapy.
I had not seen Sue in over three years.
“Why did God wake me up at three o’clock this morning and tell me I had to pray for you and to come and do your flower beds?” her voice echoed over the machine.
I replayed the message to make sure I had heard correctly. I had. My mouth dropped. It was late so I had to wait until morning to pick up the telephone and call my long-lost friend.
We went through the social graces and both apologized for not being in touch sooner.
“Did you hear about me?” I eventually asked.
“What about you?” Sue said.
I proceeded to tell her about my cancer. The silence was deafening. Sue had not heard a thing about my recent news. She knew nothing of my cancer. She only knew that God had woken her up at three o’clock in the morning and told her to pray for me.
Sue rejoiced alongside me as we discussed the marvelous, timely way God works. When Sue informed me about her struggle with cancer years ago it was my turn to be silent. Not only had God rallied Sue to pray on my behalf, but He had chosen someone who had walked through the valley, too. I was even more encouraged.
It was wonderful hooking up with Sue again, but what was more wonderful was realizing how desperately I needed prayer and how much I desperately needed God. He showed himself mightily in that moment with Sue and continues to do that in many ways. I am learning to be still. I am learning to listen. Sometimes I still have selective hearing but I am trying my best to walk in a way that is pleasing to Him.
I might have lost my hair due to chemotherapy, but I have not lost my faith and trust in God. I am thankful for all the ‘Sue incidences’ that serve as confirmation that He really does reign.
God has allowed this to happen to me so that He can do something through me. I have had to give up my students for now, which was tough. But God has opened up a few doors for my writing. I have a niggly feeling that God is telling me something again.
Labels: Glynis Belec